The Mountain Between Us
by knicnort3
Summary: When their plane crashes on a remote Alaskan mountain, two strangers must find a way to work through their differences in order to survive the freezing temperatures and harsh terrain. B/E, AH, HEA
1. The Storm

**Summary** : When their plane crashes on a remote Alaskan mountain, two strangers must find a way to work through their differences in order to survive the freezing temperatures and harsh terrain. B/E, AH, HEA

 **A/N** : Inspired by the movie of the same name. I started writing this thinking I could submit it to one of the writing contests, however it became too long to whittle down to a one shot. I wrote " _Twilight on the Blue Lagoon"_ a few years ago, and after watching this movie, I thought another stranded type of story could be fun. We shall see… lol

Disclaimer: I do not own " _Twilight_ " or _"The Mountain Between Us_ ". All recognizable characters and places belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement was intended.

Now let's get this plane crashed! :-D

 **…**

 **The Mountain Between Us**

 **Chapter 1 - The Storm**

"You have got to be kidding me," I said to the lady at the check in desk. "I can't stay here. I absolutely have to get to Washington today."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. All flights have been canceled due to the storm. You'll need to hurry if you want to get a hotel room for the night. They're booking up fast."

My frustration wasn't isolated. People on both sides of me were arguing with the airport staff, however the conversation to my left caught my attention…

"Listen to me. I'm a doctor. There's a patient in Seattle who needs me to perform an urgent surgery, that could potentially save his life. He's only ten years old. Do you understand what I'm telling you? It's vital that I get to this patient. I must fly to Washington today," a man insisted.

When he was turned away again, I suddenly had an idea. After doing some quick digging, it was coming together. I just needed the stranger to agree.

"Um, excuse me," I said while chasing after the doctor with my phone in hand.

He paused, and turned back to me questionably.

"Hi," I said awkwardly. "Uh, I couldn't help but overhear your predicament back there, and I'm sort of in the same situation. Well, I mean, I'm not a doctor trying to get to a patient, but I absolutely must make it to Washington today. I just so happen to have a pilot on hold, who is willing to fly his private plane to Seattle for me… but it's a bit pricey. So… being a doctor and all, I figured you may be willing to split the cost? He has enough room for just the two of us."

The man looked at his watch, and then back at me. "When can he leave?"

"He's available now. I just need to let him know."

"I thought all planes were grounded due to the weather?" he questioned.

"Only commercial flights. Private planes are allowed to go. I just checked," I said while holding up my phone.

"Alright, let me just… make a couple calls."

"Well, I have the pilot on hold, so I sort of need to let him know."

The doctor was clearly a bit apprehensive, but thankfully he finally agreed. As we headed to the smaller tarmac, however, I feared he was going to back out.

"This is the plane?" he asked incredulously as we looked over the small aircraft.

I didn't want to admit it, but I was slightly nervous about the situation as well. Especially as the snow fall began to increase in density.

"She is solid as a rock," the pilot said as he came up to us from around the opposite side of the plane.

"Rocks don't fly," the doctor replied evenly.

"Listen, I've had this beauty for over ten years. She's reliable," the pilot insisted.

"And the weather?" the doctor questioned.

"There's nothing wrong with this weather. It's only inexperienced pilots who get nervous while flying in storms. I've flown in every type of situation you can think of. I was a fighter pilot in 'Nam. You don't have to worry. I will get you to where you're going."

"He's got this," I said encouragingly. "I'm in. You in?" I asked the doctor, hoping my confidence would ease his doubts.

He took a deep breath, and regardless of the conflict in his eyes, he nodded. "Yeah. Let's get this over with."

We paid the pilot our shares of his fee, and then we boarded the small plane.

"Oh, you have a dog. Wonderful," the doctor said as a large yellow lab made himself at home by his feet.

"That's Jake. He goes everywhere with me," the pilot confirmed.

"A dog named Jake… That's not weird, or anything," the doctor grumbled to himself.

I laughed, hoping to lighten his mood just a bit. "You don't like the name Jake, or you just don't think it's suitable for a dog?"

"Um… both," he replied as the plane's engine rumbled to life. "I'm not much of a dog person, but if I was, I'd think a name like Buster or Rover would suffice."

I laughed again. "When I was growing up, I had a dog named Seth."

He scrunched his face at me. "That's… interesting."

"You guys buckled up? This might get a little bumpy on the takeoff," the pilot warned.

"We're all set, Mr. Clearwater," I assured him. "What's your first name, by the way?"

"Harry," he yelled back at me as he drove the plane towards the runway.

"I'm Bella," I introduced myself. "I really appreciate you doing this for me. Well, for us," I said while gesturing towards the doctor.

"It's my pleasure. What's your husband's name again?"

"Oh, we're not together. Just two people going in the same direction," I explained. "I'm actually heading to my wedding tomorrow… My wedding to someone else, not to him."

"Well, congratulations!" the pilot said sweetly. "What are you doing in Alaska so close to your wedding?"

"I know, bad timing on my part, huh? But it couldn't be helped. I've been out there shooting photos of the humpback migration to submit to the National Geographic contest. That's what I do. I'm a photographer. I just couldn't pass up that opportunity. Not even for my wedding."

"Ah, I see. And what about you, Mr...?" The pilot peeked over his shoulder, just as he pushed down the accelerator to speed towards our takeoff.

The doctor was clearly scared shitless, and was holding on to his seat armrests for dear life.

"I think your question may have to wait until we are at altitude," I told him loudly with a giggle.

When Harry said the takeoff would be bumpy, he wasn't joking. It had to be the most turbulent incline I had ever experienced before. Surprisingly, however, I was more curious than scared.

"Is it always this bumpy in these small planes?" I shouted over the thunderous roar of the engine.

"Yeah, the weather leaves little pockets of unstable air. No biggie. Everything is under control," Harry yelled back at me.

I glanced at the doctor again, and couldn't help but crack a smile at the way his white knuckles looked like they were going to rip right through his skin. I didn't think he could speak even if he wanted to, and I was slightly worried about the enlarged veins protruding out of his neck and forehead.

"You okay?"

He nodded, but did not answer verbally.

Finally, when we reached our maximum altitude, and the plane smoothed out, the doctor exhaled a sigh of relief and was able to slightly relax.

"Not good with flying, huh?" I concluded.

"No. Sorry. I've never liked flying," he admitted.

"We may run into some more turbulence in a bit, but for now the air is smooth," Harry told us. "You going to tell us your name now, buddy?"

"Yes, sorry. I'm Dr. Cullen," he replied shakily.

"Doctor huh? So you got a first name?" Harry asked, slightly annoyed.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I'm still a little jittery. I'm Edward."

"I'm Bella Swan, and that's Harry Clearwater," I told him, just in case he didn't catch our names the first time we exchanged them.

He nodded a hello, and then returned to anxiously gazing out the small window.

"You know, it helps if you don't look out," I advised.

"Yeah, but I'm slightly claustrophobic as well, so this small space is just as unsettling as the height," he explained.

"Wow, you have a lot of fears, don't you?"

"Not typically. It just seems the fears I do have are all compiled together in this one situation," he said with a slight laugh, making his first attempt to sound friendly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I took a smaller plane than this on my way to where the whales were migrating. Landed on the water. Now that was something."

"You're a photographer?" he questioned, clearly only catching part of my conversation with Harry a few minutes prior.

"Yes. But I've only recently decided to do it full time. Which is why I really wanted to enter that contest. It's so hard to make a decent living as a photographer, unless you do something kind of big. I mean, I was shooting families and weddings part time while I did clerical work, but I just couldn't stand sitting behind a desk everyday anymore. And my heart is really in nature photography. I got some amazing shots while in Alaska, so I have some high hopes for my career moving forward."

Edward nodded as if he was paying attention to my ramblings, but I could tell he was probably bored, so I decided to turn the tables on him.

"What about you? What kind of doctor are you?" I questioned.

"I'm a pediatric neurosurgeon actually," he said unexpectedly.

"Wow. I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but you look a little young for that."

He shrugged. "I graduated high school early. Moved through college and med school as quickly as I possibly could. Much of it came easily for me. Now I'm one of the top doctors in my field."

I nodded. "So, do you live in Alaska, or…?"

"No, I'm from Seattle. I was in Alaska visiting relatives. I'm not due back at work for another week, but then I got a call about a patient in need of surgery as soon as possible. So here I am. In a tiny rickety airplane… Flying over a frozen mountain range," he said nervously before looking out the window again.

"And your wife stayed behind?" I questioned while gesturing towards his wedding ring.

"Uh… she didn't accompany me to Alaska this time," he mumbled, before oddly moving his left hand out of my view.

"My fiancé couldn't come with me on this trip either," I told him. I looked down at my engagement ring, where it rested on my finger, and I started rolling it around anxiously. "He had to work… and, of course, take care of all the last minute wedding details. I'm so lucky he's the type of guy that's willing to help with all the prep that goes into it. We're getting married tomorrow. It's a beautiful venue right on the coast."

Again, Edward nodded politely, but he clearly wasn't engaged in the conversation, so I forced myself to shut up. I didn't even realize how overly talkative I was being until right at that moment. It was rather stupid of me to think a neurosurgeon would be the least bit interested in my wedding plans anyway.

Just as the humming of the motor began lulling me into a near sleep, there was a sudden jerk.

"Whoa," I said, startled by the jolt.

"Everything is fine," Harry tried assuring us, but by the sound of his voice, everything was clearly not fine.

"Mr. Clearwater?" Edward asked him concerned.

"Harry? Are you okay?" I asked as I followed Edward's lead, and got up to check on him.

The plane abruptly veered to the side, and both Edward and I stumbled into the wall of the plane. We recovered ourselves, and climbed our way back up to the pilot.

"Harry. What's wrong?" I asked, beginning to panic.

The plane took a sudden nosedive, which made me bang my head on the roof.

Harry managed to momentarily stabilize us, and then he mumbled an apology, but something was very wrong.

"Mr. Clearwater, I'm going to take your pulse," Edward said while placing two fingers on his neck.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked with my heart racing.

"I think he's having a stroke," Edward replied quietly.

My heart jumped, and then sunk into the depth of my stomach.

Edward began asking Harry questions, but he was struggling to stay lucid, and the plane began thrashing around as a result. I quickly grabbed a hold of the radio, and immediately began reciting "Mayday, mayday, mayday."

The dispatcher came on the line, but the connection was jumbled at best.

"Please help us. Our pilot is suffering some sort of medical emergency, and…."

A sudden dip sent me hurling towards the back of the plane. As soon as I was able, I fought my way back towards the front, just in time to see a giant iced mountain coming straight at us.

Edward tried to grab the controls, but it was of no use. The plane wasn't responding.

"We're going to crash!" he shouted at me.

We both reflexively jumped for our seats, and I struggled to buckle my seatbelt. It clicked in the moment before the plane came to a violent impact with the ground. The velocity of our collision sent us into a chaotic, deafeningly loud, tornado of mangled destruction, skidding across the jagged icy terrain, until we finally came to a brutal halt… And then everything was quiet.

…

 *****A/N: Anyone interested in coming along for this ride? Let me know….**

 *****If you're on _Facebook_ , send me a friend request at _KC Nicnort_. I like to post scenes and pics from my stories, and we can chat and discuss the chapters. Hope to see you there ;-)**


	2. Survival

*****A/N:** I am overwhelmingly in awe and humbled by the response the first chapter has received. I honestly thought that if I got ten reviews, I'd be satisfied and happy to continue writing it. Thank you so incredibly much for all the love and support you've shown me. I sincerely hope the rest of this story lives up to all your great expectations.

**I also want to shout out a huge thank you to **CoppertopJ,** who helped me out by pre-reading and fixing my grammar. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Thank you!

Now let's see how these passengers made it through the crash ;)

...

 _ **Chapter 2 – Survival**_

As I existed somewhere between sleep and awake, pain and numbness, confusion and sanity, I slowly began to realize what happened.

In those first few moments, I was afraid to move.

Was I even alive?

Was my body fully intact?

At that point I wasn't sure about anything at all. But then there was a warm wetness attacking my cheek, and I reflexively pushed it away.

"It's just the dog. Try not to move," someone said. The vaguely familiar voice was just loud enough to hear over the ringing in my ears, but it took another moment for me to even make sense of the words.

I turned to him, and had to wait for my eyes to adjust, before I realized it was the doctor who had been speaking to me.

"Wha… Where?" I mumbled, still slightly disoriented.

I was already in the process of recalling what happened, but it seemed my brain to mouth connection was still trailing behind.

"The plane crashed. You hit your head pretty hard, but that's the least of your problems," he said bluntly.

"What?" I asked, still confused. As my eyes finally began to focus on the mangled mess of scrap metal around me, my adrenaline must have subsided as well, because suddenly my leg felt like it was on fire.

"Something is wrong. My leg!" I cried.

"You have a piece of metal impaled in your thigh. I need to remove it, but when I do you'll bleed out. I'll have to do a little surgery here to close the wound."

"Surgery?" I spat. Even the sound of the word was scary enough to bring me back to full lucidity. I wished it hadn't. I would have rather stayed in that dazed state indefinitely than ever experience the horrific realization of what was about to happen.

"Yes, surgery. You'll die without it," Edward said evenly.

My breathing hiked. "Someone will come help us. I can get whatever surgery I need in a hospital… with anesthesia… and a lot of pain medication."

"I've already tried to call for help. There's no reception here," he informed me.

"I radioed a mayday," I recalled. "The dispatcher heard…"

"We don't know if they heard or not," he interrupted me. "But either way, with the storm below, it may be a while before they can even send out the search and rescue crews. This can't wait that long. Every time you even barely move your leg, it starts bleeding again. The metal needs to be removed now. I'm a doctor, remember. I know how to handle this. You need to trust me. I will make sure you're okay."

"So, you just carry around surgical equipment with you everywhere you go? Maybe instead we can just forge a splint somehow, to keep the metal from moving around so much?" I suggested. I was absolutely terrified and grasping at anything I could in order to change his mind.

His mind wouldn't be changed.

"You'll probably still need some kind of brace after this, but the metal absolutely must come out now. I do carry a medical bag, and there was also a first aid kit here on this plane. Between the two, I have what I need."

"You don't understand. I'm a wimp with pain."

"No, you don't understand. You don't have a choice. This has to come out, and it has to come out here and now. I have all the supplies I need, but I'm not going to lie to you – it will hurt… a lot."

My heart jumped into my throat, and my fear caused uncontrollable tears and shaking.

"Here. Bite down on this," he said, handing me a leather strap of some sort. "Wait, take a drink first. It'll help with the pain."

"Vodka?" I questioned as I took the bottle he was handing me. "I'm no doctor or anything, but won't alcohol make my bleeding worse?"

He nodded. "Alcohol does thin out the blood, but in this case, I think numbing you a little outweighs the risk. If the pain is too great you can go into shock, and that's not good."

I nodded in understanding. "Where did you even get this bottle from? Did you bring it with you on the plane?"

He shook his head. "I found it in Mr. Clearwater's things."

"Oh my god. Harry! Where is he?" I asked concerned as I tried looking behind me.

"Don't move!" Edward chided me.

"Sorry… But where's Harry?" I asked again.

"He didn't make it," he replied evenly.

I gasped, and my shaking increased tenfold. Everything suddenly became very real. It had always been real, but I suppose the gravity of the situation finally hit me fully. Our pilot was dead, and I could be next.

"Miss Swan…"

"Bella," I corrected him.

He grimaced. "Miss Swan, I need you to take a few hefty drinks of that, and then bite down on the strap. Your leg is bleeding again," he told me while fastening his belt tightly around my upper thigh.

I wanted to be irritated by his insistence of using such formal titles, instead of just calling me by my first name, but my fear of what was about to happen overshadowed everything else. More tears spilled over my cheeks, but I reluctantly nodded, and then did as he instructed.

I had never been more afraid of anything in my entire life. The crash had happened so fast that my adrenaline was pumping at top speed. I didn't have time to really be scared. This was different. The anticipation of knowing that intense pain was imminent was utterly horrifying.

I chugged the vodka, and then he took the bottle from me before I could finish it.

"This is going to sting," he warned. Without giving me a moment to realize what he was about to do, he poured the rest of the alcohol right into my open wound.

I screamed out, but the pain just got worse.

"Bite down on the strap," he reminded me.

I did as I was told, but it certainly didn't help with the pain. Hoping to keep myself from thrashing around, I grabbed ahold of anything I could, and held on for dear life.

"Okay, I'm pulling it out on three," he warned.

I nodded, and then squeezed my eyes shut. Every muscle in my body was tensed as I braced for what was sure to be the most excruciating pain of my life.

He began his count down. "One…"

Somehow I managed to squeeze my muscles even tighter. There was an abrupt pressure to my leg, and then...

"Its out," he said unexpectedly.

"What?" I asked perplexed. "What happened to two and three?"

"Anticipation is always worse than the actual pain of anything," he said dryly.

I chanced a peek down at my leg, and I was shocked and relieved that the hunk of metal was gone. The pain was still intense, but it wasn't to the scale I was expecting. Perhaps the vodka was starting to kick in.

Then he started sewing.

Each time his needle stabbed through my torn flesh, I felt it. I cried, and screamed, but the pain just kept coming with each stitch. Over, and over, and over again.

"Try to get your mind off of it," he suggested as he continued to work.

"How?" I spat.

"Tell me something."

"Tell you what?" I cried.

"I don't know. Anything. How about your fiancé? Tell me about him."

I wasn't sure if I could speak through the pain. I could hardly even think through that level of pain, but I did as he suggested, and I tried like hell to first picture his face in my mind.

We had been together for so long. He was the single most compassionate and loving person I had ever known. We had the most beautiful relationship, and I was so incredibly grateful I had him in my life.

Then I was struck with the horrible realization that he was probably going crazy with worry for me at that exact moment. The pain of Edward's stitches made me want to die, but the thought of the man I loved waiting for me back home, forced me to hold on. He had been through so much in his life, I certainly didn't want to add my death on top of it all. If he could survive everything that he endured, I could survive this. I had to.

"What's his name?" Edward prompted, clearly still trying to get me to talk through the pain.

"Garrett," I said through gritted teeth.

I had to pause to scream as he struck a sensitive nerve.

"Keep talking," Edward demanded. "Tell me what Garrett does for a living."

"He's a recruitment officer for the army," I told him. Fighting off the pain with every once of energy I was capable of. "He was on active duty overseas, but he got hurt. Five of his friends died when their convoy ran over a roadside bomb. He lost his leg and had to retire from the field. Kind of ironic that now my leg is messed up too."

"Your leg is going to be just fine… eventually. Even without an X-ray machine, I'm pretty sure it's also fractured. I don't usually handle broken bones, but I'd say you need a cast and six weeks on crutches." He took a heavy sigh. "Shit."

"What?" I cried.

"You're still bleeding out. Hold tight. I need to….."

Suddenly I couldn't hear him speaking anymore, and then everything went black.

...

"Miss Swan?" I heard Edward trying to wake me.

I blinked a few times, and then thankfully I was able to focus again.

"Can you please just call me Bella," I mumbled groggily.

He chuckled lightly, which was strange to hear, given his mostly serious demeanor. It was actually quite a pleasant sound, especially compared to all the horrors of the past several hours.

"Okay Bella," he relented. "Do you know where you are?" he then questioned strangely. Like I could possibly forget.

"Yeah. Are you finished?" I asked, hoping the pain from his stitching was finally done.

"Finished?" he asked confused.

"With my leg," I clarified.

He sighed. "That was two days ago."

"What?" I said hoarsely. I was beyond shocked and horrified. "We've been stranded here for over two days?"

"Yeah. And to be honest, I wasn't sure you were even going to wake up at all. You lost a lot of blood."

He used a small flashlight to shine into my eyes, as he presumably examined my pupil dilation, and then he held my wrist and must have been checking my heart rate. As he looked me over, I noticed his previously clean shaven face was now covered in long stubble. It was just one more visual reminder of our grave predicament.

"You seem to be pulling through now. Which, any longer without nourishment, and your body would have begun to shut down. I was able to give you a little water, but you need some sugar. Here," he said while handing me a piece of some type of wrapped hard candy.

I hesitantly took it, and that was the moment I realized I was famished.

"Is this all we have?" I asked anxiously, as the sticky sweetness rolled around my tongue.

"There's actually some jerky and a few other things Mr. Clearwater brought with him, but you need to start slow since you haven't eaten in two days. Just finish the candy, and then I'll get you something else in a bit."

I nodded, and then I saw the laceration above his eye.

"Were you hurt in the crash?"

"Nothing serious," he said dismissively.

"Are you sure?" I asked unconvinced.

"Bruises. A few cuts. Maybe a cracked rib or two. Nothing I can't handle."

"Cracked ribs? You shouldn't be getting up and down if…"

"I'm fine," he cut me off. "All we need to worry about right now is keeping your leg from bleeding out again, and trying to keep from freezing to death overnight. Last night was pretty bad. It's probably a good thing you were unconscious."

I looked down at the blanket and jackets that were covering me, and then I noticed something else.

"I wasn't wearing this sweater and these pants before," I stated, and then looked at him questionably.

"I went through your luggage. After stitching up your leg, I found you some warmer clothes, and changed you," he said, in a matter of fact manner. "You're actually pretty lucky you brought such warm apparel."

I sighed. "Well, I was out photographing the whales in sub degree temperatures. I wasn't about to go out there in a tank top."

Under any other circumstance, I would have been upset that a stranger went through my things, and even more angry that he dressed me, but in that situation, I could only be grateful.

"Thank you. I would be dead if it wasn't for you," I said graciously.

"Like I said, I thought you were going to die up until the moment you woke up… Then again…" He looked out the cracked window. "You will probably still end up dying out here. We both will."

I laughed once humorlessly. "You're already giving up?"

"You haven't been awake these past two days like I have. You haven't been outside this wreckage. Its…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news here, but we're seriously screwed. I mean… unless a plane, or a helicopter flies overhead soon… I don't see how it's even possible for us to survive like this for much longer."

"We sent out a mayday," I said confidently, despite his doubts. "The dispatcher heard us. I'm sure there's a search team out there right now. They may even be close. Like you said before, they probably needed to wait out the storm. We just have to stay alive until they find us."

"There hasn't been a single plane overhead the entire time we've been here," he argued.

Suddenly there was a commotion outside, which startled me enough to make me jump.

"Its just the dog," Edward said as the pup trotted back in from wherever he had gone.

"Oh, hi Jake!" I said as he happily came over to greet me. His wagging tail and cold slobbers actually lifted my spirits, even if only for a few moments. "Well, you look good. He wasn't injured by the crash?" I asked Edward.

"Doesn't appear to be. That mutt has hardly taken a rest this entire time. He's constantly going in and out. It's driving me a bit nuts. If we're here much longer, I think we should eat him."

"What?" I replied disgusted. "No way. Why would you even say such a thing?"

"I was actually just being facetious … But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it's not such a bad idea."

"We are not eating Jake."

"He's an animal. If it's his life or mine, you can bet your ass I'd kill him for food."

I stroked Jake's head, and then scratched his chest as he put his paw on my arm. "Well, we're not at that point yet."

We weren't at the point of killing a pet to survive, but I was the hungriest I had ever been in my life. "What else do we have?"

Edward fumbled around the mess that surrounded us, and then he held up something for me to see.

I gasped with the first spark of hope I felt since the crash. "Cup O'Noodles!"

"Mr. Clearwater must have brought it for his lunch. There's a little pot here too. Just let me start a fire, and I'll boil some snow to make it with."

"Is there more than one?" I asked hopefully.

"No, not that I've found."

"Why didn't you eat it sooner? You must be starving," I asked confused. He said he truly thought I was going to die, and yet, he still didn't feed himself? I was grateful, but slightly baffled.

"Noodles are a nice easy meal for the stomach. I figured if you did wake up after being out of it for a few days, you'd need something light. Beef jerky and pork rinds will just make you sick right now."

"You still didn't have to save it for me… Thank you, Edward."

"No need to thank me. Let's just get your strength back. You need some nourishment in order to heal. I'm going to start the fire."

"Why get my strength back if we're just going to die?" I asked him with a raised brow. I knew he wasn't as pessimistic as he was pretending to be.

"Even though the odds aren't in our favor, I'm still not ready to just roll over and die. We may as well keep ourselves busy with trying to survive… at least while supplies last… Then we eat the dog. It would be better to put him out of his misery anyway. I'm not wasting food on him."

"We are not eating the dog!" I said again sternly.

"We'll see. If you get hungry enough, you may not be so opposed to it anymore."

I just shook my head at him, and decided it wasn't worth the argument. But thinking about the poor dog, something else came to mind.

"Where's Harry," I asked hesitantly as Edward was gathering supplies to start the fire.

"I told you, he didn't make it."

"Yes, but…. where is he?" I asked, and then I had another horrifying thought. "Wait, did you… You didn't eat him, did you?"

Edward narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm not _that_ hungry yet. I'd eat the damn dog before I'd ever eat a person… I buried him outside…"

"You did?"

"Well, I didn't want to waste too much energy on it, so he's not buried very well. I just wanted to make sure he was far enough away from the plane that... he wouldn't attract any predators," he said carefully.

"Oh."

"Its cold enough here that I doubt there are many around, but you just never know. I had to clean up all your blood, and get rid of that mess as well."

"Thank you again," I said quietly.

Harry had seemed like such a nice older man, and even though I didn't know him very well, I was deeply saddened by the loss. Even if we were rescued in the next few hours, I knew I would always be sorrowful about the sweet man's death. It just shouldn't have happened like that.

And then I was faced with one more horrifying reality. "Um… Edward."

"Yeah?"

"I have to… you know." I raised my brows, hoping he'd understand, and have mercy on me by not forcing me to say it out loud.

"You can't move your leg just yet to go outside, so… here," he said before handing me what looked like a dog bowl. "Just try to maneuver yourself on here. Carefully. I'll help you."

It was utterly embarrassing, but again, I just didn't have the luxury of bashfulness. He assisted me in slowly shimmying out of my pants, and then he lifted my weight so I could sit on the bowl. It was weird and uncomfortable, and despite being careful, the minor movements made my leg hurt like hell, but I was happy to not be forced to pee in my clothes.

"Okay, I'm done," I said awkwardly while scooting off, and handing him the bowl.

Edward unexpectedly examined it. "It's a bit dark, but that's to be expected with dehydration and holding it for so long. No blood, so that's good."

Strangely enough, his very professional assessment of my urine actually made me feel fractionally better. He was a doctor. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, and I forced myself to relax a bit.

Edward took the bowl outside, and then he presumably returned to his task of building a fire. I felt useless just sitting there and doing nothing, but I didn't seem to have any other choice.

"You got the fire going?" I asked when Edward returned from outside to fetch the pot.

"Yeah. It looks like Mr. Clearwater was a drinker and a smoker. He had a couple lighters in here."

"Thank god for that," I mumbled.

Edward scoffed at my mention of god, but rather than question him on it, I decided to just let it go. I didn't care to get into a debate of any kind, let alone a debate on religion.

When the noodles were ready, I ate them slowly, and insisted that Edward share some. After two days of nothing, there was too much for my stomach anyway. When we were finished, the plane cabin began to darken, so Edward carefully brought some of the fire inside to keep us warm as we attempted to settle in for the night.

We didn't speak much that evening, but even with the flames, it was so cold that we reclined closely, hoping to share some of each other's heat. Jake came and slept on the other side of me, and I was as warm as possible given the situation.

That night was full of discomfort and pain, but I was grateful to at least get some sleep. When daylight seeped through the holes in the plane once more, I decided I just couldn't sit idle for a moment longer.

"What are you doing?" Edward questioned as I began moving around. "Do you need to use the bowl again?"

"No…. Well, actually now that you mentioned it, yes. But that's not what I was doing. I want to get out of this plane."

"That's not a good idea. You need to keep as still as possible…"

"I can't stay in here any longer. I have to see what's out there. If you don't want to help me, I can do it myself," I said stubbornly.

He considered it for a moment, and then he nodded. "Okay. But first let me try to make you a brace of some sort."

He got to work on building me a makeshift cast with pieces from one of the seats, and then he secured it to my leg. He helped me stand, and even though it was excruciating, I refused to sit back down. I absolutely had to get out of that space and see what we were really up against.

"Hold on. Here, I found these for you," Edward said while handing me my glasses. I was shocked and grateful that he had managed to recover them from the wreckage, and I actually started crying again.

"Wow, you must be pretty blind without them, huh?" he assumed, based on my reaction.

I dried my face, and then shook my head. "No. They're actually not prescription."

"They're not?" he asked confused. "Why do you wear them then?"

"They were my dad's. When he died, I just… couldn't part with them. So I changed out the lenses, and I usually wear them whenever I'm outside. They have a UV resistant coating, so they protect my eyes without altering the light or color of everything." I shrugged. "Being a photographer, I've never liked sunglasses for that reason."

He nodded. "I suppose that makes sense."

"These actually mean a lot to me. Thank you for finding them."

"You're welcome," he said, and then he put his arm around me, and helped me hobble my way out of the wreckage.

The small level of gratitude I felt from having my dad's glasses back, was quickly overshadowed the moment I limped out into the sun. My heart sank into the depths of my stomach as I took in our surroundings for the first time. We weren't just stranded on some mountain, we were lost in what appeared to be a never-ending range of snow covered peaks.

Edward was right. Even if there were dozens of search parties out looking for us, the chance of actually being found were slim to none.

We were seriously screwed.


	3. The Devil's Notebook

**_Chapter 3 – The Devil's Notebook_**

"You shouldn't be on your leg too long," Edward said after a few heavy moments. "Why don't you let me help you back inside?"

"What's the point?" I replied despondently. "You were right when you said no one will find us here. This is…" I let my words trail off.

The stingingly frigid air almost burned as it hit my nose and cheeks. The waves of frozen wind sweeping off the mountain looming beside us, was unrelenting. It was cold and white, but it may as well have been hell on earth. Cold peaks or burning hot flames, it was all the same. There wasn't even any distinction between the sky and snow. It ran together like endless nothingness. A blank page torn right out of the devil's personal notebook, which had been crunched into a ball, before being laid out straight again. The mountains were nothing more than wrinkles in the paper. White paper, shadowed creases. That's what I saw while looking at our surroundings. It was hard to not be discouraged beyond all hope.

"Yeah, it sucks. But it's going to suck even more if you injure your leg further," Edward tried reasoning with me. "May I please help you inside?"

"Edward… we can't just sit here. Look around us. There's absolutely nothing. No animals, no greenery. It's all just white. The air is thin here too. I can feel the strain on my lungs every time I take a breath. We need to try to get to a lower elevation if we're even going to attempt to survive this."

"We can't leave the plane. Without shelter we will certainly die. If we stay here, and continue to ration out the snacks, and melt snow for water, we will at least live a little while longer."

"And then what?" I argued.

He shrugged. "Then hopefully a rescue plane will find us…"

"You said so yourself - there have been zero planes overhead. This obviously isn't a frequented route for any aircraft."

"Hey, I thought I was the pessimist here," he said, cracking a half smile.

I grimaced. "No, you were right. This is hopeless. Unless…"

"What?" he prompted when I failed to continue my comment.

I still didn't answer him. At least not immediately. As I looked up at the closest peak, I realized it was probably no more than a few hours hike from where we were. And just like that, a new spark of hope threatened to disrupt my pathetic fall into self-pity despair.

"What if we went up there?" I finally asked, still deep in thought.

"Why would we go even higher?" Edward questioned.

"Maybe from up there my phone can pick up a signal. The mountain here is blocking everything, but maybe…"

"But there's no cell tower anywhere close by. Being higher wouldn't help."

"It wouldn't help your cell phone, but I have a satellite phone," I told him.

His interest sparked, and I knew he was in danger of that spark of hope as well. I almost felt guilty about it. "You have a satellite phone, and you're just now mentioning this?"

"Well, you said we had no service, and then the thing with my leg happened. I just stupidly didn't even think about it," I defended myself.

"Okay, I get it. Let's just go find it in the plane and try it here first. Maybe we don't even have to hike up the peak for it to work."

"We can try it, but I do know from past experiences that it's a bit temperamental. Anytime I stood under a bridge, or next to a large object," I pointed at the mountain besides us, "it doesn't get any reception."

Edward nodded. "Okay, so chances are better up there," he agreed. "Why do you have a satellite phone anyway? You can't even access the internet with those."

"I actually have both a satellite and a cell phone. I knew I was going to be in remote areas on my photography trips, so I wanted to still have a way to call home. When my regular cell doesn't work, I use the satellite phone," I explained.

"That makes sense," he said before looking up towards the daunting peak once more. "I guess today is as good of a day for a hike as any other."

"Yeah. Let's get going right away. I don't know how long it will take, and I certainly don't want to be climbing that thing in the dark."

"Miss Swan…"

I scowled my disapproval, so he sighed.

"Bella," he corrected himself. "There is no way you can make that hike with your leg the way it is. And you're still weak from being unconscious for two days. I will go alone."

I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he just put out his hand to stop me.

"I can get up and back much faster without you."

I let out a heavy breath. "You're probably right. I just don't like feeling so helpless, and I absolutely hate having to rely on you for everything. I'm not used to being dependent on anyone. It makes me feel… I don't know, weak or something. "

"I get that about you. But it's not your fault you're injured. If you overdo it, you could rip open your stitches and bleed out again. I was able to stop the bleeding last time, but there's no guarantee I can stop it again. Knowing your limits, and asking for help, isn't weakness. It's actually the exact opposite. It's taking care of yourself."

I bit my bottom lip as I considered what he was saying, and then I reluctantly nodded. "Okay."

"Okay. Then I better get started and make good use out of the daylight."

Edward helped me back into the plane, and he made sure I was comfortable and had the snacks within reach. He had already found my luggage in the mess, so I was easily able to locate my satellite phone. Sure enough, it couldn't pick up a signal where we were, so Edward packed up some snacks for himself, and then headed out.

"Wait!" I called after him. "Take this," I said while holding up one of my cameras . "It will be a better vantage point up there. Use the zoom to see if there's any sign of civilization anywhere."

"Good idea."

I was surprised by just how hard it was watching Edward leave the plane, knowing he wouldn't be back for a while. I wasn't necessarily scared to be alone, but it was an odd, eerie feeling. What if something happened to him and he didn't come back? How long could I survive there without him in my condition? Even worse than the idea of dying, was the idea of dying alone.

"But I'm not alone, am I?" I said to Jake, as if he was privy to my sorrowful thoughts of loneliness.

He made a noise, as if he was trying to talk back to me.

"You are such a good boy, aren't you," I said while shaking his scruff. "I've always wanted a big dog like you. Garrett is more of a cat kind of guy, so we never got one. Don't get me wrong, I love cats too, but there's just something about having a dog. I bet you miss Harry, huh? I sure miss my kitties back home… and Garrett, of course." I sighed. "Looks like I missed my wedding too. I wonder what they told everyone."

Jake kept cocking his head from side to side as I spoke, and even though I knew he didn't understand me, I felt like he was at least trying. Having him with me sure made the time go by easier, for which I was grateful.

A few hours or so after Edward left, I decided that I just couldn't ignore my stomach's agonizing cries for nourishment for a moment longer, so I decided to have a couple pork rinds.

As I ate, I couldn't help the wave of guilt I felt when looking at poor Jake. I knew Edward would have been pissed, but I gave him a couple as well. His wagging tail, and warm doggie snuggles, showed me just how grateful he was for the small bits of food.

"I don't care how hungry we get, I won't let Edward eat you," I told him as I stroked his head.

He rested his head down against my good leg, but then something sparked his attention and he perked right back up.

"What is it?" I asked, seriously wishing I spoke dog.

Of course Jake didn't answer, but whatever caught his attention outside was enough to make him want to go investigate. He was only gone for less than a minute, when suddenly there was vicious snarling echoing through the cabin of the plane.

"Oh my god!" I said, quietly horrified. Whatever Jake found wasn't friendly, and the sound of their confrontation was so loud that it shook me to the very core.

When the snarling quickly morphed into the sound of clashing teeth, my heart sped. And when the snarling and teeth clinking caused a high pitched whimper, I knew I had to do something. I did my best to rummage around the plane with the limited mobility I had, and I was shocked but grateful to find what looked like a gun case amongst Harry's things.

The moment I got the case open, I realized it wasn't a regular gun at all, it was a flare gun. I never used one before, but being the daughter of a police officer, I knew how to handle myself with most firearms. I loaded it quickly, but then there was silence, and my heart sank.

I wanted to call out to Jake, but I feared that move would just draw the attention of whatever had attacked him. It seemed like an incredibly long several beats of silence, and then I heard audible sniffing around the giant hole of the plane that we had been using as a door.

Whatever it was, it certainly wasn't Jake, and it sounded big.

I covered my mouth with my hand, hoping the animal would get bored, or even spooked and then leave, but then I saw one furry leg enter the plane…and then a snout.

I gasped.

It was a wolf, and it spotted me as it came further into the plane.

"Nice doggie," I said as gently as possible. "You need to go out now."

The wolf must have smelled my snacks, because he sure looked hungry… and he didn't seem like he was interested in sharing.

He bared his fangs and growled, and I knew I was in trouble. His entire body was stiff with aggression, and then he lunged for me. I reflexively aimed the flare gun, but before I could pull the trigger, Jake attacked him from behind.

I screamed out in a panic as the two canines fought an intense death match in the confined space. It quickly became clear that there was no way poor Jake could prevail. He was smaller, less of a skilled fighter, and he was already badly injured. So I re-aimed the gun, and waited for the clearest shot I was going to get, and then I pulled the trigger.

"Oh thank god!" I cried when the wolf fell over. Jake was able to crawl his way out from under it, but he was bleeding profusely from the abdomen.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" I asked with tears streaming down my face. He certainly was not okay, but he was wagging his tail regardless. I hugged his neck, and kissed his head. Then I grabbed the closest fabric I could reach, and tried to tie it around his stomach to stop the bleeding. "You're going to be okay. Just hold on. You're going to be okay," I kept trying to assure him.

I wasn't sure how much time passed between the attack and when Edward finally made it back, but thankfully Jake was still hanging on.

"Holy shit! What happened?" Edward questioned the moment he stepped back into the plane.

I was still shaken up a bit, so I took a deep breath to stabilize myself, and then I tried to explain the best I could.

"Th..th… there was a wo-wolf."

"Yeah, I see that," he said while looking down at the carcass. "Are you hurt? Did it bite you?"

"No…. Jake stopped him, and I was able to shoot it."

"Shoot it? You found a gun?" he questioned.

"Harry's flare gun. But it did the job. Edward, Jake is hurt. I think it's bad. Can you please…" I couldn't even finish my request due to being overcome with tears again.

"Okay, let me see," Edward murmured, before stepping over the wolf, and then approaching us to check on Jake. "He needs stitches for sure."

"Can you do that for him?" I asked emotionally.

"Yeah," he assured me softly. "I'll close him up, but…"

"But what?" I asked concerned.

"I'm no expert, but to me it seems weird a wolf would be this far up a mountain. There's no vegetation around. No other animals. It may have had rabies or something. In that case…"

"Or it was just hungry and desperate. Edward, we have to try to save Jake. He saved my life, I can't just let him die."

He stared at me for a moment while he considered it, and then he nodded. "Okay. I'll see what I can do."

Edward got out the medical supplies, and then he instructed me to help hold him down. Jake must have somehow understood we were just trying to help him, because even though he whimpered and cried through the stitches, he didn't try to bite either of us.

"Gah! He's such a good dog," I said as Edward continued to work.

"Alright, I relent. We won't kill him for food, no matter how hungry we get," Edward told me with underlying humor in his voice.

"Does that mean you think he's going to make it?" I asked hopefully.

"Well, the bleeding has stopped, but we won't know about rabies or a possible infection for a few days… We wouldn't want to eat him if he had rabies anyway."

I laughed once, and then shook my head at him. "So… what did you see up there?"

Edward sighed. "A lot of peaks… and no signal on the phone."

My heart sank once again. "None?"

"It was searching for a signal for a few minutes, but that must have drained the battery pretty fast, because it just went dead. I'm sorry, Bella. It was a good idea though."

"I'm the one that's sorry. I asked you to go up there, and now you just wasted so much energy on that hike for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing. That could have saved us for all you knew. It was good to check. As far as wasted energy goes, I'm about to replenish it."

"What? How?" I asked perplexed.

Edward gestured to the wolf.

"You're going to eat that?" I asked wide eyed. "But you just said you wouldn't eat Jake because you feared he got rabies from that."

"I was joking. The rabies virus is inactivated when cooked thoroughly. We can still eat Jake too."

I narrowed my eyes at him, so he threw his hands up in defense.

"Only if he dies from his injury. I promise I won't kill him for food… but if he's dead already, there's no reason to let him go to waste," he said with a shrug.

I shook my head with incredulity, and resumed stroking Jake's face and neck. Then he began closing his eyes, and my heart jumped. "Is he...?"

"His pulse is strong. I think he's just going to sleep," Edward said gently. "I'm going to clean up this wolf mess before the scent has a chance to possibly attracts more animals."

I nodded, and for the first time since we crashed, I was happy to just sit there and do nothing. I didn't want to leave Jake right then, even for a minute.

Edward moved about the plane, and made quick work of all the blood left by the wolf. Then he started a fire. Not long after that, I got a shocking whiff of the distinctive smell of animal flesh cooking on the flames.

He was actually serious about eating the wolf.

I swallowed roughly.

…

 *****A/N: To see pictures from this story, and some of my others, don't forget to shoot me a friend request on Facebook. I go by KC Nicnort.**


	4. Painful Steps

**Chapter 4 – Painful Steps**

When Edward returned to the plane cabin, he was carrying what looked like scraps of fabric full of something - something that smelled strongly like cooked meat.

"We're really eating the wolf?" I questioned, despite the desperate pleas from my stomach as the smell filled the small space.

"Doesn't it smell amazing?" he asked as he sat beside me and handed me a portion.

The more I smelled it, the more I realized he was actually right. It wasn't quite the delicious aroma of barbecue on a warm summer evening, but after not eating anything of sustenance for days, it smelled like heaven.

Jake woke up from his sleep, and his head perked with interest.

"I know you said you wouldn't spare him any food, but…"

Jake licked his lips.

Edward smirked. "I have his portion right here."

"You do?" I asked surprised.

He nodded. "I think he's earned it."

I smiled widely. "He definitely has."

When Edward unwrapped the meat he brought in for Jake, he surprised me again by actually blowing on it, before hand-feeding it to him. In that moment, it was the sweetest thing I could recall seeing.

"Aww, and he actually thinks you don't like him," I couldn't help but comment.

"I don't. But since he saved your life and all, I guess it's the least I could do."

I giggled. "Well, he certainly seems to appreciate it."

When Edward was finished feeding Jake, he turned to me. "Do I have to feed you too?" he asked with underlying humor.

I smirked. "I think I can handle it." I took a heavy sigh, and then picked up my meat. "How did you cut it in chunks like this?"

"I found some hunting knives. I'm really starting to think Harry was on his way to a camping trip, or something. There's a couple pots, cooking knives, snacks, the sleeping bag and blanket we've been using. I guess we're just lucky he had all this in here."

"We're definitely lucky. Thanks Harry," I said softly towards the sky. Then I sighed, before picking up my meat. "Here goes nothing." I brought it to my mouth, and reluctantly took my first bite.

I honestly didn't know what to think of it. The taste wasn't horrible, but the texture was unlike anything I had ever eaten before.

"Wow, that's… interesting," I said between mouthfuls. Had I not been starving, it definitely would not have been a flavor I'd ever choose to eat, but I was grateful we had it.

"Tastes like dog," Edward commented as he chewed.

Jake and I both looked at him dumbfounded.

"You've actually eaten dog?" I asked disturbed.

He nodded. "Yes, but I assure you, it wasn't by choice. I was overseas visiting a small village. A child there kept having seizures, so I went to see if there was anything that could be done… The family wanted to thank me by cooking a traditional meal. I choked back two bites before I had the audacity to actually ask what kind of meat it was." He laughed once. "I faked being ill after that, so I wouldn't have to finish it."

"Oh… that's… ick," I said, not knowing how else to respond. "But I have to say, I'm a bit surprised you had any issues eating it. You've been so eager to sacrifice poor Jake here."

"Yeah, well I wasn't starving at that time. I'm not a dog person, but normally I'm not into exotic meats. Lamb chops are about as crazy as I get. Although, once I did try some venison jerky that wasn't bad."

"I love venison." I smiled at the memory of Charlie bringing home deer after his hunting trips. "But I haven't had it since I lost my dad a few years ago."

"I'm sorry… for your loss," he replied quietly.

"Thanks. It was tough, but Garrett helped me through it."

Things became quiet and oddly strained for a few moments, so I tried to re-engage the conversation. "I take it you're not a hunter then. So how do you know how to prepare meat like this?"

He shrugged. "Seemed pretty simple to me. Well, I am a surgeon, so cutting into flesh isn't hard. I mean, some of my early pre-med classes involved animal carcasses."

"I guess that makes sense. Well, Jake and I are sure lucky to have a doctor here with us. I mean, if we have to be stranded, I'm grateful you at least seem to know how to survive up here."

"I have no idea how to survive up here. I'm just… trying to keep us alive, one minute at a time."

As we continued to eat, I had to keep picking little bones out of my mouth. It was definitely an odd, almost tangy tasting meat, but I wasn't going to waste a single scrap of it.

"So, what are we going to do with the rest of it?" I asked, knowing we couldn't have possibly finished the entire wolf in that one sitting.

"I buried it under the snow outside. I figured it should stay good for a while at least. No different than meat in a freezer back home, right?"

I nodded. "Will other animals still be able to smell it from under there?"

"I don't think so, but then again, I'm still shocked that wolf was able to find us way up here. All we can do is hope we're not attacked again. We should keep that flare gun handy just in case. Are there anymore flares left?"

"I think there's four in there. But I'm still hoping for a plane to fly overhead, and we can use it to be found."

Edward nodded in agreement. "That's best-case scenario."

When the sun set that evening, we were hit with the coldest night yet. The snow was coming down hard, and the wind howled like angry wolves coming to take their vengeance for their fallen friend. It was honestly terrifying. Not even the small fire Edward had burning next to us was able to keep away the constant violent shakes.

"I d-d-didn't even know it was p-possible to be this cold," I said with clattering teeth.

"I think we're stuck in a blizzard," Edward told me, having to raise his voice over the noise of the storm.

I scooted even closer to him to try to share some of his body warmth, and urged Jake to crawl under the blanket so we could all benefit from the combined heat. Without giving any indication he meant to do so, Edward's pinky finger intertwined with mine under the covers, which sent perplexing chills straight up my spine. It was comforting, and bewildering at the same time. I didn't understand why he did it, or why my body reacted to his slight touch in that way, but I decided it was best to try to ignore it. Voicing my confusion would only cause awkwardness, and that certainly wasn't needed at the moment.

"T-t-tell me something, Edward." I asked after several more unbearably long frigid minutes. My body was frozen, but my hand was surprisingly warming from the way our fingers were still linked. I was beginning to obsess about the feeling of his skin on mine, so I was sincerely hoping he had something to say that would be interesting enough to capture my attention.

"Like what?" he replied, almost too quiet for me to properly hear him.

"Anything. I can't sleep with it being th-this co-cold. Tell me something to get my mm-mind off of it."

"If you want to get your mind off the discomfort, you should be the one the talking," he mumbled, sounding half asleep.

"I-I-I can hardly get any w-words out. Please, Ed-Edward. Tell me about your w-wife."

He sighed softly. "There's not much to tell. We met in college, and got married a couple years later."

"Wa-what's her na-name?"

"Kate."

"D-d-do you have any k-kids?"

"Nope."

"Is… is sh-she a doctor too?"

"No."

"W-why are you b-b-being s-s-so vague?" I asked, frustrated by his curt responses.

"Are you kidding?" he snapped at me abruptly. "It's freezing, and you want me to go into detail about my private life? Unlike you, I'd actually like to try to sleep through this."

"Whatever," I relented, having a hard time keeping my bitterness out of my tone.

I wasn't exactly sure why I was so angry with his aloof demeanor. It wasn't like it was anything new. I had only known him for a few days, but he had been acting so irritatingly dry and distant practically the entire time, and I couldn't help but wonder what his real reason was. I understood that we were still virtually strangers, but in that situation, it seemed ridiculous to me that he would keep himself so closed off. Then again, I was starting to assume he was just like that in his everyday life as well.

I pulled my hand away from his, and then grudgingly turned my back towards him, as I continued to marinate in my animosity.

Edward was clearly one of those typical, overachieving, Type A people that could do just about anything, and was unfairly good looking on top of it all. I bet he had a horrible bedside manner. It was a wonder they let him work with children. Had we met under more normal circumstances, I was sure we would never form any type of friendship whatsoever. Our personalities just didn't mesh, which was more than fine by me. Truth be told, I didn't really care about his reasoning for being so closed off. I was just desperate to hear the sound of another human voice. I needed to be reminded that I wasn't actually lost in some frozen purgatory.

Just when my shaking got so bad that I began to wonder how I was going to even get through the next few minutes, Edward took me by complete surprise, and helped me get my mind off of it by finally talking again.

"We met before I went into medical school," he said, as if we were still in mid-conversation.

"You, and y-your wife?" I questioned, just to be sure.

He nodded. "She's now a meteorologist in Seattle."

"Oh, really?" I replied, thinking that was an interesting career. And then something occurred to me. "Wait… K-Kate Cullen? Like from _Good Morning Seattle_?"

"That's her."

"Oh my god! I wa-watch her on TV every day… well, when I'm home. Wow, she's in-incredible."

"Uh-huh."

And then I was blessed with one more tiny spark of hope. "So… the p-pediatric neuro-s-surgeon husband of a local weathergirl goes missing... That should make the news, r-right? Pep-people must be out looking for us by n-now. I mean, if Garrett couldn't rally enough res-rescue teams, Kate Cullen certainly c-could, right?"

He was silent for a moment, and then he sighed. "I hope so."

I was grateful he began to talk, but it wasn't long before he fell silent again. I didn't argue, or even think any more negative thoughts towards him. I suppose we both had to deal with the torturous situation in our own way.

That night seemed to drag on forever, and sometime later I began to realize why.

"I think it's morning… or even afternoon by now," I mumbled. It was still dark in the plane cabin, but I could see just enough grey outside the window, that I figured it must actually be daytime.

"Yeah, the storm is still going pretty strong," Edward agreed. "I don't think I can go out there and dig out more meat right now. We're just going to have to settle for a few pork rinds, and a couple hard candies today."

The storm raged on much longer than I ever assumed possible, and days seemed to freeze together. At times my body was so frozen that some of it went numb. The only warmth I felt was when his little finger would find it's way back to mine. The tingling sensation I got from his touch was actually a godsend. It reassured me that we were both still alive, because at times, I wasn't quite sure.

By the time the storm finally let up, we had no idea how long we had actually been stuck in there for.

"I'm guessing it was two or three days," Edward concluded. "Could have been less, but it was probably more."

We had to dig our way out of the plane, since it was half buried under fresh snow, and then Edward had a hell of a time trying to find the rest of the wolf.

"I'm fairly certain it was right here. It was just far less deep when I buried it," he grumbled as he kept digging.

I hated having to stand by and let him do all the work, but he continued to insist that I keep my leg as still as possible.

"The storm forced rescue planes to stay grounded, but with the skies finally blue, we should be seeing them flying overhead soon," I said, mostly to myself.

Edward paused his digging to look back at me.

He huffed. "I'm sure people have been out looking for us, but we're still a needle in a haystack out here."

"I thought you were done being such a pessimist?" I questioned, with my irritation returning once again. His negativity wasn't what either of us needed at the moment.

"I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. I still believe we can be found, but it's hard to stay confident in these conditions."

"If we're not going to be found, then why are we still waiting here?" I questioned heatedly.

"As oppose to what? Wandering around aimlessly in the vast frozen mountain range? If we leave the shelter of this plane, we will die."

"But if we stay here much longer, we're going to die too. How much longer can we survive here? Even with the meat, we have no wood to burn, so sooner than later, we're going to run out of flammable materials in this wreckage. If rescuers really can't find us up here, then we should head down on foot, and at least attempt to find some kind of man-made structure somewhere. Surely there's a road, or train tracks, or something in this range. If we can just get to one, we'll have a better chance at making it home. At the very least, if we make it down to the tree line, we will have wood for fire, and possibly some animals to hunt. It's better than just being idle here."

Edward shook his head in disagreement. "If, by any fraction of a chance, your mayday went through, they will know when we started to go down, and they can figure out a general area to search for us. We need to stay with the plane. They certainly won't find us if we leave here."

"You just said the chance of them finding us here is like finding a needle in a haystack. Those were your words!" I argued heatedly.

"Yes, which is still a much better chance than if we leave!" he reiterated strongly.

"I don't want to stay here any longer. One more storm like that, and we're dead."

"No, we're dead if another storm hits us without some kind of shelter."

"Then we will find shelter down there somewhere. A cave. Something," I said confidently.

He sorted derisively. "You honestly think finding a random cave would be easy?" He then threw his hands up in the air, and began pacing agitatedly. "I can't believe we are even having this conversation again. You actually want to hike down a mountain with your leg like that? No, we are staying here."

"Says you?" I challenged him. "What makes you the decision maker here?"

"When its life and death, I'm not about to let anyone convince me to do something I know is wrong."

"My life is on the line here too! Why should I let you dictate how I try to survive?"

"Out of the two of us, I think I have a better grasp on survival," he said pompously.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You even said you have no idea what you're doing out here."

"And you do? Since we both don't know what we're doing, then we need to do what I know is smarter. Leaving our shelter in this condition is just plain stupid."

"Just because you're some highly educated doctor, doesn't mean you know more than me about survival out here. I bet you never even went camping when you were growing up. I can assure you, as a kid living in Forks, I did plenty of camping and fishing with my dad. I know for a fact that I'm much more knowledgeable about the wilderness than you are."

"Yeah, well this non-camper has sure kept us alive so far."

I huffed. "I know. You saved my life, for which I am grateful, but that doesn't change the fact that you're wrong about this. We can't possibly survive here much longer. We need to go to a lower elevation. The longer we wait, the weaker we'll get, and we will lose what little chance of making it that we have left."

"There is zero chance of making it if we leave!" he maintained. "I'm sorry, but your little _daddy and me_ camping trips have nothing to do with survival up here. I know how the body works. Being exposed to these elements, without a shelter, is certain death. We are not leaving here."

"My little daddy and me camping trips?" I laughed once humorlessly, and then I erupted. "You know what, you can go to hell for all I care! I'm not staying here another day."

"Well, I'm not leaving. You want to hobble your way down to your death, that's your prerogative, Miss Swan. I'm certainly not going to force you to stay against your will. You just can't keep someone alive if they don't have a genuine will to live," he said with contempt.

"Miss Swan?" I snapped. "So we're back there?"

"What do you really care?" he asked agitatedly. "It's still your name. Calling people by their last name is just something I do. Don't take it so personal."

"I'm not taking it personal. I'm taking it in the exact opposite as personal. Calling someone by their last name is incredibly impersonal. You seriously call everyone by their formal last names? Like, your neighbors and colleagues? Your friends?"

"No, just mainly strangers, and of course, my patients."

"Your patients? Aren't your patients children?"

"They enjoy being called by their last names like that. Makes them feel grown up. So many of their parents have conveyed their appreciation. It makes the kids feel special, and it helps me…"

"It helps you what?" I urged when he let his words trail off.

He clinched his jaw like he really didn't want to keep the conversation going, but then he huffed. "It helps me keep a separation."

"A separation from children?" I asked incredulously. "That has to be one of the most heartless things I've ever heard. They're children!"

"Who are you to judge me?" he spat. "You have no idea what it's like to see so many kids, and know a lot of them won't survive. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do for them, and it sucks. So yeah, I call them by their last names, because if I didn't I'd go insane!"

I nodded with an unexpected tear rolling down my cheek. "So what? You call me by my last name as a way to keep your distance? You're so sure I'm not going to survive up here, aren't you? You've thought that since the moment we crashed. That's why you've kept calling me Miss Swan this entire time."

He didn't deny it. In fact, he confirmed it with utter indifference. "You keep making stupid decisions, and you won't survive."

I scowled at him, and wanted to scream out my anger, but instead I buried it. I decided any further response would be a horrific misuse of time and energy. I would not waste one more moment of invaluable daylight arguing with such a pompous jackass.

I hopped my way back into the plane, so I could prepare for my journey.

The makeshift cast Edward had built for me out of seat cushions and straps, definitely helped steady and protect my injury, for which I was grateful. I knew he had saved my life and helped me beyond measure, but he was still a pompous jerk, and I refused to just sit there and die. So I dug through the wreckage, hoping to find more metal rods, or anything else that could further help support my leg. Thankfully, I found something that would hopefully be strong enough. I then grabbed my backpack, packed it full with my extra clothes, half of the remaining snacks, one of the three lighters, a knife, and a refillable water bottle.

When I hobbled back outside, I wasn't surprised to see Edward still digging where he thought he had buried the wolf. He probably would be at it for hours, but I was done just sitting by and watching him.

"I'm leaving," I announced. I vaguely hoped he would see how serious I was, and then put his pride aside and join me, but either way, my mind was set. I would not be returning to that wreck site.

He glared at me, subtly shook his head, and then went back to digging.

Jake had been watching Edward, but I patted my good leg to call him over.

"You better come with me, boy. Without me here to stop him, Mister Cullen will probably end up eating you."

"I'm sure you'll end up eating him yourself," Edward interjected without looking at me. "You'll see. Once you're desperate enough, you'll be surprised by what you're willing to do."

I shook my head, and then turned to leave. I wasn't sure if it was guilt, or something else entirely, but before I could take a single step, I paused, and turned back to him. He was still standing there, looking at the wreckage with his back to me, and I was struck by an unexpected wave of heaviness.

I didn't have a doubt that would be the last time I ever saw him. Either one or both of us was going to die in our separation, and suddenly I had an overwhelming desire to capture that last image. I took out my camera from my backpack, and snapped a picture of Edward and the plane. The peaks behind him were like jagged ominous clouds of uncertainty. It was as strikingly beautiful as it was haunting. Whether I lived or not, someone was sure to find my camera eventually, and when they did, I wanted them to experience that incredible surreal moment with me.

After I put my camera back into my backpack, I gave Edward one more parting glance, and then Jake and I took our first of many painful steps back to civilization…


	5. Alone

**Chapter 5 – Alone**

Each step was more agonizing than the last. It was a constant struggle to keep forcing my legs forward. Walking in the deep snow would have been exhausting for anyone, but with my lack of sustainable caloric intake, and my injured leg, it was excruciatingly difficult.

There were multiple times in those first few hours where I considered turning around. _Surely awaiting a hopeless impending death in the plane would be better than this._ But something inside of me urged me to keep going, and that something gave me just enough push to get through the next step…and the next…and then the next. It continued that way until the sun sunk below the horizon.

"Well, boy, I don't know how much further we can go now. We need to make camp."

I spun around myself, hoping to see anything that could possibly shelter us for the night, but unfortunately, there was still nothing – just white, upon white, upon white...

"What should we do now?" I asked Jake as I contemplated the situation.

Even though I hated to admit it, deep down I knew I would probably die there without shelter, however I still refused to believe Edward was right about staying with the plane. I would rather go out fighting than to just roll over and let death find me so easily. At least my demise from exposure to the elements would be fairly quick, whereas Edward still had days of agonizing suffering before he would ultimately succumb to the elements. I didn't regret my decision to leave whatsoever. Had I been able bodied enough to go full speed, I was sure I would have made it to the tree line before dark. I had to try, and even though I failed, I was glad I did.

There was no new snow fall that evening, but the lack of cloud cover made it even colder somehow. The stars were shining so brightly overhead that it was impossible not to be in awe of such astonishing beauty. The diamonds scattered across the black sky, glittered reflectively on the stark white snow below me. It was an utterly breathtaking feast for my eyes. Even in my final hours, I could appreciate the wonders of this magnificent planet we lived on, for which I was grateful. How sad it would be to be such a negative closed off person the way Mr. Cullen was. I actually pitied him. He may have been smarter, and he may live a little longer, but I highly doubted he truly lived a single day of his life. I wondered if he even had any real friends.

Then my mind wandered to Kate Cullen. The gorgeous, blonde, statuesque, television weathergirl seemed so vivacious and charismatic on air. I even remembered watching her in the past, and questioning how someone could be that perfect. So, as I sat there, with my ass in the snow, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell a woman like that saw in such a jackass like Mr. Cullen. Then again, my parents were polar opposites and loved each other like crazy, so I suppose it did happen. I only hoped Kate's love for her husband was strong enough to move mountains. It would be nice if they eventually found my body somehow; I really wanted to be buried next to my parents.

In thinking about parents, my mind began drifting towards my amazing childhood. I thought about all the warm hugs my mom gave me, and the smell of her famous cinnamon rolls that filled the house every Christmas morning. I sincerely hoped heaven welcomed me with that scent. Or the smell of the fire burning pine logs every time my dad took me camping. It was something I always looked forward to every summer and winter. The cold never bothered me back then. Of course, my life wasn't in danger back then either. My dad always knew exactly what he was doing….

Suddenly I was hit by such a powerful idea that it was accompanied by a burst of adrenaline fueled energy.

"Come on, Jakey. We aren't dying tonight! Get up and help me dig, boy," I said eagerly.

I used my makeshift staff to help me dig, but it wasn't working well, so I fastened the knife horizontally to the end to create a wider surface, and then kept digging. Luckily the snow wasn't packed in too hard since it was mostly fresh, and before long, we had dug ourselves a little snow bunker. I had done it once before as a child with my dad. It was only for fun back then, but I was sure grateful for that knowledge now. Once our body heat warmed up the small space, it was actually pretty toasty.

"Now who's missing the plane?" I said to Jake as we cuddled closer.

It was actually quite comfortable, but I couldn't help but feel guilty. I should have tried harder to save Mr. Cullen. I should have figured out a way to convince him to come with us. But like he said, you just can't force someone to save themselves. However, I promised myself right then and there, that once I reached safety, I would not let people stop searching for him until he was found. I would make sure he was brought back home, even if only to be laid to rest with his family. I would bring back Harry as well. Neither of them deserved to be stuck up there for eternity.

It took awhile, but eventually I managed to quiet my mind long enough to fall asleep, even if my slumber was short lived. Jake kept perking his head up, and making low rumbling noises from deep inside his chest. Every time he did so, I'd pat his head to reassure him, but it seemed the moment I'd drift back off to sleep, he'd wake me up again with more agitated noises.

"What's going on with you tonight, bud?" I questioned him after he woke me up for the fourth time. He was absolutely restless, and I was exhausted. "Can you please try to sleep?"

It must have taken half the night, but eventually he settled and we both got at least some sleep. I had no way of knowing how long I was actually out for, but the light that was coming in through my air hole was like a beacon from heaven. We had made it. We survived our first night alone, and I was beyond confident we would keep surviving until we found our way home.

"Rise and shine, Jake. We need to get moving to make full use out of the daylight. I'm sure we will get to the trees today."

We dug our way out of the bunker, but before we began to walk, I pulled out the snacks.

"Here you go," I said, giving Jake a few pork rinds. There was no one there to tell me I couldn't feed him anymore. I knew I would run out of the food quickly, but I still couldn't stand seeing that hungry look on poor Jake's face. He needed sustenance too.

So, after munching on some snow to wash down our snack, we continued our long arduous journey down the mountain.

The sky overhead was brilliant blue, my adrenaline was pumping, and everything was going as well as possible, given the circumstance. I even had a few moments between the unbearable ones where it was actually a little pleasant. Those moments never lasted long, but I was still happy to have them.

We were several hours into our journey that day, and just as the sun began to sink lower in the sky, I saw it. The tree line was in the distance. It was pretty far in the distance, but it was there, and it was within reach. I only hoped I could make it before dark.

My bad leg had forced me to do a lot of hobbling, but seeing those trees made me want to sprint. Of course, sprinting only lasted a few steps before I was back to hobbling.

Even while hobbling, I continued at a speed that was too fast for my injured leg, and I abruptly found myself falling. Having a face full of snow was definitely a sobering experience, and I knew I had to slow down. However, the moment I got myself back onto my feet, I knew something was very wrong.

Jake saw them first, and he automatically started barking aggressively.

I turned around myself, and that was when I saw them. Not just one wolf, but several. They were staring us down like we were their next meal, and I knew we were in deep shit.

I was absolutely petrified, but I managed to slowly slide my backpack off my arms, and reach inside to grab my knife. It wouldn't be enough to stop all of them, but I refused to go out without a fight. My only hope was that if I injured one bad enough, the others would get frightened and leave.

Despite the fact he had been badly injured by one of them recently, my brave friend, Jake, remained by my side, with teeth bared and ready to fight.

The wolves snarled, and Jake growled back. They moved in slowly, and the drawn-out standoff was actually maddening. I was ready. Live or die, I just wanted to get that fight over with.

The wolves stalked closer, inch by inch, and then the assumed leader of the pack attacked first. The animal was huge, but Jake somehow got his jaw around its neck. The thing squealed, so the others readied themselves to join the fight.

Every muscle in my body tensed as I braced for the attack, but then I was abruptly startled by the sound of a loud bang, followed by a streaming blaze of what could only be a flare.

The wolves scattered, so my eyes sought out the only figure that mattered at the moment.

Mr. Cullen was standing several yards back, and I had a strong urge to fall over and cry with gratitude. He may as well have been an angel sent from heaven _– a truly pompous angel that would undoubtedly never let me forget that he saved my life yet again..._


	6. Luck

**Chapter 6 – Luck**

"You're here," I said, getting far more emotional than I would have expected.

"Are you okay?" he asked concerned as he closed the distance between us, and pulled me into him for an unexpected embrace. Before I even had a moment to realize that he actually just hugged me, he pulled back, but then grabbed ahold of my arms, and began checking me for injuries.

"The wolves didn't get me, thanks to Jake, and you, of course. Jake sure got a hold of one of them though," I said with a light laugh.

"Yeah, I saw that," Edward replied while squatting down to ruffle Jake's scruff. "I don't see any lacerations or bite marks on him."

"No, I don't think he got bit."

Edward checked inside his mouth, and then he examined his stitches, before patting his side once. "He looks good," he said while standing. "I think he just got a taste of that wolf meat before, and wanted more."

I smiled, but quickly fell serious again. "What are you doing here? I thought you said it would be certain death to leave the plane?"

He nodded. "I still think it is… but I had to come check on you."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Last night I was invaded by that wolf pack. I scared them off with one of the flares, but then this morning I found their tracks in the snow, and they seemed to be following yours. I couldn't just sit there knowing they were going after you."

"Wait, you made it all the way here in one day?"

He smirked. "I can move much faster than you with that bum leg of yours. It's just a good thing it hasn't snowed since you left. It allowed following your tracks possible."

"Made it possible for the wolves to track me too, it seems," I told him.

"Well, at least they decided to stalk you for awhile before making their move, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten to you in time."

"I can't believe they followed me all the way from the plane," I said, still stuck on the baffling reality of it all. "Heck, I can't believe wolves even went up that far in the first place. You know, last night Jake was pretty agitated. They must have been out there."

"Out where? Where did you find shelter overnight?"

"I dug a snow bunker."

"A snow bunker?" he asked surprised. "Wow, I never would have thought of that. It actually worked?"

"Yeah, I built one with my dad when I was a kid. It was even pretty warm… Well, it was warm compared to out here."

Edward nodded while seemingly in deep thought. "I owe you an apology. I honestly thought you wouldn't make it through the night, but it seems your daddy and me camping trips certainly were useful. I shouldn't have belittled your survival knowledge."

I shrugged. "Its not like I have extensive knowledge, or anything. I'm just grateful that a childhood game ended up helping me in this instance."

"Well, just the same. I apologize."

"I appreciate that," I replied, feeling as though we were finally starting to break the iceberg between us.

"You know, come to think of it, when I was following your tracks, there was a place not too far back, where the wolves seemed to travel in a circle before scattering. There was a pile of disturbed snow in the middle. I'm guessing that was your bunker. I think they were trying to figure out where you went."

"Jake knew. Didn't you, boy," I said while petting him affectionately. "He's such a good dog. We sure are blessed we have him."

"Despite this shitty situation, we have gotten pretty lucky with some things," he concurred. "We should probably be dead by now. Harry's camping gear, Jake here, the flares. Hell, even that first wolf attacking you has helped us. That meat probably gave us just enough strength to get this far."

"You being a doctor, and showing up when you did just now was lucky too," I added, agreeing with him, but then something occurred to me. "So, you only came after me because of the wolves? Does that mean you plan to go back to the plane?"

He huffed. "I do still think it's better to stay with the plane, but…" He looked up at the sky. "I wouldn't make it back before dark, and with those wolves out there, I think it's best for us to stay together. At this point, we need to just keep moving towards the trees. Speaking of which, we should go now if we're going to make it before dark."

I was slightly bitter that he was fully intending to return to the plane if possible, but then the sky quickly became shrouded in a new blanket of dark clouds. It was terrifying how fast the latest storm rolled in, and I was fairly certain we hadn't seen the last of those wolves. For those reasons, and so many more, I could only be grateful Edward decided to stay with me, regardless of his desire to do otherwise.

When a light snow began to fall, and the sky grew even darker, we knew we had to hurry. Edward placed his arm around my waist for added support, and then we moved as fast as possible.

"Did you bring the other lighters?" I asked as we finally approached the first line of trees.

"Yes, and one of the small pots. I have them packed with the rest of the snacks, and some of the wolf meat in this backpack I found in the plane. We only have one flare left, so we need to use it wisely and hopefully save it in case we spot a plane overhead. There's no way we will be seen from the air of we're in the trees."

"What do we do when the wolves attack again?" I asked concerned.

"The flares can be a last resort. If we build a big enough fire, the wolves should keep their distance."

"We may have a hard time finding wood dry enough to ignite," I commented as I looked up at the sparse canopy above us. The snow-covered branches almost looked to be glowing, in contrast to the darkening sky above them. It was actually quite beautiful, and had we not been moving so quickly, I probably would have taken my camera out to snap a picture.

We needed to find some kind of shelter for the night, but as Mr. Cullen had said previously, it wasn't all that easy to find a random cave in the forest. Then again…

"What's that?" I asked as I pointed to a very large hole in the side of the mountain besides us - which looked awfully like a cave.

Edward looked shocked, and he may have even huffed a little. He clearly hated being proven wrong… again.

"Okay, let's just hope it's not inhabited by a bear," he grumbled.

My stomach flipped. "Maybe we shouldn't go in there after all."

"Let's just try to keep quiet until we know its vacant," he suggested. "Jake seems pretty relaxed, so I think we should be okay."

I nodded, and then reluctantly let him lead me into the dark damp cave. He clicked on his handy flashlight, and after walking a few dozen feet inside, we finally stopped to rest.

"How is it colder in here than it was outside?" I questioned as I looked around the spooky cavern.

"Caves are always cool, even in warm climates."

"Have you been in many caves?" I questioned him.

"No, but that's how they are on TV. I'm assuming it's so cold because the sun doesn't shine in, so there's nothing to warm it. At least it will keep the snow off of us while we try to get some sleep. I saw some fallen branches not far outside the opening. I'm going to go grab them to burn. Once I get the fire going, it should warm up a little in here."

"Wait, you're going to leave me alone in here?" I asked, feeling the onslaught of a slight panic.

He laughed once. "Bella, you just set off on your own yesterday, and now you don't want to be alone?"

I raised my brows at him. "Oh, are we back to a first name basis here? That's funny, Mister Cullen, I thought we were trying to keep a separation between us, just in case one of us dies."

He shrugged. "If we're keeping it formal, I'd prefer you to call me Doctor Cullen, if you don't mind. I spent many years earning that title."

I nodded. "Fine. Whatever you would like, Doctor Cullen," I said, trying to sound condescending, but somehow failing. - _Damn it! "Dr. Cullen" just didn't have the same snarky ring to it. Perhaps I should just stick to Mr. Cullen out of spite._

Edward wasn't gone long, but when he returned, he seemed to have a difficult time building the fire.

"Gah! These damn gloves are soaked through. I can't even feel the lighter in my hands," he said while throwing his gloves to the side in frustration. He rubbed his hands together to try to get them to warm up enough to allow him to start the fire, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Here. Let me help," I said, trying to take the lighter from him. I got it working, but with my injured leg, I couldn't maneuver myself into the right position to light the twigs. Edward tried to bring a few pieces of kindling up to me so I wouldn't have to move, but the fire just wouldn't stay lit long enough to get it back to the ground.

"Maybe just light it long enough for me to warm my hands, and then I can work on it better," he suggested.

"That will just waste the lighter fluid. Here," I said, deciding on a better course of action, and implementing it before I even had a chance to think it through. I grabbed one of his frozen hands, and put it under my shirt to the only semi warm place on my body – my bare stomach.

I gasped the moment his icy skin touched mine, and it sent even more shivers up my spine. I was already beyond cold, but if warming his hands by making me even colder would help get the fire going, it was well worth it. I held my jacket closed around his hand for added warmth, and then I removed my other glove and buried my naked hand inside the fabric, to keep rubbing and rotating his fingers onto fresh warm spots on my torso.

I didn't allow it to get awkward the way it probably could have. The man had helped me pee, so I refused to be uncomfortable with his hand under my shirt, or our fingers intertwining. It almost felt good in a way. I never realized how much I missed and craved human physical contact until that very moment.

I continued rubbing his skin, and then finally let my hand come to a rest over his. I was surprisingly unsurprised when our pinkies managed to interlock, and I was equally unsurprised when my stomach fluttered as a result.

It could have been a few hours, or possibly just a couple minutes, but all too soon he pulled away.

"Thanks. Hopefully I can start the fire now," he said quietly while handing me the flashlight. I held it up so we could see as he worked on getting the fire built. Thankfully, with his hand defrosted, he was able to quickly build up the flames.

"We should warm up soon," he murmured.

"I should have built another snow bunker," I grumbled. "Sitting on this cold stone ground isn't helping," I added, before getting up, and attempting to move around to create a little warmth to my butt. "Ow!" I nearly shouted from the pain in my leg.

"Did you twist it?" Edward asked concerned.

"No, I think it just got stiff from sitting. I just need to walk it off."

"You can't walk off an injury like that," he argued.

"I walked all the way here so far," I disagreed.

"It was probably numb from the cold. Just sit back down and relax for a bit. Doctor's orders," he said with a smirk – a smirk that was as adorable as it was irritating. When he noticed my increased agitation, he huffed. "If you don't want to call me Doctor Cullen, then don't. I honestly don't really care what you call me. It's certainly not worth you getting this bitter over."

"I'm not bitter over your choice of name, I'm just…"

"What?"

I huffed again. "I mean, we may die together, and I don't even know you. That doesn't bother you at all? I guess being a doctor, you come across death all the time, but this is not normal for me. I feel like I knew Harry better than you, and he died only a couple hours after meeting him."

He sighed. "You want to know something about me? I'm a doctor, I hate flying, I'm scared of heights, and I'm claustrophobic. Being in this cave pretty much sucks for me."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I knew all that already."

He was quiet as he looked to be considering something, and then he stoked the fire absently, as if he was clearly uncomfortable with what he was about to tell me.

"I did something I wasn't proud of… and now I feel like it may haunt me for the rest of my days," he mumbled quietly.

My stomach twisted in both excitement, and nervousness, as I awaited whatever he was about to disclose. We were actually getting somewhere, and I truly appreciated that he finally felt he could open up to me.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure you will feel better once you get it off your chest," I said encouragingly.

He nodded, and then took a deep breath. "Yesterday, after you left… I was digging for that wolf carcass…. and I made a mistake and dug up Mister Clearwater instead."

I stared at him blankly for a minute, and I honestly didn't know how to respond.

"He's fine, by the way," Edward continued. "He looks good. No major changes since I first buried him."

I could actually feel my blood boil, which I suppose was a good thing in the cold. "You think making jokes about a dead man is at all appropriate right now? Especially in the context of the conversation we were having. Really?"

"I'm not making a joke. That really happened. I thought I was digging the wolf out, but I must have gotten turned around. It's not a huge deal. I reburied him, and then made sure I placed a marker so if someone eventually finds the plane, they will find him too."

I shook my head, hoping to rid my brain of that graphic image. "What does that have anything to do with me learning something personal about you?"

"How is that not personal?" he asked, sincerely baffled. "I may have seen my share of deceased patients in my time, but that was different. This situation makes everything different. I'm seriously traumatized. Seeing his face looking up at me through the snow." He quivered. "Something like that can shape a person. It might have even added to my reasoning to come find you this morning."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Whatever."

"Bella, I honestly don't know what more you want from me. The people we were before all of this, disappeared the moment our plane hit the mountain. If you think you're going to return home as the same person you were when you left, you're seriously mistaken. Nothing else matters other than what we do now to survive. I don't want to focus on anything else. We don't need to even think about what's behind us, or what we're missing back home. The only way we are going to survive, is to keep moving forward."

"Or maybe thinking about our real lives will get us to keep going, even in our darkest hours," I offered.

He shook his head. " _This_ is our real life. Right now, this is our reality. Nothing back in Seattle is going to help us here."

"I get that, but even just knowing there are people out there who care about us, and are trying to get us back home where we belong, can be powerful motivation."

"If that works for you, great. It sure as hell doesn't work for me. I don't want to think about a life I may not live long enough to get back to, or people I'll probably never see again. All I want running through my mind is how the hell I'm going to get through the next minute, and then the next hour. One breath at a time. One step. One day. If we somehow manage to make it back home, I'll tell you about that life then. Right now, I'm fucking cold, and that is the biggest aspect of myself that I can even recall at the moment…. besides Mister Clearwater's frozen face. He honestly looked pissed that I tried to eat his dog. Now I feel all guilty about it."

I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment, but then I found myself laughing. It was real, side splitting laughter, and it honestly felt amazing. All that tension had been building and building inside of me, and I knew it needed to be released at some point, in some way. I was only grateful it was through a fit of laughter, and not hysterical crying like I almost expected.

Not knowing the real Edward still bothered me, but I silently vowed to keep it to myself from then on out. If he ever felt like truly opening up, I'd be all ears. If not, I was just happy to have him by my side.

We did our best to make ourselves comfortable that night, and then we drifted off to sleep with no clue as to what tomorrow would bring…


	7. Moving Forward

**Chapter 7 – Moving Forward**

It had to be the most uncomfortable sleeping surface I had ever tried to sleep on. In fact, I couldn't even imagine anything harder to get comfortable on than frozen jagged stone. My aching body just couldn't find any relief, despite how much I tossed and turned in the night. Edward never said anything, but I was sure I kept him awake all night with my thrashing as well, for which I felt horrible about. However, when I finally did manage to catch a little sleep, I was surprised, and slightly embarrassed, to wake up with my upper body sprawled out across Edward's stomach.

"Oh, geeze, I'm so sorry," I said when I realized what I had done unconsciously.

Edward first looked confused, but then he finally understood why I was apologizing.

"Oh, it's not a big deal," he said while sitting up and stretching. "Man, this cave certainly isn't good for sore backs."

"No, not at all," I agreed. "So, what's the plan for today?" I asked as I pulled out the snacks for breakfast.

"I really think we should hunker down and stay put for awhile," Edward suggested. "I understand why you wanted to leave the plane, but those reasons are taken care of here. There's wood to burn, and hopefully we can try to figure out some kind of trap to catch us some more meat of some kind."

"Stay here?" I questioned. "But for how long?"

"However long it takes to be rescued."

"But what are the chances we will even get rescued here? There's no way for anyone to find us in this little cave in the middle of nowhere. We should get moving again."

He sighed with frustration. "Get moving where? We don't know where we are. We could walk for years and never find our way back to any kind of civilization. At least we have shelter in this cave."

"But what about the wolves. They're going to come back, and…"

"And we are more at risk of an attack out there in the open," he cut me off.

I shook my head, completely stunned we were having that same disagreement again. "We have to keep going. We can't just sit back and hope someone saves us. We are on our own, so we need to save ourselves."

He stared me down unwaveringly, so I took a deep breath, and decided on a different approach.

"Edward, please. I know in my gut that we are going to find our way. Somehow, someway, we will get home. We just need to keep moving."

I was fully expecting a long drawn out battle, but then he completely took me by surprise and nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" I asked, sure I must have misunderstood him.

"Okay, let's keep moving. I didn't believe you before when you were so sure we could find shelter, but we did, so I'll believe you this time. I owe you that. It's going to just keep getting harder and harder, but I think you're right about not being found here. Let's eat a little, and then head out."

I nodded emotionally. I couldn't even properly put into words just how much his support meant to me. It may have even been the most important agreement of my life thus far. We were fighting for our survival, and for the first time, we seemed to be finally taking on that fight together.

After we ate a few pork rinds, and a couple bites of wolf meat, we packed up and left the cave. But as we started to walk away, I was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming appreciation for our brief habitat.

"Just a minute," I said, and then let my backpack slide off my arms so I could grab my camera.

"Do you need the zoom for something?" Edward asked as he confusingly looked around, clearly trying to see if he was missing something.

"No, I want to take a picture," I explained quickly while squinting through the viewfinder.

"Of the cave?" Edward questioned, completely baffled.

"Yes, of the cave," I confirmed. "I took a picture of the plane when I left that too. These things – these places, sheltered us, and kept us safe while we slept. I want to remember them. Even if we don't make it, someday someone may find this camera, and I want the pictures on here to tell our story."

Edward didn't respond, but he didn't seem to mind waiting the extra couple minutes it took either. I decided to take his patience as understanding, and I appreciated it.

After I got the shots I wanted, we continued on our way – whichever way that was. We had no idea the direction we should be moving in, so all we could do was keep moving forward, and hope for the best.

We walked as far as we could until my throbbing leg refused to allow me to go any further. We found a boulder to rest on, and then after a little break, we walked some more. It continued like that for the entire day. Endless walking. As evening approached, we hoped to get lucky again by stumbling across another cave for the night, but the darker it got, the more disheartened we felt.

"I don't know how much further I can go right now," I said, gasping for air, and feeling like I'd rather cut off my injured leg than take one more step on it.

Edward stopped walking, and settled for just scanning our surroundings for any type of shelter we could possibly get.

"What about a snow bunker?" he asked me. "I can dig it if you just tell me what to do."

I sat down against a tree, and analyzed the snow beneath my hands. It was hard icy snow, and I knew it probably wouldn't work, but we had to at least try.

After an hour or so of digging with no prevail, exhaustion overtook him, and he came to rest next to me.

"The branches above will shield us a little. I'm sorry, I think we're going to have to suffer through the night like this."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I was so sure we'd find shelter. How can we survive this all night? It's too cold."

"I'm going to try to get a fire going. If we take shifts tending it, we might just make it through."

I nodded with the last flicker of hope that I could muster. Edward was right, we just needed to somehow keep a fire burning. Working together by taking shifts might just be enough.

Edward somehow found enough reserved energy within himself to get back up off the ground, and collect some wood. Much of what he found was too wet to ignite, but no matter how tired he got, he just continued to push through until he found enough usable lumber to last us through the night. I wasn't sure if he was being driven by an unyielding will to live, or if he was just too damn stubborn to give up, but either way, I was so incredibly grateful for him, and utterly amazed by his perseverance.

With the fire finally burning, Edward told me to try to relax and get some sleep.

"I'll take the first watch," he said compassionately.

"You just did all that work to find the wood and build the fire. You should sleep first," I insisted.

"You're still hurt. You need sleep to keep healing," he argued.

"Edward, please. I can't do much else to contribute. Let me watch the fire for a bit."

"You'll wake me the moment you feel yourself getting too tired?" he questioned.

"I promise," I said with a nod.

He sighed, but then reluctantly agreed. I was tired, but I knew he had to be even more so with everything he had been doing, so it was important for me to let him sleep first. It was the least I could do for all the times he had saved me.

It took a while, but eventually I could tell Edward was finally sleeping by his slow steady breaths. Not quite a snore, but a low rumble, and an occasional quiet whistle from his nose. The noises were actually soothing somehow, and I found myself being lulled to a near sleep far too soon. It was difficult to keep track of time out there, but I knew it had been less than an hour, so I did my best to fight off unconsciousness with everything I had left in me.

I threw another branch on the fire, and moved it around with a stick to allow the air to build the flames, and then my mind undesirably refocused on Edward's quiet breathing. His face was resting somewhere between relaxation and tension, and I found myself utterly fascinated by the unique complexity of his features.

The straightness of his nose, heavy brow, and defined cheek bones almost looked like a sketching done by some famous artist. Even hidden under the shadow of a heavy stubble, it was clear that the angle of his jawline looked like it was pulled right off a Greek statue, and I had the disturbing desire to rub my hand over his scruff to see if it was as soft as it looked. His face was far more interesting than the everyday suave good looks I initially thought him to have. As a photographer, I had seen so many faces, and if I was being honest, I'd say Edward had one of the most strikingly beautiful faces I had ever seen. Like any fine art, I could probably stare at him for hours, and never get bored. He was an absolute masterpiece.

Not only was he incredibly good looking, but he was clearly smart, and being a doctor meant he was rich too, with a beautiful wife to boot. It was no wonder he was so pompous a great deal of the time. He sure did seem to have it all.

Of course, being in that situation was proof that having all the smarts, and looks, and money couldn't save you from everything. In that instance, none of that other stuff mattered, and I finally understood what he was trying to tell me before. Who we were before stepping onto that doomed plane was inconsequential. None of it would help us in our current predicament. All we could do was find a way to save ourselves by saving each other. Nobody else in the world mattered unless we somehow managed to find our way home. Until then, there was only me, and there was only him… and Jake, of course.

As I pondered my strange new sense of reality, I lost complete track of estimated time _. Had it been two hours, or four?_

I looked back over at Edward beside me, and I struggled with the idea of waking him. He needed that sleep to recharge, and I hated the feeling of selfishly interrupting that, just so I could get some sleep as well. He had basically been taking care of me the entire time we were together, and I wanted nothing more than to allow him as much rest as he could possibly get.

I stoked the fire once more, and then I reclined back against the tree next to him, hoping to just relax enough to get some rest without actually falling asleep. I closed my eyes briefly, but then…

"Bella, get up!" Edward yelled, trying to break through my groggy disoriented state.

Before I even had a chance to comprehend what was happening, I was being jerked up to a standing position forcefully. My eyes adjusted to the scene before me, and my heart nearly jumped into my throat. Jake was having yet another standoff with an angry wolf, while the rest of the pack seemed to be running amuck behind them.

"Where's the flare?" I asked in a panic.

"Over there!" Edward shouted angrily while pointing to the mess scattered amongst the wolves.

"They took your backpack?" I cried.

"They must have smelled the meat," he said bitterly. "At least its keeping them occupied for a few moments. We need to get out of here before they get bored."

"What about Jake?" I asked concerned as he kept snarling and snapping at the wolf he was facing.

"He's holding that one back. It's the only wolf that's even remotely interested in us. The others just want our food. We need to go while we can."

"But…"

Edward grabbed my arm, and started pulling me back without even giving me the opportunity to argue with him. I absolutely hated doing it, but with no weapons or ways to defend ourselves, we had to leave Jake there if we even had the hope of escaping the pack with our lives.

It was gut-wrenching, and each step away from him was even more agonizing than the physical pain of my injured leg. He would be butchered by those wolves, and we had no way of helping him.

Ten minutes or so later, we finally slowed enough to speak. "Edward, we have to go back," I said, trying to catch my breath.

"Go back? For what?" he spat.

"For Jake!"

"You're nuts. There's no way we are going back for the damn dog!"

"That _damn dog_ saved my life more than once! We can't just leave him to be killed."

"Listen to me, I know he saved you. It sucks okay, but going back will only get us killed with him. We can't save him. And what the hell happened back there anyway? Why didn't you wake me up? The fire was out!"

"I must have fallen asleep. I didn't mean to…"

"Yeah, well you did," he cut me off harshly. "Not only could we have froze to death, but that fire would have kept the wolves away. Jake would still be here if you would have just done your job, and woke me up before falling asleep. We lost the dog, and my entire backpack. The food, the pot, the flare gun, the lighters. Damn it, Bella!"

It was absolutely devastating, and Edward was right - it was entirely my fault. How could I have been that stupid?

The guilt I felt was overwhelming. It was hard not to just fall to the ground and give up after making such a monumental mistake. I cost poor Jake his life, and I probably cost us ours as well. I had a lighter in my backpack, but it didn't have much fluid in it, and I knew it wouldn't last us long. We didn't even have the last flare as a backup anymore. If the wolves attacked again, and they would attack again, we lost our only defense. Never mind the minute possibility of a plane flying overhead. Without that flare, we were probably lost for good. I never hated anyone as much as I hated myself in that moment, and I would understand completely if Edward never forgave me. Hell, I knew I would never forgive me.

Edward sighed. "Everyone makes mistakes," he said, surprisingly gentle. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that."

"No, you're right," I said with tears stinging my cheeks. "I'm such an idiot. I knew I was getting tired, but I was just trying to give you a little more time. I even remember feeling my eyes close, and I seriously thought I could just rest like that for a couple minutes. I'm so sorry."

"What's done is done. No sense in dwelling on it," he murmured. "We just need to keep moving. Those wolves may still be following us."

My heart sank even lower in my gut. "Edward, what are we going to do without the flare gun? Jake is gone, we have no way to defend ourselves. We're basically sitting ducks here."

Edward was quiet for a moment, and then he nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" I said confused. "Okay what?"

"Okay I think you're right," he said slowly.

"Right about what?" I asked perplexed. _What exactly did he think I was suggesting?_

"You're trying to convince me to go back, right?" he asked, suddenly unsure as well.

"Um… I was, but… What? You're actually agreeing to go back for Jake?" I asked confused.

"Look, Jake is probably gone by now. I don't think there's much we can do for him. If he is still alive, then his wounds are probably far more extensive than I can help with out here. But, hopefully the wolves have gone by now, and we can retrieve some of our stuff. The flare gun, at least."

I nodded. "But what if the wolves are still there? If they attack us…"

"Then they're going to attack us anyway. Best to just get it over with, right? You still have a knife in your pack?"

I nodded.

"Get it out. You'll be able to defend yourself a little."

I nodded again. "What about you?"

He smirked. "I took kickboxing for like six months. I'm my own deadly weapon."

I couldn't believe he was joking at a time like this, but I cracked a smile regardless.

Once I had the knife in my hand, we slowly made our way back to our last camp. Everything that had gone wrong with that trip from the very start had been my fault. Everything. It was even my fault that we got on that doomed plane to begin with. And there I was, about to get us killed too. Edward was going along with it, but it was initially my idea, and knowing that pretty much sucked.

We walked quietly as possible as we approached the area, but then…

"Jake!" I shouted as the happy dog ran right up to us, and jumped up to hug me. "Oh my, you look….absolutely fine," I said in shock as I rubbed my hands down the length of his body.

"What the hell kind of dog is he?" I heard Edward mumble. "He's like Lassie and Old Yeller combined."

"Did you scare those big bad wolves away?" I cooed into his adorable doggy face. "Maybe they were all female wolves, and he just charmed them into submission," I joked.

After Jake licked my cheek, he got down and went to Edward.

"No," Edward said as he jumped on him, but his resistance was futile. Jake wasn't going to give up until he licked his face as well. "Thanks," Edward grumbled as he wiped the doggy slobbers off his chin.

I was so unbelievably grateful Jake was okay, but he wasn't our only reason for being back there.

Edward and I both looked around cautiously, before finally stepping back into the spot where his backpack contents were dispersed. We didn't see any sign of the wolves remaining, so we began collecting what we could.

"Here's the flare gun," I announced. Luckily it was still in the box, fully intact.

"The actual backpack is torn to shreds," Edward said while holding up a few of the pieces. "And the food I had in here is all gone. Do you see my knife anywhere?"

"No, but here's one of the lighters!" I said with a level of excitement I wasn't expecting.

"Good. Let's keep looking for the other one."

It took us a while, but eventually we found the second lighter, and the small pot, but we were never able to recover Harry's hunting knife that he had brought.

"Great. Somewhere close by is a wolf with a knife," Edward joked, but kept his tone serious.

"At least we still have the one I brought," I said with a heavy sigh.

When we collected everything usable that we could find, Edward did his best to pack it all in my backpack, and what wouldn't fit, he made strips from scraps of his backpack, and was able to tie it all to the pack.

"Here, let me carry it," he insisted as he tried to take the heavy pack off my back.

"No, its fine," I said stubbornly. "I'm fully capable of…

"This isn't some female empowerment thing," he said frustrated. "I know you're capable of carrying it, but the fact is that I'm physically stronger than you, and you're hurt. You could move much easier without the added weight. Please let me carry it."

I nodded. "Okay. Thank you," I said sincerely.

When the pack was securely on Edward's back, we continued on our arduous journey, still having no idea which way we were going. At that point, as long as the wolves stayed away, I'd say we were moving in the right direction. Of course, with the way things were going, those damn wolves would follow us to the ends of the world. I only hoped we'd somehow manage to keep escaping them...


	8. Boxes

**Chapter 8 – Boxes**

The days stretched on, and the nights were far too long. Despite it all, somehow we kept surviving. Brutal day, after brutal day. Excruciating night, after excruciating night.

"It doesn't even really feel all that cold anymore," I said to Edward one morning as we were getting ready for that day's worth of torturous walking. "Maybe I'm just losing all sensation in my body."

He bent down in front of me, and lifted up my pant leg to expose my skin. Then he poked there with his finger.

"Your blood circulation seems to be okay. No severe frostbite that I can see. You're probably just acclimating to the cold. I think I am too. It's our body's way of protecting us."

"Really? Well, that's good. I mean, I still don't want to go walking around in a t-shirt out here, but I'm glad it's not so unbearable anymore."

"Well, it's going to start getting unbearable real soon. Today will be the first day we don't have any type of nourishment whatsoever."

"Are you sure there aren't any more pork rinds in the bottom of the bag? Some crumbs even?"

"I emptied the entire thing out," he assured me. "We ate the last few yesterday. Damn it! I just can't get over how pissed I still am that those fucking wolves took all the food I was carrying in my pack. I mean, I'm grateful they didn't get to the snacks in your pack, which has allowed us to get this far, but we would still have rations left today if it wasn't for those mangy mutts!"

"We would still have the food from your pack if I didn't let that fire die out," I corrected him, full of self-loathing.

It had been days, probably over a week, since it happened, and I still carried so much guilt. There was no sense in being angry at some wild animals for taking advantage of my stupidity. It was my fault, and I had to live with it. I was only grateful we managed to survive my horrible mistake this long.

Since that last confrontation with the wolves, we had somehow been able to evade them, and we settled into an extremely exhausting routine of successfully taking shifts tending the fire each night. I had learned my lesson the first time, and I managed to keep my eyes wide open while Edward took his turns sleeping. I hadn't fallen asleep on the job again, but each night just got increasingly more difficult the weaker I became. Everything about being out there was difficult. Every night, every step, every breath. It was a constant struggle just to find the will to go on. With the last remaining bits of food gone, it seemed things were just going to get impossibly harder.

"How long can we last without food?" I asked concerned.

"It's the rule of three. Three minutes without air, three days without water, and three weeks without food."

I nodded. "Three weeks. We can get pretty far in three weeks, right? Maybe even make it to some kind of man-made…something."

Edward raised his shoulders. "Maybe. But we are at a serious disadvantage here, because we've already been going for a while with only a few bites at a time. We've already lost a lot of weight, so I'm not sure how much longer we can go on like this. Especially with the amount of calories we burn by walking in the snow all day."

"Maybe we should take it slower?" I suggested.

"Bottom line is we need to get some sustenance. If we could just hunt for some kind of small animal, or something."

Edward looked down at Jake, and I immediately went into protection mode.

"We are not eating Jake!" I said sternly.

He scowled. "I wasn't thinking that. But he's a carnivorous animal, I just wish he'd go hunt something. A rabbit. Hell, I'd even be happy with a rat. Just something."

As if in cue, Jake's head perked up, so Edward and I both turned in the direction he was looking.

"A moose!" I nearly shouted.

"Oh no," Edward said, quickly grabbing Jake's collar to restrain him. "That is not the kind of hunting I was talking about."

"Why not? People eat moose all the time, don't they?" I asked confused. "We have a knife."

"Yeah, people eat moose, when they hunt them with rifles. There is no way we can even get close enough to stab that thing before it impales us with its antlers, or stomps us to death with its killer hooves."

"What if we attached the knife to a long stick and made a spear, or something?"

Edward shook his head no. "We wouldn't be able to stay at a safe distance and still throw it hard enough to kill it. It would just get angry and turn on us, and that's a fight we certainly can't win."

Jake didn't share Edward's concerns. He started barking, and tried to get free from his hold on him.

"Dude, that thing will kill you," Edward tried calming him. "I swear, this dog has a death wish."

"Hey, he's managed to survive this long."

"It's a miracle. Jake, stay!" Edward commanded. When he didn't obey, Edward looked to me for help. "Do we have anything we can use as a leash?"

"I don't think so," I said as I looked through the backpack where it rested, still on his shoulders. "Oh wait. Maybe this will work," I said as I pulled out my camera and unfastened the strap.

"Perfect."

I hooked Jake up to the makeshift leash, and since my camera was already out, I just couldn't pass up that opportunity.

"You're taking a picture of the moose?" Edward asked with an annoyed undertone.

"It's so beautiful, isn't it?"

"You know, I have some family who live in Alaska, and my uncle was telling me that the animal that kills the most people every year, is not the wolf or bear, it's the damn moose."

I giggled. "What? They're like big deer."

"No, they're seriously vicious. Especially during mating season. Moose and squirrels – the two most underrated deadly creatures."

"Squirrels?" I spat, finding his little rant far more amusing than I would have expected.

"Yes! Those things are little monsters from hell."

"And how many people have been killed by squirrels?" I challenged him.

"None… that I know of, but I saw a documentary on them once, and they're horrible creatures. I wouldn't mind finding a few of them to butcher. A few less of those devil animals to terrorize the planet could only be a good thing."

I laughed again. "So, you're afraid of heights, confined spaces, and squirrels?"

"I'm not ashamed of my shortcomings," he deadpanned.

"Well, that's an honorable trait. Good for you."

He finally cracked a smile back at me, and then jerked his head to the side. "Let's get moving again."

"That's a good idea. If we stand still under these trees for too long, a squirrel might leap down and attack us," I teased him.

He smiled bigger, but tried to fight it off. "You can laugh now, but just wait until that fateful day when you see those little terrors in action."

"I have seen them. Seattle has an expansive squirrel population. They're adorable. I just love their fluffy tails. But I can see how you could be right about them being mean. I did see one steal someone's walnut out of their salad during a picnic once."

"Ah, walnuts sound so good right now, don't they?" Edward asked, as if he was suddenly lost in a vivid daydream. "Walnuts on a salad… No, walnuts in chocolate cake!"

I giggled.

We walked some more, but then I started thinking about what food I was craving. "I just want a cheeseburger. A huge, thick burger, with crunchy strips of bacon, stuck in the gooey, melty cheese. Oh, I want one so bad!"

Edward chuckled. "You don't strike me as a burger type of girl."

I smiled, amused by his presumption. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Hippy bohemian animal lover, who spends all her time taking pictures of nature."

"A hippy bohemian?" I asked, before laughing so hard that tears rolled down my face.

"Well, aren't you?" he questioned carefully. It was clear that he was unsure if I was actually finding humor in his words, or just going stark raving mad. In reality, it was probably a little bit of both.

"I'm sorry, no. My best friend, Alice, is a complete bohemian chic kind of girl, but no matter how hard she tried, I'd never go along with her style of clothing or her philosophy in life. It's just so funny that you would think that way of me, when I've always been the exact opposite."

"So you're a conformist?" Edward questioned.

I smiled, and then honestly tried to analyze myself to give him a proper answer. "No, not exactly. Well, maybe I was for a long time. I worked the nine to five job, stuck behind a desk and all that, but I hated it. Now I'm taking pictures full time, but I struggle with the lack of consistency in my work schedule. I don't know, I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm artsy, but I like to blend in. I claim to be independent, but really, I hate being alone." I shrugged. "I am an animal lover, but I do love eating meat," I added with another giggle.

"Well, it's good that you don't fit into a particular box," he told me. "Keeps things interesting."

"And what about you? Do you fit into any boxes?" I asked, but then I mentally kicked myself. I had promised that I wouldn't ask him anymore personal questions, and here I was, breaking that promise. I seemed to be addicted to being nosey. It really wasn't my intention. I didn't want to make him upset or uncomfortable again.

Thankfully, for the first time, he didn't rebuff my personal question, but he did sigh. "I guess I do fit into a particular box."

We walked a ways more in silence, and just when I thought he wasn't going to elaborate on that box of his, he took a deep breath.

"My sister, Bree, died when she was ten, of a neurological disorder… I was thirteen. It took a terrible toll on my entire family. So, I guess I fit into the box of a bereaved kid, who grew up to become a doctor, hoping to make it so no other family ever has to go through that kind of loss again."

My stomach dropped.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry," I said, feeling an overwhelmingly heavy wave of guilt for all the negative thoughts I ever had towards him. No wonder he seemed so closed off when talking about his patients. He knew first hand what it was like to lose a child close to him. I couldn't imagine anything more tragic than that.

"I didn't tell you that so you'd feel sorry for me, I just… actually, I have no idea why I told you that. I don't talk about my sister much. I think I've only told Kate a few things over the years… But, the idea of fitting into a particular type of box makes sense to me. It seems all the doctors I know are either just after a paycheck, or their parents pushed them into the field, or they're like me, and had some type of medical tragedy in their family background. It's all kind of… cliché, isn't it? I mean, I became a doctor hoping to save kid's lives, but really, how much of a difference have I made? I've just subjected myself to so many more deaths than anyone should ever have to see in a lifetime. It certainly doesn't make me want kids of my own."

"Is that why you have issues with faith?" I questioned gently.

He grimaced. "I just don't understand it. Too many innocent kids never get a chance to live. It pisses me off. I don't know, maybe all this hunger is going to my head a bit. I shouldn't be talking about any of this crap."

"Look, I promised I wouldn't push you to open up again, and I still mean that, but the truth is we may die up here, and never see another human being for the rest of our lives. So, if there's anything you ever feel like getting off your chest, I may be the only choice of confidant you'll ever have again."

He nodded, and then shrugged. "Well, I could always talk to Jake. He's a really good listener."

I snickered. "Shows what you know. He is a horrible listener. He always wants to be the one talking, and he has an extremely short attention span."

To prove my point, Jake tugged on his leash, and barked again at something else in the distance.

We both laughed.

"Maybe we should just let him go," I said as Edward had to practically drag Jake behind us as we continued to walk.

"No way. If he gets injured, you'll get upset, and then I'll feel guilty. Neither of us need that… Then again, if he dies…"

"Still not eating him," I maintained.

Edward chuckled.

We got several more yards, but then Jake's tireless pulling somehow allowed him to wiggle right out of his collar.

"Shit!" Edward shouted as we both watched Jake take off like a bullet out of a gun.

"Some animals just can't be chained," I said with a mix of amusement and anxiety. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know. I just hope he didn't go back after that moose."

"Jake!" I called. "Come here, boy!"

We kept calling him, and calling him, but there was so sign of him anywhere. We waited there for what felt like hours, but then the snow started falling again.

"Let's just stay right here tonight. Wait for him to come back."

It wasn't even close to dark yet, but it would be all too soon, and we were both already spent, so I nodded with agreement. We began looking around for usable sticks and logs for a fire, but everything was, once again, soaked.

"Nothing is lighting," Edward said, becoming increasingly discouraged as his attempts to start a fire kept failing.

I tried to help, but I didn't have any better luck. We looked around for some kind of shelter, but we couldn't find anything.

It was our most dire situation yet. Not only was Jake missing again, but it was snowing pretty hard, we had no shelter, we were weak with malnourishment, and we couldn't get a fire going to save our lives.

"What do we do?" I asked concerned.

"I don't know," Edward reluctantly admitted. I knew how much he hated feeling helpless, but it seemed like there wasn't anything we could do.

If it got too much colder, and we couldn't start a fire, we weren't going to survive the night. It was the first time when I truly saw no hope for us, and I was scared.

Without thinking, I found myself turning towards Edward, and just holding on to him as the snow continued to beat down on our faces. I squeezed his body, and was so incredibly grateful when I felt his arms wrap around me in return. If that was truly going to be our last night on the planet, I just desperately needed to be held one more time, and thankfully, he gave me that kindness.

I didn't know how long we held each other like that, but it seemed the frozen wilderness wasn't done messing with us just yet.

"Do you hear that?" Edward mumbled.

I wasn't sure if my mouth was even capable of moving with it being that frozen, but I tried anyway.

"What is it?"

"I think it's Jake barking."

"Where?" I asked, as I pulled away from his embrace just enough to look around us.

"I don't know. Maybe we should go look for him."

As much as I loved that dog, I couldn't imagine taking one more step at the moment. Whatever acclimation to the cold nonsense I had felt before, was long gone by that point. I honestly thought my internal organs were beginning to solidify like meat in a freezer.

"I can't move."

Jake's incessant barking in the distance didn't slow, so Edward got antsy. "He could be caught somewhere. Let's go try to find him. At least it will get us moving again. Maybe we will find some better wood to burn along the way."

I let Edward pull me, but I couldn't really feel myself move. We followed the sound of the barks, but when we finally found him, we were baffled.

"What is it, boy?" I asked.

Jake wasn't caught anywhere, or appeared hurt in any way. He was just standing there, wagging his tail and barking at us, as if he had some happy secret.

"Maybe he sees a squirrel," I said while trying to look up through the falling snow at the tree above us.

"I don't think so," Edward replied. "He's got that look on his face… that look like he's thinking we're just a couple of dumb humans."

When we continued to stand there, just staring at him like idiots, Jake had enough. He grabbed ahold of his collar out of Edward's pocket, and then turned around himself, and started running away again. When we still didn't follow, he turned back and barked at us one more time.

"He wants us to go with him," I concluded.

"Bella, this isn't some genius super dog movie. There's no way he's actually trying to communicate on that level."

Except, that's exactly what he seemed to be doing. "We really should follow him."

Edward shrugged. "Well, it'll at least keep us moving."

We followed him through a particular set of trees, and then I gasped at the sudden drop in front of us. I hadn't even realized we were that high up until that moment.

"Well, that is a nice view," Edward said, still perplexed as to why Jake was so eager to bring us there.

Jake didn't stop before the drop, he continued slowly, descending down a narrow path, and then we finally saw why.

From where we were, looking down into the valley below us, we could see what appeared to be a small box – a small box, that under closer inspection, I realized was actually a structure.

"Oh, my god!" I cried, sure I had to have been seeing it wrong. Surely my eyes were playing a trick on me. Surely we weren't that lucky. However, as my eyes focused on the unbelievable sight below us, I had no choice but to believe it. "It's a house!"

...


	9. Warmth

**Chapter 9 – Warmth**

"Hello! Can someone help us?" I shouted down towards the house below.

"Bella, it's too far. We have to go down there," Edward told me.

"Voices can sometimes carry," I disagreed. "Please! We need help!"

"Bella, stop," Edward insisted. "Look, there aren't any signs of people down there. No cars, no tracks, nothing."

"It's a house, Edward. The people are probably just inside, and we're up too far to see any tracks. Besides, its snowing; any tracks would be covered right now."

"Either way, we certainly can't be heard by shouting from this height. Let's try to find a way down there," he suggested.

"Jake already found a way. Let's just follow him," I said eagerly. We were so close to being rescued that I could almost smell the hot coffee waiting for us. We could be in the warmth of a hotel that night, and on a plane back to Seattle first thing in the morning. Even if we had to spend the night in a hospital first, all that really mattered was knowing we were going home.

"But he's a dog," Edward pointed out. "Dogs can hike up and down places we can't. That path is too steep and narrow. I don't even think I can make it down, so there's no way you can do it with your injured leg."

I considered what he was saying, and unfortunately, I realized he was probably right. It was a very narrow path, and there were parts of it that looked straight down. I wouldn't be able to do it, so we just needed a different route.

"Let's go back through the trees and try to find a way around this cliff," I suggested, and Edward agreed, so we didn't waste a moment.

We hiked downward for what felt like hours, but in the frozen forest, everything looked the same. It was easy to lose your way, and that's what it felt like we were doing. The sky darkened, and we were just getting increasingly frustrated. Knowing that house was around there somewhere was the most difficult part. Freezing to death that night, when we were so close to being rescued, would seriously be a horrific and idiotic tragedy.

Just when fatigue was threatening to win the battle, we finally, miraculously, managed to find our way to a clearing – a clearing that contained a small structure.

"There's the house!" I cried with relief. However, the closer we got, that relief began to fade the way twilight inevitably faded into darkness. "It's an old decrepit shack," I said, feeling absolutely gutted inside. "No one is here. We aren't any closer to going home."

Edward sighed as he inspected the rusted lock on the door. "It doesn't look like anyone has been here in a while. I'm going to walk around it to see if there's any other way we can get inside. If nothing else, hopefully we can get out of the snow for the night."

I nodded, but it took everything inside of me not to get completely lost into the endless depths of despairing disappointment. I honestly thought that we were about to be rescued. It was such a stupid, foolish mistake. Hope, was a beautiful thing, but having a surge of hope, only to be beaten down this way was beyond devastating, and I knew that devastation was going to be hard to overcome.

"I couldn't find another way in, but I did find this," Edward said as he held up an axe.

"Well, that's good. We can cut some logs to make a fire," I said, trying to sound encouraging, but I knew I wasn't fooling him.

Edward didn't comment on my sudden depressing tone, for which I was grateful. If we were to actually discuss it at all, I'd be reduced to one big ball of blubbering mess in the snow, and I was trying like hell to keep it together at the moment. We weren't going home tonight, but we still needed to try to survive, so I had to reach deep within myself to keep it together.

"I'm not going to use this axe to cut wood - there's a huge pile of stacked logs around back. I'm going to use it to break this lock," he told me.

"Oh… Will that work?"

"We're about to find out," he replied. Then he lifted the axe over his head, and swung it hard. It didn't work, but Edward didn't give up. It took two more shots, and then… "Yes!" he cheered.

As disappointed as I was that we weren't going home just yet, I couldn't help but be proud of his small, but monumental, accomplishment. Regardless of anything else, at least we would be able to get out of the snow, and that was definitely something to celebrate. We would survive the night, and in that situation, surviving the night was the only victory we could ask for. It was always one night at a time. We would worry about tomorrow in the morning.

With the lock broken, Edward opened the door slowly, and clicked on his flashlight so we could see inside the dark space.

"It looks like it was a cabin, of some sort," Edward said as he looked around. "No electricity or running water," he noticed. "It's not any warmer inside here either, but at least its dry. Hey, there's a fireplace! If I can get a fire going, it should warm up in here pretty quickly."

"That would be amazing," I said sincerely. Even with all the previous fires we managed to build, we had yet to actually feel truly warm since the airplane fell out of the sky. If nothing else, heating that cabin would be one more small victory – a small but heavenly victory, and I found myself silently praying.

 _God, please let Edward get this fire going. I'll never ask for anything else again._

I just desperately yearned to feel warm one more time, and I swore I could die happy after that. Just one more moment of feeling mildly comfortable. That was all I could hope for anymore.

"What are you doing?" I questioned when Edward took the lighter from his backpack, and just flicked it on while holding it inside the fireplace.

"We need to make sure nothing is blocking the flue, otherwise a fire in here will just kill us from the carbon monoxide."

My stomach dropped. Even with a roof over our heads and a fireplace, we may not find the warmth we needed. Thankfully, those fears were unfounded.

"It looks good. I'm going to go grab some of those logs outside. Hopefully they're dry enough to burn. Why don't you just sit on that chair right there and wait for me," he said before disappearing out the door.

As much as I wanted to help, it was just too dark inside the cold drafty cabin to see anything without Edward's flashlight. So I did as he instructed, and sat on the dusty chair and continued to pray there wouldn't be any issues getting the fire going.

When Edward came back with his arms full of logs, I was in serious danger of falling for a spark of unsteady hope once more. When he managed to actually light a fire, and its flames sent waves of heat towards my body, I let all my inhibitions go and just basked in the heavenly glow of that amazing feeling.

"I think that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I said emotionally while staring into the fireplace.

"Its only been going for a minute, and this entire place already feels warmer, doesn't it?" Edward asked with a level of enthusiasm that I had not heard from him before. The tone he was using behind his words almost sounded like music. It was such a relief from the strain and stress he usually spoke with, and I found myself smiling at him.

"It feels incredible," I agreed wholeheartedly. "I swear I can feel my insides defrosting by the second."

Jake was enjoying the warmth as well. He found himself a spot right in front of the fire, and curled up before falling fast asleep.

"Wow, that didn't take long," I commented on Jake's near instant slumber.

"Yeah, well he certainly deserves a rest after finding this place for us," Edward said softly.

"I couldn't agree more. I bet you're sure glad we didn't eat him now, aren't you?" I teased him.

Edward conceded with a nod. "Okay, you were right about him. As far as dogs go, he's a pretty good one."

"Pretty good?" I spat. "He's like a super genius, guardian angel, dog. We would be dead by now if it wasn't for him."

"Look, I said he was pretty good, don't push it with all that mumbo jumbo. He's still just a dog."

"A dog that lead us to shelter, right when we needed it the most," I argued.

"Nah, he probably just smelled something in here that he wanted, and used us to help him get in."

I smiled, and just shook my head at him. There was no convincing anyone of something they refused to believe, so there was no point in trying. I, myself, firmly believed that Jake was either an angel, or being guided by one. Perhaps my dad was helping us by going through him. We'd never know for sure, but the thought of it definitely brought me a level of comfort that I was grateful to have.

With the fire illuminating the cabin, and the warmth defrosting our frozen limbs, we were able to look around the small space we were currently calling home. It was absolutely tiny inside, but that just meant the fire was able to warm it quicker. There was a chair, a dusty old couch that looked like it might pull out to a bed, a table, and a big livestock water trough.

"This is kind of odd to have in here," I said to Edward while running my finger along the dusty rim of the trough.

Edward shrugged. "Maybe it's for bathing."

"But there's no running water," I pointed out.

Edward smirked. "They never had running water back in the day. They probably filled it with buckets from a stream, or heated snow on the fire. See the pots," he said while pointing to the giant pot besides the fireplace.

"Oh. Seems it would get cold before you could fill the entire thing."

Edward nodded. "I doubt baths back then were anything close to being as relaxing as chicks like their foo-foo baths now. They were designed just to get clean and get out."

I nodded in understanding, and then something caught my eye. "Hey, what's in that door?"

Edward turned around to see what I was talking about, and then he reached for the handle and opened it. "Wow."

"What is it?" I asked impatiently as I got my ass off the chair so I could see for myself what he was seeing. "Whoa," I said, agreeing with Edward's reaction.

It was a closet, and a rather big one at that. In fact, that closet was almost half the size of the rest of the cabin. But the size of it was only the beginning of our astonishment. Inside was not only blankets, and extra jackets, and hats, but also fishing equipment, pots and and other supplies to cook with, a bunch of books, a guitar, and the best thing imaginable – rows and rows of stacked canned food.

"Please tell me there's a can opener in here somewhere," I mumbled absently.

"If there isn't, I'm going to pry them open with my teeth," Edward replied evenly.

He immediately started digging through the cooking supplies, and easily found the opener. He grabbed the first can he got his hands on, and started opening it.

"Wait. How long do you think these have been here for? I mean, they could be expired and make us sick," I said warily.

As hungry as I was, I knew eating rotten food would just make everything infinitely worse.

However, it seemed luck was finally on our side. Edward was able to find the expiration date on the can he was holding, and it wasn't for another year.

We didn't even bother looking for bowls, or waste time heating the contents of the can over the fire. We just took turns scoping what had to be soup of some kind, out of the can with our fingers. Under normal circumstances, I probably would have thought it tasted horrible, but at the moment, the chunks of processed meat and mushy veggies were pure heaven.

"Why are we even sharing this? Let's open another one," I suggested after a minute of sloppy eating.

"But… maybe we should still be rationing," Edward said hesitantly. "I mean, it looks like there's a lot here, but… we may need it to last us. Who knows how long we will be stuck here."

"So… you think we should stay for a while?" I questioned slowly as I considered exactly what he was saying. I had just assumed we were there for the night, but…

"Bella, think about it. This place has been empty for awhile, but not so long that the food has expired. Someone will come back here eventually, and if they don't, then maybe we just try to hold out until some of the snow melts. There has to be a road leading here, right? Even just a dirt road. If we wait until the snow is melted enough to see it, we can follow it to a town, or wherever the hell it leads."

"It could be months before the snow melts," I said quietly.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, but we can survive here that long if we ration out the food. It beats setting out there again right now," he pointed out the door. "If we didn't find this place when we did, we would have died tonight. I really believe that. How much longer can we walk before we're back in the same dire situation. We have a better chance if we stay here."

"But what if the snow doesn't melt in a few months?" I questioned. "There are places in these mountains that have snow year-round."

Edward was quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Even if the snow doesn't melt, we will still have a better chance of making it home if we wait a while. Get our strength back. Maybe a rescue team will even find the plane, and guesstimate which way we went. They may possibly find us here. Any way you look at it, I really think it's best to stay right where we are for now."

It was the same argument we had been having since we first crashed. He was a firm believer in hunkering down and staying put, and up until that point, I disagreed. He had always reluctantly gone along with my opinion on the matter, however this time was different. This time I finally agreed with him.

I hated the idea of not fighting to save our own lives, but I supposed we would still continue to do that, even while staying there. We still needed to survive one day at a time, only now, it would be just a little more bearable. It would certainly be a long few months if we weren't found sooner.

However, as the fire warmed the room to a tolerable temperature, I was able to take off my scarf and jacket for the first time since crashing, and I knew we were making the right decision to stay.

We opened Jake his very own can of food, and we got ready for bed. Edward and I both grabbed an end of the sofa bed, and pulled it out. We worked together to make it with every last blanket in the closet. We wanted to soak in all the warmth we could possibly get. Then, without even having to discuss it, we automatically climbed into the small lumpy bed, and just relaxed together while silently watching the fire.

Like all the other times we were that close, our pinkies intertwined under the covers, and we drifted off to sleep…


	10. Recoup

**Chapter 10 – Recoup**

Waking up in a strange place with a stranger should have been alarming to me, but that semi-warm night, on that horribly lumpy sofa bed, had to have been one of the best nights sleep of my life. After so many terrible torturous nights in the frozen wilderness, sleeping inside that cabin, in front of the fireplace, was utter nirvana. As far as waking up with a stranger went, Edward was certainly no longer a stranger. Agreeing to stay at that isolated cabin together indefinitely made something click with us. Suddenly I felt extremely close to him. Closer than friends even. We were like two soldiers who had gone to war together. Even if we were rescued tomorrow, I knew we would always be close. We were bonded for life, and he truly felt like family to me.

"The fire is out," I mumbled lazily, still not wanting to move, despite the morning sun shooting beams through the cracks in the boarded up window. Dust danced in the light like fluttering sparkles, and for a moment, it almost felt like we found ourselves in some otherworldly dimension. The entire thing seemed surreal after being out in the freezing elements for so long.

"Are you cold?" Edward questioned softly, without even bothering to open his eyes.

I sunk further beneath the mountain of blankets on top of us, and then shook my head. "Surprisingly, no. Shouldn't it be colder in here without the fire going?"

Edward finally opened his eyes, and for the first time, I noticed the brilliant shade of green they were. I had never seen irises that color before, and I found myself momentarily lost in them.

"Well, I was hoping this place would stay insulated enough without one of us tending to the fire all night. I think it worked okay. As long as we have all these blankets, I think we can both get full nights sleep in here."

"Thank god for that. I can't even tell you how good it feels to be able to sleep an entire night."

"Trust me, I know," he agreed with a grin.

I smiled back at him, and then looked around the cabin again. "It's still so dark in here. I wish there was a way to brighten it up a little."

"Well, it looks like they boarded up the windows because they weren't planning to be back for a while, but maybe I can take the boards down," Edward suggested.

"That would be great."

Edward didn't move for another twenty minutes or so, and then he let out a long breath, before finally rolling out of bed.

"You don't have to get up. Just stay in bed and relax," I told him.

"I would love to… but I have to pee," he said with a smirk, before opening the cabin door. Jake jumped up to go out with him, and the two of them left me inside alone.

I sat up and stretched, but remained on the bed and just looked around our new, hopefully temporary, home. It looked like an old eighteen hundreds cottage, but there were also some more modern touches, like the dust covered singing fish mounted to the wall above the doorway. The sofa bed I was currently sitting on was also old, but more like nineteen eighties old.

"Well, I have some good news," Edward said as he came back into the cabin. The weird look on his face made me wary.

"What?"

"I found an outhouse. Just around back. That'll definitely be helpful."

"An outhouse?" I scrunched my face. "But… how does that work? I mean, at all the campgrounds I stayed at with my dad, the outhouses were pumped out with a big truck. How long has the… waste been in there?"

"Um, I could be wrong, but in remote areas like this, I think once they get full, the hole is just covered with dirt, and the house above it is moved to a new hole."

"Ew," I said to myself.

Edward chuckled. "Hey, at least we don't have to go in the trees anymore. If it makes you feel any better, it doesn't stink, and the hole is deep enough that you can't really see anything inside."

"Well, that's good then," I said, choosing to see the positive. A toilet was a nice convenience, even if it didn't flush.

"Do you need me to help you get out there so you can go?" he asked kindly.

I smirked. "I've walked this far, I think I can handle a few feet to the outhouse by myself."

"Yeah, but after keeping your leg still for a while, it might start hurting again."

"It's never stopped hurting," I said, but after putting my jacket back on, I tried to get up, and I immediately realized just how right he was. It hurt almost as bad as it did after it first happened. "Wow… that pretty much sucks."

"Yeah, I thought it might. Let me help you," he said before wrapping his arm around me, and supporting my weight. He helped me outside, and brought me to the small outhouse that felt more like a refrigerator.

"It is so cold," I whined, thinking about the daunting prospect of pulling down my pants and actually sitting on the frozen seat.

"Still better than peeing in the snow," Edward told me lightly. "I'll wait for you right outside."

I gasped when my thighs touched the icy toilet seat, so of course, Edward had to see if I was okay. There wasn't a single other human being on the planet that I'd be cool with them just opening the door while I was doing my business, but Edward had seen me in far worse situations, so it really didn't bother me at all.

Still, I hissed a "Yes!" at him, and pulled the door closed again. It just further proved just how close we had become during our arduous journey through that frozen hell.

I couldn't finish fast enough, and when I opened the door, Edward's smug face was smirking at me once more.

I grimaced. "That wasn't fun."

"That's Alaskan wilderness living for you," he teased while wrapping his arm back around me. "Oh, sweetheart, this is the life, isn't it," he jested.

"A dream come true," I replied, playing along with his little joke.

The walk back to the cabin was short, but each step was more painful than the last.

"Why is it hurting even more than before?" I questioned.

"It just stiffened up from your inactivity overnight. Plus, it's not numb from the cold anymore. It's actually a good thing. You need to keep resting it, and it will finally start healing. But just to be safe, why don't you let me look at your wound again to make sure there's no infection."

I nodded, and as soon as we got back into the cabin, I sat on the bed and began taking off my shoes.

"I'm going to get another fire going. It's getting cold in here again," Edward told me.

"Good idea," I agreed.

Once the fire was sending waves of warming goodness towards us, I took my jacket back off, and next came my pants. Edward squatted in front of me, and his cold hand touched my thigh right above my wound, sending a shiver up my spine.

"Sorry," he mumbled, before bringing his hand up to his mouth, and trying to heat up his skin by breathing on it. Then he brought that same hand back to my leg. "It looks a little red, but that could just be from your pants rubbing on it. It might be a good idea to try to keep it uncovered for a while. Maybe just stay under the blanket, but leave your pants off," he suggested. "You really don't want to get an infection out here. There's not much I can do for something like that."

I nodded in understanding, and without hesitation or awkward shyness, I took his advice, and made myself comfortable lounging in nothing but my t-shirt and underwear. I wasn't sure if it was because Edward was a doctor, or because the situation just wouldn't allow for bashful embarrassment. Either way, I had no qualms about it whatsoever.

Edward managed to get the boards off the windows, and with the sunlight shining through, it was actually quite bright. We shared another can of food, and we spent the day talking about nothing, resting, and recouping.

As comfortable as I was hanging out in my skivvies all day, I was somewhat surprised when it came to bedtime that I still felt the same way. I was almost uncomfortable by just how comfortable I felt in that position. It shouldn't be that easy. It shouldn't feel that good to be in my underwear, lying next to someone who I wasn't romantically involved with, but feeling his heat on my skin really was soothing in an unexpected way.

Like the night before, our pinkies found their way to each other under the covers. It was such a soft, subtle thing, that at times I wondered if he even noticed it, but for me, those little pinky hugs were like a lifeline. Human contact. Skin on skin. Such a small necessity of life that most people usually took for granted. Even single or celibate individuals were gifted with embraces from family and friends, or even just a handshake of an acquaintance. Little touches from people rejuvenated the soul, and that's what Edward's pinky, intertwined with mine, did for me. It was just a tiny reminder that I wasn't alone in the world.

When I woke up the next morning, I was grateful Edward was still sleeping, because I found myself completely sprawled out on top of him. There may have even been a small round wet spot on his shirt in the exact area my mouth had been resting while hanging wide open.

 _I seriously drooled on Dr. Cullen._

I should have been mortified, but like with everything else, there just wasn't room for those types of qualms in our current situation.

For the next few days, Edward and I continued to follow that same routine of doing basically nothing during the day, and then falling asleep with our pinkies together, only for me to wake up and roll off of him before he could notice. I stayed on the bed in my underwear all day as well. I really only dressed when I needed to brave the elements to use the outhouse.

When he wasn't sleeping next to me, Edward mostly sat on the chair, but he did take short walks outside with Jake when it wasn't snowing too hard. He was also worried our door would be covered by fresh snow and we'd get trapped inside, so every couple of hours or so, he'd go back out with the shovel he found, and make sure the door was clear. There was a small porch under the overhang of the roof, so thankfully, it mostly kept the snow away without him having to do much. I figured he just wanted to stay busy, which was the real reason for his repeated shoveling.

We also took advantage of the small book collection in the closet, and we spent the bulk of the days, quietly reading to ourselves. However, after playfully fighting over the same book one afternoon, we settled on taking turns reading it out loud to each other. It was actually really nice. I couldn't even remember the last time I read out loud, or was read to in that way. The sound of Edward's voice was smooth and warm, and I'd often end up drifting off to sleep. Of course, when I'd wake up sometime later, I'd force him to reread all the parts I missed. He pretended to be annoyed, but I always caught him fighting off the smile playing on the corner of his lips.

I was actually sad when that book was finished, and even sadder when we couldn't agree on another book to read together next. So we went back to reading on our own, but it wasn't long before I grew tired of it.

"I can't read another page of this. I'm going absolutely stir-crazy in here!" I growled, tossing the book I was holding onto the bed.

"How is your leg feeling today?" Edward asked while putting his book down as well.

"Sore… but I think it's finally getting better."

"I think I should probably take the stitches out," he said apologetically, making my stomach drop.

"They don't just… disappear on their own?" I questioned nervously.

"Unfortunately, no. I didn't have access to those fancy dissolving threads in the plane wreckage."

"I've never had stitches before. Does it hurt to remove them?" I said, sounding more like a baby than I would have liked.

"It may pinch a little if the skin has grown over a stitch, but it shouldn't be bad. It certainly won't hurt anywhere close to as much as they did going in," he said with his adorable crooked grin that almost put me at ease – almost.

He took the scissors from the medical kit, and heated them over the fire so they were sanitized. Then he brought them over to me, and we locked eyes.

"I promise this won't be as bad as you're anticipating," he assured me gently.

I nodded, and took a deep breath trying to force myself to relax. I couldn't help but tense again when he brought the scissors to my skin. What was even worse was when I actually involuntarily jerked away from him.

"Bella, deep breaths," he instructed.

Even with all the pain I had endured previously, I was still such a baby when it came to pain. It was ridiculous, but I still didn't know how to get over it.

Then Edward placed his hand on my thigh, right above my wound, and instead of working on the stitches like I was expecting, he just left it there for a moment, and waited. What he was waiting for, I had no idea. After a minute or so, I finally relaxed, and that's when Edward made his first snip.

"Oh, that wasn't bad," I said surprised.

Edward shrugged with a smirk. "Well, I do know how to work on children."

I grimaced playfully. "Yeah, I guess I deserved that one."

"And they're out," he said unexpectedly.

"All of them?" I asked unsure.

"You are stitch free. How does it feel?"

I moved my leg around a bit, and although I was sure it would still be sore for awhile, there was one issue that was really bothering me.

"It's so stiff."

"The muscle will be stiff from inactivity, but you need to rest it so it can heal."

"It's not just the muscle. It's the skin too. It's all so tight."

Edward sighed. "I don't usually handle wounds like this, but… I think a scar is trying to form. Let me see if I can find any ointment, or something, that can soften it back up."

He went to the big wonderful closet of stuff, and after a few minutes, he came back with Vaseline.

"If you massage this into the wound a couple times a day, it should help."

I nodded and tried to follow his advice, but it was still so sore that I couldn't really massage it myself effectively.

"Do you want me to do it for you?" he offered.

I huffed. "I hate being such a big baby. I don't know why I can't just force myself to do this stuff. It's so frustrating."

"It's only natural to have a difficult time knowingly inflicting pain on yourself," he assured me. "I wouldn't want to do it either if I were you… but it needs to be done, so I'll help…. If you want me to."

I nodded, and handed him back the Vaseline.

I didn't want to watch it, so I reclined back, and braced myself. The coolness of the jelly sent a jolt straight through my belly, and when he began massaging it into my wound, I literally held a pillow over my face to keep myself from screaming.

He offered to stop, but I was stubborn and assured him I could get through it. When it was finally finished, my entire leg felt like it was on fire, but after a short while, the muscle finally relaxed, and I was impressed by just how much better it actually felt.

"Good job," he whispered encouragingly.

"Thanks, Edward," I said sincerely.

"No problem. So, do you want to rest a bit, or are you still feeling stir-crazy?"

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything, but I'm definitely tired of looking at these four walls."

He nodded. "Well, I think Jake is ready to go outside. You should still stay off of your leg as much as possible, but I can take this chair out for you to sit on. Might be nice to get some fresh air after being cooped up in here for a few days."

"That would be great. Thank you," I said graciously. I pulled on my pants, jacket, and hat, and then I followed Edward outside. Since there was only one chair, he had me sit, while he stood beside me and we just watched the scenery before us.

No longer being close to death, we could finally appreciate the surrounding mountains for all the glorious beauty they were. It was so peaceful, and I actually truly enjoyed every minute of being out there.

Then Jake, the wonder dog- guardian angel-extraordinaire, decided to add "entertainer" to his list of attributes.

"What is he doing?" I asked with a giggle as we watched the dog run and jump through the snow.

"Maybe that wolf had rabies after all," Edward grumbled. But even he wasn't immune to Jake's silly antics. We both ended up laughing as he got buried under a surprisingly deep bed of snow. Jake, of course, wasn't discouraged. He just dug himself out, and kept frolicking around.

"God, what I wouldn't give for a fraction of his energy," Edward commented.

"I know, right," I said with a laugh.

I looked away from him for a brief moment, but then…

"Whoa!" Edward nearly shouted. "Go, go, go!" he cheered.

It took me a second, but I quickly caught on to the reason for his cheers. Jake had spotted a rabbit, and was chasing it across the open space in front of us.

I couldn't help but get excited as well. We were no longer starving, thanks to the canned food, but we were still heavily rationing, and some fresh meat would definitely be a welcomed addition.

"Aw, you were so close," Edward said as Jake came back to us empty mouthed.

"He sure had fun chasing it though. Didn't you, boy?" I said while roughing his scruff.

The three of us stayed outside for a short while more, but then the cold got the better of us again, so we went back inside.

That evening, after we ate our small dinner, Edward massaged my leg again, before going to bed. It hurt just as much as it did the first time, but strangely enough, when he was finished, I found myself wishing he'd do it longer. The feeling of his hand on my bare thigh left tingles all over my body, and it wasn't from the pain. Like a hit from some type of heavily addictive narcotic, those tingles felt so good, that I was willing to endure just about any amount of pain just to feel them more.

I honestly couldn't wait until morning so I could ask him to do it again...


	11. Beautiful

**Chapter 11 – Beautiful**

It was a battle to the death. Last man standing – or _wo-man_ in this case.

"War!" I shouted.

Edward responded with a "One, two, flip!"

We both eagerly inspected the cards, and then…

"Yes!" I gloated. "Victorious again. You are really bad at this game, aren't you?"

"It's a stupid game!" he pouted like the poor sport I was discovering him to be. "There's absolutely no skill to it whatsoever. It's all chance. You just got lucky with being dealt better hands."

I giggled. "Well, you're the one who dealt them."

"Yeah, well… I'm sure you cheated somehow. You're probably hiding a second deck on your lap, or something."

"I would never cheat. My dad taught me better than that." I held up my index and middle finger. "Scout's honor."

He laughed. "Okay, I guess I have to believe a scout's honor."

I smiled, and then threw a pillow at him. "Yes, you do. Now what are we playing next?"

"Ugh, we already played all the stupid card games that can be done with only two players. I can't decide which one I hate more. War, or Go Fish."

"Beats staring at the walls and doing nothing."

"I'm not so sure about that. Are we certain there aren't any better books hiding in that closet somewhere? I'd rather read another boring war novel than play dumb games that I suck at."

"We've looked through all the books several times," I told him with a heavy sigh.

I got up from the bed and walked over to the closet, and just stared blankly inside, hoping to be inspired by something.

"I really think the owner of this place is an elderly fisherman," I said, judging by the type of stuff in there. Old war novels, and fishing books. That was the bulk of the reading material. Not to mention the Johnny Cash guitar sheet music. Definitely an elderly gentleman.

"Let's just hope he's still alive and decides to come out here for the weekend soon," Edward grumbled.

"Oh, I didn't even think about that. What if the owner died, and whoever he left this place to, doesn't care enough about it to ever come out here?" I asked concerned.

Edward shrugged. "Anything is possible. All we can do is wait a while, and once your leg is all healed, and hopefully the snow melts a bit, then we can try to hike out of here. Until then, there's no point in worrying about it."

I nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we should teach ourselves how to play guitar," I joked while looking at the dusty instrument in the back of the closet. I grabbed it, and then brought it back to the bed where Edward was sitting.

"How would we teach ourselves to play?" he asked bemused.

"I don't know. Fiddle around with it until it starts sounding good. God knows we have all the time in the world out here," I said while strumming my fingers across the strings.

"Learning the guitar isn't so easy. The riffs and changes can get complex. Hell, even learning how to hold the damn thing can get frustrating," he told me as he moved my fingers into a different position on the long part of the guitar.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why, Doctor Cullen, did you unsuccessfully take up guitar lessons in the past?" I asked teasingly.

He didn't smile the way I was expecting him to, instead he did the absolute last thing I would have expected – he opened up…

"For as long as I can remember, my mom always forced me and my sister to take piano lessons. We probably started at three years old, or something like that. By the time I was ten, I could play Mozart fairly well, but I always thought it was so boring. As a reward for doing really well on one of my concerts, my dad asked my piano teacher to show me a little guitar. He didn't tell my mom. He knew she would never approve."

"Why not?" I questioned curiously.

He shrugged. "She only liked classical music, I guess. Anyway, so I actually loved the guitar, and would do just about anything to get more lessons. My dad got me to do so many chores around the house that year," he said with a chuckle.

I laughed with him. "Well, what happened?"

"By the time I was twelve, or so, my mom had given up her fight against the instrument, so my buddies and I started our own garage band. We were pretty horrible, but we loved it. We spent all our free time practicing. My sister, Bree, always begged me to teach her how to play, since she was too sick to take guitar lessons herself... but I was always too busy to be bothered by her. She spent every free hour she was allowed, just sitting in our garage, listening to me and my buddies practice. She loved it so much. I felt bad that she spent all her free time there, so I told her I would teach her to play later…"

Edward paused introspectively, and just nodded to himself for a long moment.

"Then she died," he continued unexpectedly. "It was all she really wanted, and I refused to stop being selfish, even for a few minutes, to do something nice for her." He shook his head bitterly.

"You were only a child," I told him gently. "How could you have known she was going to pass?"

"The thing is, I did know. I knew she was sick, and I knew she didn't have a lot of time… I just… didn't care, or…."

He let his words trail off.

"Or?" I prompted softly, hoping he'd finish his thought.

"Or maybe I didn't spend time with her _because_ I knew she was going to die. I didn't want to feel it. Like calling all my patients by their last names. Like calling you by your last name. I just…" He shook his head once more. "Anyway, after she died, I never picked up a guitar again."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I murmured, having no idea what else to say.

"I honestly don't know why I do that. Why do I close myself off so much? It's one of the main reasons Kate had for…" He let his words trail off again, but before I could question him on it, he changed directions. "What's even more baffling to me is the fact that I'm talking to you about it. Why do I feel more comfortable talking to someone I didn't even know last month, than I do anyone else in my normal life back home?"

"I don't know," I replied softly. "Maybe… because out here… there's no room for… facades. We don't have the normal distractions to busy ourselves with. All we can do is… peel back our layers, and just… be."

He nodded. "I suppose that makes sense. This might sound odd, but… I'm really glad I got this opportunity to get to know you, Bella."

I smiled at him. "Me too."

We were both quiet for a while, but then seemingly out of nowhere, Edward chuckled to himself. "One day, while Bree was having one of her extended hospital stays, she waited until my parents were distracted with something, and then she rearranged all of the medical supplies in the cabinet drawers. When the doctor came back in to examine her, he was so confused. Bree kept telling him that the cotton balls were always in that area, and the stethoscope hadn't moved from where it usually was. That poor doctor thought he was going mad."

I giggled at his memory. "Was she always a trickster?" I asked carefully, not wanting to push him into discussing more than he was comfortable with.

Edward shrugged. "No, not always. Looking back on it, I think she was just trying to make me laugh because I had been having a crappy day. She was fighting for her life, but she was more concerned about my feelings after I had a hard time on test in school, or something stupid like that."

"It sounds like she was really sweet."

"Yeah… Oh, but she had a temper too. And stubborn as all hell. Actually, funny enough, you kind of remind me of her in a way."

"I do?" I asked surprised.

He nodded. "You're tough as nails, even when you don't think you are… That's how she was. And you both giggle at the weirdest things."

"I do not," I said with a giggle, which I suppose just proved his point.

"No, you do. And you're a fighter. That's a good quality to have, Bella. I know eventually you'll find your way off this mountain, because you just don't know how to fail. I'm sure Bree would have found a way to survive too… if such a thing were even possible for her."

When talking about his sister, it was clear just how deep Edward's love was. It was so incredibly beautiful, and a big part of me wanted nothing more than to just sit there forever, and do nothing but listen to him speak of her. I could see the real him, there in his love for Bree, and I sincerely ached to know all there was to know about him. His love was beautiful, his memories were beautiful, and he was beautiful. There was just no other way to describe him.

I wanted to keep him talking, but he had other ideas.

"Come on. Let's go outside and walk around for a bit," he suggested.

Since Edward had been giving me massages on my wounded leg, I had been getting around a lot better, so he suggested little walks several times a day. I wasn't quite ready for a major hike, or anything, but it was definitely nice to move around a bit easier.

Like with all our other walks, I grabbed my camera before we left. I usually just took pictures of the mountains and the trees; on that outing, however, even Jake paused his stride long enough for me to capture the perfect shot of a snow white fox that we were lucky enough to spot.

"Wow, she is beautiful," I said in awe.

Jake had been patient long enough. The moment I put down my camera, he took off at full speed, chasing after it.

"Eh, can't really blame him," Edward said casually. "Any bachelor would chase a pretty fox like that."

"I don't think he's chasing it looking for a date," I said with a smirk.

"I don't know. Desperate times call for desperate measures. He's certainly not getting any other tail out here."

I smacked him playfully, and we both chuckled.

Edward's comment about desperate times was almost ironic, given our post-walk ritual. Every time we got in from one of our walks, Edward would stoke the fire, and I would strip back down to my underwear, and lie on the bed to wait for him. It wasn't even discussed, it had just become our norm, and I looked forward to each and every one of them.

Truth be told, the massages didn't even hurt anymore, and I was probably more than capable of doing them myself, however it had become a form of intimacy in a way. Like any couple would look forward to sex, I yearned for his touch just as much. It was intense and unyielding. No matter how often he did it, I always craved more.

After connecting on an even deeper level that day, due to him opening up to me, that particular massage was even more intimate somehow. It was hard to hide the reaction his touch gave me, but then again, I didn't really feel like I had to hide it. I was sure he knew exactly how my body was reacting to his incredible fingers on my skin, but he never commented on it, and I was grateful. We needed each other far too much to let anything get weird between us. There was a very clear line that we weren't crossing, and as long as we stayed behind that line, there was no reason to worry about it.

...

As the days continued to linger on, I felt further and further away from the person I was before the crash. The Alaskan wilderness had a way of consuming everything. It was so hard to think of anything else when we were struggling to exist in that environment. But at times, when I found myself in moments of still silence, Seattle would seep into my mind. The people, and places, and lives we left behind. Strangely enough, however, it wasn't my life in Seattle, or my family and friends that I found myself thinking about most – it was the pretty weathergirl.

When I looked at Edward moving about before me, I tried to picture what it would be like when he was no longer in front of me. What would life be like back in Seattle when we would ultimately have to go our separate ways? In just thinking about it, I already missed him, so I couldn't help but imagine just how badly Kate Cullen missed her husband at that moment. How could she not? How could anyone know him and not miss him?

Edward was like this bright light shrouded by a sky of storm clouds. He was beauty and fury at the same time. He was clarity and an enigma. He embodied polar opposites somehow coexisting in a beautiful perplexing balance. I wanted nothing more than to be the wind so I could blow all his clouds away, but deep down I knew that wasn't my place. It was Kate Cullen's. I was just borrowing him for awhile, the way dreams sometimes took people away from their normal lives. I was that dream, and he was mine. Although, as our time together stretched on, it really started to feel like Seattle was the dream instead.

Were people even still looking for us?

The entire world could have been engulfed by some natural or economic disaster for all we knew. It sincerely felt like we had survived an ice age apocalypse, and we were the last two human beings on the planet. For all we knew, it could be true.

My determination to stay behind that imaginary line dwindled by the day…

After my routine evening massages, we would go to bed together, and I began lying across his chest, even before either of us fell asleep. He knew I slept on him every night anyway, there was no point in trying to hide it. There was no point in trying to hide anything from him.

Not even my stench…

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad do I actually stink now?" I asked one lazy afternoon.

Edward laughed. "Ever see those air freshener commercials about people going nose blind?"

I giggled. "Yeah."

"I must have gone nose blind, because I honestly don't smell anything," he said while lifting my arm and actually taking a whiff of my pit.

"Well, I smell it," I said after smelling the same pit.

"If you think you smell, you must be truly disgusted by my stench."

I smelled him. "It's actually not bad."

In all honestly, his natural body odor was far too appealing than I cared to admit, even to myself.

"Why is that?" I questioned. "Why don't we smell worse than we do? It's been weeks since either of us have bathed in any way."

"It's cold here. If we were lost on a warm deserted island, we would probably stink a lot more…. But, with us being in the warm cabin so much, our… _aromas_ have started coming out. We should probably test that thing out," he said while pointing at the water trough.

"I just don't see how we can warm it up to a bearable temperature. We have to boil snow, but even the biggest pot isn't that big, so we'd have to do it a lot. It will be cold before we can get it full."

"Nah, not cold. If we keep the fire going, it'll be warm enough in here that the water will stay at least lukewarm for a bit. I think we should try it. Beats stinking. I'll tell you what, you can take the first bath, and I'll just use the same water when you're done. No point in going through all that hassle twice."

"The water will really be cold if you wait until I'm done," I argued lightly.

"I'm not all that worried about it," he assured me.

Before I could overthink it and talk us out of it, he got to work filling the larger pots full of snow. It didn't take long to boil them over the blazing fire, and not long after that, the tub had just enough water to bathe in.

"I'll take Jake outside," Edward said while I pulled my sweater off.

"It's snowing. You don't have to go out right now. I'm going to keep on my underwear and t-shirt anyway. They could use a good washing too. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. In fact, after you bathe, I think I'll use the water to wash all our laundry."

"That's a good idea," he agreed.

So, staying in my usual lounge-wear, I slowly lowered myself into the warm water. It was nowhere near the temperature I'd ever bathe in at home, but it was warm enough, and the water was definitely soothing.

My white t-shirt clung to my chest in a revealing way, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care. It felt so good to have the water devour me after so long of dryness, that I could have been completely naked in front of a crowd and not even batted an eye.

I probably could have soaked in the water for hours, but I didn't want to use up all the warmth before Edward got his turn, so I took a washcloth and started scrubbing my skin right away. First I washed my arms, then my stomach, and down to my legs. When it came to my back, I was stuck.

"Edward?" I asked, holding out the cloth. He had been busying himself with keeping the fire burning hot, but he paused and turned to me. "Please," I added.

His face was unreadable, but he didn't hesitate. He came right over, and took the cloth from me. I leaned forward so he could scrub my back, and when he moved the cloth under my shirt, I somehow tensed and relaxed at the same time.

After washing my back, I reclined back, and without any prior discussion to do so, Edward put the cloth down, and then reached into the water, right to my wounded thigh.

I wasn't sure if it was the new setting, or the image of Edward's long lean arm reaching into the water, but suddenly I was drowning in yearning tension. As his hand caressed and massaged my upper leg, my entire body lit up with an aching desire that only intensified with every knead of his skilled fingers.

He was working on my leg, but it wasn't my wound that was feeling it. The sensation shot straight through my core, and I honestly felt like I was going to combust.

In that tiny cabin, in the middle of the frozen nowhere, there was no room for concealed emotions. No place to hide any type of desire. Edward knew what I wanted, and if he didn't, I was about to show him...

Without consciously deciding to do so, my hand found it's way to his on my thigh, and after caressing his knuckles momentarily, I gently, but not so subtly, guided his fingers inward towards the inner elastic rim of my underwear.

Our eyes locked, and where I was sure he could read me like an open book, his features weren't as clear as they rested somewhere between desire and restraint. If he wanted to touch me, he was definitely conflicted about it. The last thing I'd ever want to do was force him into something that made him uncomfortable, so I released his hand, and tried like hell to ignore the pulsating ache between my thighs.

I released his hand, but Edward's hand didn't retreat. Instead, after a slight moment of hesitation, he picked up where I left off, and his fingers traveled inward all on their own. His index finger slipped inside my underwear, and he seemed to let go of all his inhibitions and went straight to work, giving me a completely different type of massage.

His touch on my most sensitive area sent a jolt straight through me, and before I knew it, my entire body was convulsing around his fingers. He never actually entered my body, but those agonizingly beautiful touches felt far more intimate than anything I had ever experienced before.

When my body finally managed to relax again, I was able to get my wits back, and I briefly worried there would be an awkwardness between us. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing, or the worse case scenario, but Edward went about his business as if nothing happened – as if that incredibly beautiful intimate massage was no different than all the others.

My heart sank.

...

 *****A/N:** Many people have asked about an EPOV, but I've decided to keep this story in Bella's perspective. This is _her_ story, and how she feels during her experience. However, everyone will learn exactly how Edward thinks and feels as Bella discovers it, and she (we) will also learn everything that has been happening back home if/when Bella does. It's all part of the story unfolding. Thank you for understanding!

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you!

~KC


	12. Breaking the Ice

**Chapter 12 – Breaking the Ice**

If I had known my little act of desperation would have resulted in me losing my best friend, I would have never done it… Okay, perhaps I would have, because that was honestly one of the best sensations of my life thus far.

Since that day, Edward pretended nothing happened, but at the same time, he completely shut himself off from me. No more playful banter, no more long conversations into all hours of the night, and worst of all, no more leg massages.

He feigned ignorance when I'd ask him if he was okay, but we went from sharing everything, back to being virtual strangers. We spoke, of course, but it was only when necessary, and even then it was emotionless and strained. When I questioned him about my massages, he simply said I didn't need them anymore. We were both too chicken shit to discuss the real issue, which was probably the most heartbreaking aspect of it all. We had come so far. I sincerely felt like I knew the real him that he usually kept hidden behind all those iced walls of his. I thought that we could tell each other anything, but all that was stripped away with one amazing little intimate touch.

It wasn't worth it.

Not even the best sensation on the planet was worth losing the closeness we shared. He was still standing in front of me, but I missed him as much as I would have if he was out of my reach. And he was, in fact, out of my reach; not physically, but emotionally. He was simply gone.

We spent days doing nothing. We spent hours not talking. I spent minutes feeling like I was holding my breath. I felt as if I was constantly waiting for something. What, I had no idea. It was during one of those extended periods of loneliness that Garrett finally crept into my mind. It was only then that I realized that I couldn't even remember the last time I thought about him.

Did I even miss him?

What did that even mean?

The truth was, I couldn't even think about him long enough to analyze it. I was far too consumed by missing the man standing in front of me, than to worry about my feelings for someone thousands of miles away. Someone I may never see again. Then again…

"Edward, maybe we should start thinking about hiking out of here soon," I suggested carefully one morning. Despite our distance, we still partook in our daily walks with Jake. My leg hardly hurt anymore, so it was a good time to start the discussion again. Besides, with Edward barely speaking to me, the isolation of the cabin was wearing on me hard. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand it.

"The snow hasn't melted," he replied emotionlessly. "We still can't see the road. We have supplies here, and shelter. We should stay as long as we can."

"What happens when our supplies run out?" I questioned. "They aren't going to last us another month."

"If we haven't been rescued by then, we will hike out at that point," he maintained.

I nodded, and then walked away from him. I certainly didn't want to have that argument again. But his distance, and curt responses to any of my attempts to engage a conversation with him, was wearing thin. He was bitter, and it was making me bitter, and I found myself resentful of everything.

When Edward and I had a ridiculous fight over what can of food to open for dinner one early evening, I had enough. I was done with giving him his space. If we had to be stuck there together, then I wasn't going to allow that animosity to grow between us any more than it already had.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay!" I snapped. My tone was involuntarily stuck between annoyance and mortification, but my emotions were running too high to try to control it any better. "I shouldn't have done that," I continued, trying my damnedest to soften my voice so I sounded sincere, but I knew I wasn't very successful. Still, I had to try. "I shouldn't have asked you to cross that line. I get it, okay. You're married. I should have respected that, and not…pressured you to touch me in that way. I just… I just needed to feel you... to feel something. I thought… I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry. I don't want this wedge between us to destroy everything we had. Please. Can't we just… move past it?"

When he just stared at me blankly, the hot angry tears running down my face were enough to make me want to run and hide. It wasn't easy to say all of that, and he obviously could care less. It was a painful blow that I needed to escape from. Even if only for a little while, I needed some time alone to calm myself down, and try to recover some dignity from the humiliation.

So I slipped on my boots, and grabbed my coat. I rarely ever went outside alone, but I just needed a few minutes. A few minutes that changed absolutely everything…

"Bella, wait!" Edward called after me from the cabin porch.

"I'm fine," I tried assuring him, not wanting to guilt him into saying anything he didn't mean.

"No, wait!" he called again, but I just kept walking. I walked straight into the clearing adjacent to the cabin, but that was when I realized something.

I heard the cracking noise below my feet first, so I reflexively looked down, and gently kicked away some of the snow. Then I saw it.

"Edward!" I called back to him in a panic.

He ran to the edge of the clearing, and put up his hand. "Bella freeze! Just hold still. You're on a frozen lake."

"Yeah, I got that!" I shouted back at him. "Why didn't I know there was a lake right here?"

"The snow covered the ice. I noticed it a few days ago. I just forgot."

"You forgot!" I exclaimed incredulously. But then I heard the horrifying sound of more cracking.

"Don't move!" he reiterated intensely.

"How do I get off of here?" I cried.

Edward inched closer to me, and then he got down on his hands and knees. "Okay, I'm coming out to you. Just… try to be still."

"If we're both out on this ice, it will surely break. Let me just…"

I took one more baby step towards Edward, and then I heard the loudest crack yet, which echoed off the mountains like monstrous thunder. It happened so fast that I didn't even feel myself fall, but I definitely felt the moment the frigid water engulfed me.

I honestly thought I'd never experience a greater physical pain than when Edward first tended to my injured leg, however when that icy water hit me, it truly felt like I was suddenly being stabbed by a million knives. Every single muscle in my body seized up, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to move.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, and I couldn't move. All I sensed was pain. Frozen, excruciating, pain.

I had no idea how long I was submerged for, but I did note the moment the pain stopped. After my body went numb, and the lack of oxygen to my brain made me disoriented, I had a moment of pure serenity. It was absolutely beautiful. The darkness, the floating, the lack of pain. It was surreal in the best possible way.

But then I was jerked out of that blissful state, and dragged back into the frozen hell, completely against my will.

I was vaguely aware that I was begging to be put back into the water, but everything else was a total blur. Everything was a blur up until the moment I woke up in bed, being fully engulfed in Edward's warm embrace. It took me several more minutes before I realized we were both mostly nude.

"Ed-Edward," I stuttered, not even realizing that my mouth was still somewhat frozen.

"Shh. Don't try to talk just yet," he cooed.

I was so confused, and had so many questions, but he was right. I needed a little more time to let my body defrost before I could even form a coherent thought. So I let unconsciousness consume me once more.

Sometime later, I could finally feel my fingers and toes again, and that was when I was able to feel the glorious sensation of Edward's skin on mine. He was so soft, and warm, and heavenly, that I briefly thought I was hallucinating.

 _Was he really there with me?_

We never stopped sleeping beside each other, but it had been a while since we had even touched in our sleep. Having him holding me again was honestly the best feeling I could imagine at the moment.

As all my other senses began defrosting as well, I finally felt like I could speak again.

"What happened?" I mumbled.

I probably imagined it, but I could have swore he kissed my forehead before responding.

"You fell into the lake… or pond, or whatever the hell it is," he mumbled gently. "It's okay now. You're warming back up. I can't believe I almost lost you again."

I looked up at him, intending to ask more questions about the frozen lake I had fallen into, however when he kissed my forehead again, and whispered how sorry he was, I forgot all my questions and why he would ever want to apologize.

Nothing else in the world existed in those moments. There was no ice, no arguments, no wedge between us. There wasn't even a frozen wilderness outside, or a home full of people waiting for us a couple thousand miles away. It was just him, and it was just me, and nothing else mattered, because there was nothing else.

I wasn't even sure how it started, but suddenly his lips were all over me, and mine were all over him. I wanted to kiss every inch of him. I wanted to touch him in every way. I wanted him inside of me.

When his lips traveled back to mine, he kissed me hard. It was the type of kiss I had only ever read about, the type to make me forget all the other kisses I had ever experienced before. It was pain and passion, anger and love. Every emotion in the world came out in that kiss, and it wasn't even possible to pull back or stop at that point.

What little clothing we had on, peeled away like they were made of wet paper. As he continued to kiss me, his hand found its way back to place that had caused so much tension before, and he resumed giving me the best possible massage imaginable. But it only lasted a few moments, because my body was already tense, and ready for so much more.

His body shifted over mine, and then he slowly pushed himself into me. It felt like it had been a lifetime coming. The buildup, the tension, the love. It had grown so organically, but perhaps we had been far to busy trying to survive to notice it sooner. There was no denying it now.

As his pace quickened, his lips broke from mine with a low moan that seemed to stem from deep inside his chest. His hot breath on my neck was so intoxicating that I felt myself losing what little grip of self-control I had left. With every thrust, my strength weakened, and with every kiss, my control loosened. I tried to hold on. I tried with everything I had inside of me, but I ended up falling into that blissful state of all-consuming combustion far sooner than I intended. I felt it in every inch of my body. From the top of my tingling head, to the very tips of my curling toes, my body convulsed in agonizingly beautiful waves of bliss.

It had to be the best feeling I ever experienced before. Not just because it had been such a long time of only feeling cold and pain, but because I honestly couldn't remember ever experiencing a sensation that was completely satisfying, but left me desperately yearning for more.

The moment it was over, I wanted it again. And again. It was a hunger like no other, and I couldn't even imagine ever getting enough.

We didn't speak much that night. I was weak from my most recent trauma, but even after exhaustion finally got the better of me, I still refused to let him go. Our bodies were spent, however that didn't stop us from continuing to explore each other on a more intimate, physical level.

We slept holding each other, and would wake up periodically throughout the night to kiss and make love again.

It wasn't until the next morning, after having sex once again, did we finally find our voices.

"I think I'm finally warm now," I mumbled against the skin on his shoulder. I don't know why those were the first words I chose to utter after we had just connected on such an intimate level, but it was the first thing that came to mind, so I just went with it.

Edward chuckled. "Thank god for that," he murmured. "I really thought I was going to lose you there for a while." He pulled back just enough to look me in the eye, and then he tenderly pushed my hair out of my face. "I honestly don't know what I would have done if you didn't make it."

"Luckily, we don't have to find out," I whispered back to him.

He caressed my face again, and then leaned in to kiss my forehead once more.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said gently. He had already apologized the night before, but it seemed he wasn't done just yet. "I should have told you about the lake as soon as I noticed it. Hell, I should have noticed that damn lake the moment we came here. I didn't even stop to wonder why there was so much fishing equipment here. Of course there is a fucking lake." He paused, took a deep breath, and then continued. "I just should have told you. I should have told you about a lot of things. You could have died because I was being so stupid."

"You closed yourself off from me," I mumbled with my lips against his chest.

"I know. I'm so sorry," he repeated.

"I never wanted to pressure you into doing anything you didn't want to do," I added quietly.

"You didn't," he said gently but intensely at the same time. Then he huffed. "Gah! You have no idea how long I've wanted you. How freaking hard it was just keeping those massages targeted solely on your leg. I wanted to touch you everywhere. It took every ounce of self-control, and me reciting my doctor's oath over, and over, in my brain, just to keep my hand contained to your wound."

I smiled at his words, but somehow managed to force the grin off my face. "So… you just became distant because…of Kate?" I questioned reluctantly.

"What?" he asked, seemingly genuinely confused. "No. Bella, no. Kate… she asked me for a divorce right before I went to Alaska."

"She did?" I asked, stunned.

"That was actually the reason why I went to Alaska. She wanted space, so I thought I could give her that while I stayed with my family in Denali."

"Why did she want a divorce?" I asked, still in shock by that revelation.

He sighed. "I suppose it was a long time coming. Neither of us have been happy for a while, but I just thought…"

"What?" I pressed.

"I was raised to believe in the whole…sanctity of marriage thing. My parent's marriage survived the death of a child. Surely our marriage could survive a little lackluster feelings towards each other. For better or worse, and all that. I just assumed we were going through a 'worse'… a long time of 'worse'. But still, neither of us cheated, or anything irreconcilable like that, so I didn't understand it. I was pissed that she was giving up, and a part of me just assumed it was temporary and she would call it off."

"But?" I questioned.

"But, while I was in Denali, she texted me that she was putting our condo on the market, and she was meeting with a lawyer."

"So… it's really over?"

"Yeah, well I never signed any papers, or anything, but yeah. Hell, by this point she's probably filed a death certificate for me, making our marriage void anyway," he said with unexpected humor in his voice.

I reflexively smiled as a response, but then I fell serious again.

"So, why didn't you tell me any of this before when I asked you about your wife?"

"I just told you why. I was still pissed about it. But it's not like you've asked recently. We were still basically strangers when you asked about her before. I didn't feel like getting into all of it right then. You were saying how great she is, and all that. I just wanted to roll my eyes the entire conversation, but I settled for trying to change the subject. If you would have asked me about her more recently, I probably would have told you the truth. God knows I've been way more open with you than I ever meant to be," he laughed again. "You haven't asked again, and I honestly haven't given her a second thought since then."

"I haven't thought much about anything or anyone in my life back home either," I agreed.

"This environment doesn't leave much room for memories of a life we may never return to," he said softly.

I snuggled closer to him. Knowing I wasn't actually a home-wrecker was definitely a relief. However our most recent confrontation still bothered me.

"Edward, if you wanted me, and you weren't resisting due to your marriage, why have you been so upset since that night you touched me in the bath?"

"I never meant to come across that way," he said apologetically. "I actually thought I was hiding it well. It wasn't until you started apologizing for the entire thing that I realized what a shitty job I had been doing at hiding my bitterness over it all."

"Bitterness?" I asked perplexed.

"It's just… You don't understand, you are… so frustrating to me."

"I am?" I asked, taking offense to his words.

"No, not like that. I mean, you are incredible. You're like this… strong, feisty, amazing person, but no matter how much I wanted you, I knew… and I still know this as a fact… I'm just… not that way. I'm…" he shook his head. "I'm a pessimist, and a downer, and… Kate literally told me that I sucked the life out of her…. I didn't want to do that to you, Bella. You deserve so much more than someone who will only extinguish that incredible fire within you. And after I lost all self-control and touched you in that way, I was so angry at myself. It was never at you. I'm so sorry you ever thought I was mad at you… It's just so frustrating to me knowing I could never be good for you. I wish I was. I wish I knew how to let go of all this… bitterness inside me."

I reached up and caressed his beard covered face. "But you have let a lot of it go… or at least you did before you sunk into that funk of yours. You even told me about your sister. Didn't you say you don't usually talk about her?"

He stared at me for a long moment, and then he dropped his head so it was resting against mine. "I just don't ever want to drag you down the way I seem to with everyone else I've ever known."

I knew it was going to take time to reassure him against something that was so ingrained deep within him, so I decided the best thing to do was attempt to simplify it.

"You don't need to worry about my future, or about anyone in your past. All we can really do in this situation is focus on the here and now - what's right in front of us at this minute. I don't want, or need, you to save me from you. I know who you are deep down, and that's all that matters. We have to just keep moving forward. One step at a time. Somehow, we will get through all this, and we'll do it together," I said confidently.

He didn't look too convinced, but still, he smiled at me, and kissed me tenderly on the lips, before whispering "Together".

It didn't matter if he truly believed he could make me happy or not. He could have doubts; we all had them from time to time. As long as those doubts didn't pull him away from me again, I was sure we would be okay. As long as we stuck together, I knew we would continue to survive, and we would survive, by being together….


	13. Home

**Chapter 13 – Home**

"Oh god, Bella. You feel so damn good on the inside," Edward moaned as he pumped into me fervently.

"Ugh," I groaned.

"I mean, you feel good on the outside too, but fuck!" he added.

"Edward!" I shouted at him.

"I just want to do this for the rest of my life," he continued.

"Please, shut up," I whined.

"I can't… Holy fuck you feel good."

I involuntarily whimpered as my entire body tensed far too soon. Damn it!

Not that it didn't feel amazing, because obviously it did, but Edward knew I hated when he talked during sex. We had only been doing it a few days, but he knew my body probably better than any long-term lover I ever had before. He knew exactly what set me off, and his voice, saying anything at all, was enough to put me over the edge. It was just so warm and silky, and I couldn't resist the sound of it. The problem was that I was climaxing way sooner than I wanted, and I was fairly certain he did it on purpose.

"You're such a jerk," I said as he pulled out of me.

He chuckled. "Hey, every word I said was true. You feel so good," he said while his hand slowly caressed my chest.

"But you know I can't hold on if you're talking. It was going so good, I didn't want it to end that soon."

He smirked, and then kissed my forehead quickly, before rolling out of bed. "Sorry, babe. We have things to do today."

I laughed once. "Like what? Debate over which mushy soup to eat for breakfast? Or were you hoping to get your ass kicked in cards again?"

"Both could be fun… if we do it naked that is. But no, today we are fishing."

"Fishing?" I nearly spat. "How? The lake is froze over."

"There is a such thing as ice fishing," he quipped. "But as you were so kind to discover, the ice isn't thick enough for that, so… we are just going to have to try to fish from the edge. I'll break some of the ice with my trusty ax, and throw a line in. Hopefully those fish are hungry enough to bite."

"I don't even really understand how fish survive under ice," I grumbled as I forced my languid body off the bed. I didn't get dressed right away. I simply stood there buck naked for a few minutes, leaned against one of the posts, and just watched Edward pulling his pants and shirt on.

He looked up at me, and smiled that hungry type of smile that I loved seeing so much. It had quickly become one of my favorite looks on him.

"You can't just stand there like that," he said, trying his best to sound irritated, but failing miserably.

"Why not?" I feigned innocence.

His smile grew, but he tried to fight it. "Because it's not fair. I really want to go try fishing. We could use some fresh food."

"But it's cold outside… and oh so warm in here," I said, doing my best to sound seductive.

Edward shook his head, but not even a moment later, he growled and then attacked me. His clothes were already on, so rather then strip again, he settled for just leaving a trail of kisses down my body, right to that most sensitive area right between my thighs.

From this position, he couldn't speak, so I knew this was going to be a nice, amazing, sensual, slow burn. Or, at least I hoped it would be. When his tongue hit a particularly sensitive spot, my resulting climax was swift and intense. I was definitely not prepared for that one.

Of course, when he was done with me, he was all worked up again himself, so it would have been wrong of me to not return the favor.

 _God, he tastes good._

After another hour or so of us trying to catch our breaths and get our strengths back, Edward attempted to go outside again.

I got dressed, and Jake and I followed him out to the pond, lake, or whatever it was. I was intending to just watch his attempt, however it quickly became clear that he had no idea what he was doing.

"Have you ever fished before?"

"No, but how hard can it be?"

"Well, you're doing it wrong," I told him with a grin.

"Your daddy and me camping trips involved fishing?" he assumed.

I nodded, and then I took the rod from him. "Let the pro show you how it's done."

We must have sat out there, with our butts in the freezing snow, for hours, but nothing bit.

"You know, my dad always told me it was best to fish at dawn and twilight. Perhaps we should try again later," I suggested.

"You're probably right."

"Is it just me, or does it feel a little warmer out here today," I questioned. "No wonder why the ice isn't thick on this lake."

Edward nodded absently.

"The warmth will help all the babies hatch, and this water will be swarming with new fish in no time," I said lightly.

"Uh… speaking of babies… I guess I should have asked you about this sooner, but um…I haven't exactly been using a condom. The local store here seems to be out of them," he joked awkwardly.

"Do you have any STDs?" I replied straight-faced.

"No. I'm more worried about a STF."

I looked at him confused by that one.

"Sexually transmitted fetus," he deadpanned.

I giggled. I couldn't help it. "Well, I've been taking the depo shot for about five years now. They last three months, and I got one right before I left for Alaska, which was only a week before I met you…. How long has it been since we crashed anyway?"

"Uh… Shit, I don't even know. Time really has a way of getting away from me out here. I'm thinking maybe a month. Maybe more, maybe less."

I nodded. "But I'm sure it hasn't been three months, so we should be okay for a while. If we are here for another month or so, we may have to start getting creative with it."

Just as we were packing up to go back inside, Jake took off running to the great unknown once again.

"Is it that stupid rabbit again?" I groaned.

"I'm not sure. I didn't see anything this time," Edward replied.

We were probably wrong, but we were convinced there was one sole rabbit that lived in the area. It liked to torment Jake so much, but it had to have been the fastest rabbit on the planet, because the poor pup just couldn't catch it. He had managed to bring us home a few mice, and a couple small birds since the time we had been there, but none were big enough to share, so we were always just happy to let him eat his catch alone.

"Can you see him?" I asked concerned.

Jake often ran out to the forest, but he was usually right back. It wasn't until we heard a loud growl that we realized there was a much bigger threat than an evasive rabbit.

"What the hell was that?" I asked terrified.

"Shit," Edward breathed. "I think it's a bear."

"What?" I cried. "Why do you think that?"

"Look," he said, pointing to a particular area in front of us. From our position it was hard to spot, but when I refocused my eyes, I could definitely see a large, dark colored animal, standing dangerously close to the very agitated Jake.

"Jake!" Edward called to him.

"Jake! Come here, boy!" I shouted as well. "Edward, it's going to kill him."

"He can outrun it if he just leaves it alone. JAKE!"

We heard more aggressive barking, and another deep growl, but thankfully their confrontation ended without any bloodshed. Jake finally listened to our calls, and he came back.

"We better stay inside for a bit until that thing leaves," Edward suggested.

"I couldn't agree more."

Even though that bear was slightly terrifying, I was glad to be given a reason to be stuck inside right then. The moment we locked ourselves in the cabin, I began stripping off Edward's clothes.

He laughed. "Have you always been this horny?"

"No… it's definitely your fault."

…

When we finally ventured back outside the following morning, we were grateful to see no sign of the bear.

"Now, you stay close," I told Jake, fully expecting Jake the Wonder Dog to understand exactly what I was telling him.

"Let's try this again," Edward said while trying to bait his hook the way I showed him before.

I kept a lookout while he attempted to fish, and luckily, like the dog genius he was, Jake listened and stayed close by the entire time.

After only twenty minutes or so, there was a tug on the line.

"Slowly," I instructed as Edward began reeling it in.

We had no idea what to expect before the fish was pulled out, but as soon as it was in view, we understood completely why someone would have a cabin by such a remote lake.

"Wow," was all I could manage to say.

"That is the biggest fish I have ever seen," Edward commented.

"Yeah," I agreed. "That's a beautiful fish."

"Let's go clean it and cook it," he suggested eagerly.

"Well, cook some of it. We have our very own freezer out here for the rest. We will be eating that thing for days," I said excitedly.

Jake licked his lips.

Although I always despised cleaning fish with my dad, I was actually surprised by just how much it didn't bother me to do it with Edward. It felt weirdly domestic, and just brought us to a whole new level of closeness.

We giggled, and kissed, and took turns flipping that night's portion on the pan in the fire. When it was time to taste it, we were super excited. Edward even found some salt and pepper in the closet.

It honestly felt like Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and all the other holiday dinners combined. We ate until we were uncomfortably stuffed, and we didn't even have the energy to make love before going to sleep. Of course, we more than made up for it a few times in the middle of the night.

After making love the next morning, and staying in bed until early afternoon, we finally got too hungry to wait any longer, so we decided to partake in some more of our delicious catch. No matter how much we ate the night before, it was impossible to be sick of it more than we were sick of canned mush. However, when we opened the door to retrieve the leftovers under the ice, we realized our mistake.

"That's not good," I mumbled as we both just stared in shock at the sight before us. Sometime in the night, our fish had been dug up and consumed by, what we could only assume, was the same bear Jake had confronted. The prints in the snow were absolutely massive, and it honestly scared me a bit.

"Where were you on that one?" Edward asked Jake lightly.

"He did get a little antsy at one point in the middle of the night. You don't remember that?" I asked him as I looked around for any sign of the bear lingering.

"No."

I giggled. "Well, you were pretty focused on your thrusting."

"If you were focused on the dog more than my thrusting, then I guess I need to do a better job."

"Aww," I reached up and embraced his head while kissing his temple. "You do an amazing job. His whimpering just distracted me for a moment since he usually sleeps through the night. I wonder why he didn't bark?" I mused.

"Some wonder dog," Edward scoffed playfully.

Jake cocked his head to the side as a response.

"See? He's offended by your statement," I giggled.

Edward smiled, but then fell serious again. "Well, it really sucks that our fish was stolen."

"Yeah, that would have been good this morning. But I'm sure we can catch another."

"Yes, but more importantly, that bear now knows there's food here. He may come back… or he may even still be close by. We'd better keep close to the cabin for a few days. I'll walk you to the outhouse, and then we should stay inside as much as possible."

I nodded in agreement.

We spent a good part of the day in bed, but we did feel a little awkward with Jake just staring at us.

"Why does he look so pissed?" Edward mumbled to me.

I laughed. "I don't know. Maybe he's just tired of being inside."

"No, I think he's jealous. I knew he had a thing for you. Little pervy dog."

"Oh stop. He doesn't know what we've been doing."

"Like hell he doesn't. He knows mating when he sees it, and he's pissed because he wants you for himself. Look at the way he's looking at you."

I laughed again, and then threw a pillow at Edward. "Stop."

"Dude, I'll stop when he does," he replied while pretending to stare Jake down. "I'm watching you, boy. She's mine. You can just keep your paws to yourself."

"Okay, okay, how about we do something else for a while?"

"That's a good idea. I wouldn't be able to concentrate with his eyes on us the entire time."

"So, you want to play cards again?" I questioned.

Edward grimaced.

"Okay, then you go in the closet and figure something out," I said, mildly frustrated.

"Fine. I'll definitely find something better than cards," he grumbled as he got off the bed.

He must have been in the closet for over ten minutes, so I got restless.

"Am I going to have to send a search party after you?" I joked.

When he finally came out, I was more than a little shocked to see him carrying the guitar.

"You don't have to play that," I said gently, knowing just how emotional the memory of playing was for him.

He shrugged. "It's been so long I doubt I even remember how."

He sat on the bed across from me, and just held the guitar in position for a few heavy moments… and then he stroked the strings and music came out.

Edward was good at everything, so I wasn't sure why I was so shocked that he was gifted with the guitar as well, but I was. You would never know he hadn't played since he was thirteen. It was absolutely incredible.

After a few minutes of playing a song I didn't recognize, he morphed his strumming into Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven", and my eyes immediately began to tear up. I knew he was playing it for his sister, but it just so happened that my dad had hired a guitarist to play that same song at my mother's funeral. It had always meant a lot to me, and it clearly meant a lot to Edward too, as he was forced to pause to wipe away his own tears.

"I'm sorry," he said embarrassed.

"No, don't be sorry. That was beautiful," I said emotionally. "That song was played at my mom's funeral, so I'm just… a mess too."

"You're not a mess. You're beautiful," he murmured.

"You're beautiful," I replied, before climbing into his lap.

He kissed my head, and then stretched his arms around me so he could play some more. It couldn't have been easy with me in his way, but he played just as well as he did without me.

It was a perfect way to spend the afternoon, and I found myself legitimately happy. As absurd as it sounded, given the situation we were in, I truly felt like I was right where I was always meant to be. In his arms, I was home…


	14. Guilt

**Chapter 14 – Guilt**

"I'm boring you, aren't I?" Edward asked with a smirk. Before I could answer, he put the guitar down, and grabbed the deck of cards. "Want to kick my ass again?"

I smiled at him. I absolutely loved that he hated cards so much but was willing to play just to entertain me. It was so incredibly sweet, but I wasn't in the mood for cards at the moment.

"I wasn't bored with your guitar playing. I was really enjoying it actually. You'd never know you haven't played in twenty years."

"Eh, it's like riding a bike," he said with a wink. "Come here, I'll show you."

"Show me?" I asked confused.

"I'll teach you. You wanted to learn to play, right?"

"Yeah, but…"

I was absolutely speechless. It was one thing to play for himself again after so long, but to offer to teach me, when he had carried so much guilt for so long for not taking the time to teach his sister, was really meaningful. I could see the change in him. The anger directed inward at himself was beginning to dissipate. It was definitely a big step in the right direction. He was finally making peace with the instrument, and himself.

"No, like this," he said, moving my fingers into the proper place.

"Like this?" I asked.

"Yeah, and this finger will move…here," he guided me.

He also offered to teach me to read sheet music. It was frustrating at first, but after several days of determined perseverance, I had Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" irrevocably burned into the forefront of my brain. I only wished I liked Johnny Cash.

"If only there was Backstreet Boys sheet music here," Edward teased me.

"Hey, my love for BSB is a secret I trusted you with. No using it to pick on me," I complained.

"But… _I want it that way_ ," he sang teasingly.

I giggled at him. "So, you're a fan too, huh?"

"No way in hell! I would never be caught dead listening to that stupid band. I don't even know how they can call themselves a band anyway. Two of the old dudes who call themselves 'boys' sound like they have frogs in their throats."

"Aww, come on. You must be a closeted fan if you know the words to their song."

He grimaced. "Excuse me, but my loyalty has always belonged to *Nsync."

That did it. Now I was rolling over with laughter.

"We can't help who we love, Bella," he added, maintaining his faux serious tone.

When my hysterics finally calmed, we decided to take a break from lessons for a bit, and brave the elements to try our hand at fishing once more.

"Hopefully it's been long enough now, and that bear has moved out of the area," I commented as I looked around the terrain cautiously.

"Jake looks pretty calm. I'm sure he will let us know if it comes back," Edward replied unconcerned.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before he was reeling in a huge fish. We had another delicious meal, and decided to bring in a bunch of snow every night, to store our leftovers inside.

Since Edward and I connected on a more intimate level, time seemed to move surprisingly faster. A few weeks went by like it was nothing, and we experienced one of the first almost warm days outside.

"Wow, it feels so good out here," I said as we sat on the porch and just soaked up the vitamin D. We only had one chair, so of course I was sitting on his lap. The sky was like a painting with all the brilliant colors of the sunset, and it was pure serenity.

"The snow should be starting to melt now," Edward mumbled. His comment made us both quiet as we contemplated what that meant. I wasn't sure which was more daunting – the thought of trekking out of there in the hope of finding civilization, or the very idea of being in civilization again. We had almost grown comfortable in our isolated home, and a part of me didn't want to ever leave.

"Are you worried about what it will be like back in Seattle?" I asked Edward.

"It'll definitely be strange," he replied.

"Yeah… I can't even imagine it. Everyone must think we're dead by now."

"Maybe we should just… stay dead. Find our way down this mountain, and then go straight to Tahiti or something."

I laughed. "Don't you want to see your parents?"

"I guess so… I do feel bad that they think both their kids are dead."

My heart sank. "Oh Edward, I didn't even think about that. They must be besides themselves."

"Yeah, but by now they're probably starting to heal. I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. They really are great people… but… I guess… it's just a lot of pressure. They have these thoughts and ideas of how everything should be."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my failed marriage for one thing."

"Oh."

"I don't know. A part of me thinks I held on to that sinking ship for so long because I didn't want to upset my mom. How pathetic is that? I probably wouldn't have even married her in the first place if my parents weren't always pushing for it."

"So, you think they're going to be upset when they find out?"

"I just have always had this need to try to please them. Like, they lost Bree, so it was all up to me to make them proud to be parents, or something. I probably need a fucking therapist."

"I understand how you feel. My mom died when I was little, and my dad a few years ago. It's silly, but since they're both gone now, I feel like there's even more pressure on me to make them proud. Like, they're in heaven, so they're _always_ watching. My mom wanted to see the world, but she never left Forks. Born there, and died there. I guess that's why I wanted to be a photographer. It's an excuse to do what she never got a chance to do - travel."

"I think that's really cool actually. I was supposed to go back overseas next year… I really love it over there… except for the dog meat," he said with a wink. "Seeing the world is a beautiful thing."

I nodded. "I would love to go overseas," I said wistfully.

"Really?" he asked surprised. "You've never been?"

"Nope. I've pretty much kept to this continent so far. I've been all over the U.S., and Mexico. Parts of Canada. I would really like to go to Asia… Oh, and Africa. I could only imagine what kind of shots I could get out there."

"So why didn't you go sooner? I mean, instead of going to Alaska for your National Geographic shoot, you could have gone on an African safari or something?" he asked curiously.

I shrugged. "I guess Alaska was just closer to home… and cheaper, of course. I've actually traveled a lot this year for my photography, but nothing I shot before had been good enough for Nat Geo. So, with all my savings already gone, I had to use what little we had set aside for…. _after the wedding_ ," I said the last part slowly.

"You used your honeymoon money to go on a solo trip to Alaska?" Edward asked incredulously.

I smiled absently, and shrugged. "Not all of it, but yeah. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to take pictures for that magazine… I couldn't pass it up."

"It's nice that…he was so understanding about that," Edward said awkwardly.

We had discussed his relationship status a few times, but we had yet to discuss mine. In fact, in thinking about Garrett at that moment, I couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt due to just how little I had actually thought of him. He had always been my biggest support system. My rock. He was the one who encouraged me to quit my desk job to pursue photography full time. Sitting here, happy in another man's arms, I suddenly felt like a horrible person, and I felt the most horrible over the fact that I had fallen so quickly for Edward. Sure, it felt like we crashed a lifetime ago, but in reality, it hadn't been very long at all.

I spent the rest of the day in a funk. I just couldn't get past feeling like a horrible person. I had always hated cheaters. It was nothing I would have ever done under normal circumstances. But as Edward crawled into bed next to me that night, I knew my body was going to beg for his.

Everything about Edward was perfect. He was a little skinny from malnourishment, but even still, he was so beautiful.

Despite my guilt fueled funk, we made love that night with just as much passion as our first time. By the next morning I was back to fully submitting to my dedication to Edward. Like the other brief moments I thought about my fiancé back home, I quickly put him out of my mind and just enjoyed my time with the incredible man before me.

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before I was undesirably thinking of Garrett yet again…

"You took your ring off," I commented when I noticed Edward's bare left hand as he was stoking the fire one morning.

"Well, in all honesty, it just slipped off a minute ago when I was outside coming back from the outhouse. I don't know if it's the cold, or if my fingers have thinned out a bit since coming here. Either way, it was long overdue. My marriage is over. No sense in keeping that ring on."

I reflexively twirled my engagement ring. I had done it unconsciously, but Edward definitely noticed.

"You don't have to take yours off," he said quietly. "I understand."

What did he understand exactly? I had no idea. I didn't even understand it myself. I thought we should discuss it more, but the truth was I simply didn't want to. I was much happier not discussing it, or even thinking about it in any way. I was sincerely happy there with Edward, and even though I hated having my relationship with Garrett so open-ended, I still preferred to enjoy the time I was having, and not worry about anything out of my reach. Perhaps I was just a coward after all.

I made the decision to let go of my guilt, however that was easier said than done. For the life of me, I just couldn't kick that feeling. It wasn't even about Garrett. Not really, anyway. It was everything. It was the warmer days, and the idea of the snow melting. It was the formidable prospect of hiking back to a world I no longer felt connected to. There were just so many uncertainties.

"Hey, come outside for a minute," Edward said while peeking his head into the cabin. He had gone out to cut wood for the fire, but as I followed him out, I realized he had definitely gotten sidetracked.

"What the…" Looking at his little project, I was absolutely speechless. "Why?"

Edward playfully scoffed. "What? You don't know what this is?"

I smiled despite myself. "An angry snowman mother trying to round up her ten rambunctious children?" I guessed.

"No! This is the final battle in Game of Thrones. Since we're stuck here and missing season eight, I decided to make an ending myself. This is the giant… See the ice dragon?" he said while pointing to a particular mound of snow.

I pressed my lips, and reluctantly shook my head. "I'm sorry. I have no idea what you're talking about."

He huffed. "Don't tell me you don't watch Game of Thrones?"

"Sorry, no. Alice tried to get me to watch it a few times, but it was like a gory porno. I just didn't get it."

"You have no idea what you're missing! Listen, you have to promise you'll watch it someday. From the beginning. Season one, episode one. That's the only way to watch it."

I smirked and shook my head. "You just said there's eight seasons."

"You could binge it in only a few weeks," he tried convincing me.

"I don't think I've ever watched that much TV in my life," I argued.

"You don't watch TV? What do you do in your free time?"

"Read. Cook. Go to the beach. Spend time with friends. I don't know. I was always busy. Garrett and I live together, but there were times we hardly saw each other. We were both so busy all the time."

The strange look on Edward's face made me immediately clam up. I had mentioned Garrett yet again, and I could tell it bothered him. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, unsure of what else to say.

"Sorry? For what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know… I just am."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he tried assuring me, but I wasn't convinced. I just kept feeling guilty. Guilty for thinking of Garrett, and guilty for not thinking of him. It just started feeling like it was a lose-lose situation.

That evening Edward continued with his guitar lesson, and I tried like hell to be fully engrossed. It took a while to get into it, but just as I was finally able to concentrate, we heard a strange noise coming from right outside the cabin door.

"What's that?" I asked.

Jake's head popped up from a sound sleep, and he immediately started growling.

"Something is out there," Edward said as he slid off the bed to investigate. He got within a couple feet from the window, when he suddenly jumped back, and a giant bear face appeared outside the dirty glass. "Holy crap!" Edward said, startled.

Jake began barking incessantly, which made the bear groan, before moving out of view.

"Did it leave?" I asked with my heart racing.

"I'm not sure," Edward replied quietly. He went back to the window, and looked around.

At first he clearly didn't see it, but then – "Oh SHIT!" he shouted, making me jump.

"What?" I cried, but he didn't have time to answer, and he didn't have to. He grabbed the end of the sofa bed, and pushed it in front of the door, just as there was a loud bang and a huge dent appeared. The bear was trying to claw its way in.

"Oh my god!" I cried in a panic.

The bear continued to bang and claw at the door, just as Edward continued to pile anything he could move in front of it.

After a moment, my petrified fear wore off, and I too jumped into action, just trying to do anything I could to help.

When the bear was finally convinced he wasn't getting in through the door, he moved back to the window.

"He's going to break the glass!" I screamed in horror.

Edward then picked up the table, and thrust it as hard as he could towards the ground. Once it was broken into pieces, he ran to the closet and got the hammer and nails. There was no way to cover the windows completely, but it seemed to do the trick, and the bear finally lost interest.

"Fuck, that was close," Edward said after several minutes of quiet tension.

"Do you think it's really gone?"

"I sure hope so… but my uncle did tell me the Alaskan bears can be a bit of a problem. Once they know there's food somewhere, they pretty much hang out."

"That's not good," I said worriedly. "We can't just stay inside all the time. We need to go out to fish, and let Jake run off some steam. Hell, we have to be able to go out to blow off some steam ourselves. Not to mention use the outhouse."

"I know. We just need to think of something."

"Speaking of outhouse," I whined.

"You're going to have to go back to peeing in a bowl for now." Snickering, he teased, "Aww, it's like old times."

"I'm not peeing in a bowl," I pouted.

"Then you need to hold it."

Stupid fucking bear.

….

With the bear stalking the area, we kept ourselves cooped up inside for the next few days. The walls felt like they were closing in on us the longer we were inside. That cabin was just too small to be locked in for that long, but we had no other choice. But when our "toilet" bowl really started to stink, we just couldn't take it anymore.

"I have to dump this," Edward said one particularly stinky afternoon.

"But, the bear…"

"Hopefully it's gone by now. I'd hate to be stuck in here any longer than necessary. We won't know unless we look."

"I just wish we had a gun or something."

"Hey, where's the flare gun?" he asked. "There's one more flare left, right?"

"You said we should save it in case there's a plane."

"We have seen a total of zero planes since we crashed, so I think it's smarter to use the gun for protection at this point. It probably wouldn't kill a bear, but at the very least, a flare could scare it away."

I nodded in agreement.

We dug out the flare gun, and just as I was about to follow Edward outside, he turned to stop me.

"Stay in here with Jake. I'll be right back," he said while taking the gun out of my hands.

"What? No way! I'm going with you," I insisted.

"It's too dangerous. Just let me go out alone first, and then…"

"Safety in numbers," I interrupted him. "Together, remember? Besides, how are you going to hold that gun ready, and carry the poop pot outside?"

"Good point," he conceded. "Okay, you hold the gun. But remember, we only have one shot. Don't pull the trigger unless absolutely necessary, and make sure you hit your target."

"You don't have to lecture me, Edward. I'm far more knowledgeable of guns than you are."

He nodded. "True. I apologize. Let's go."

He handed me back the gun, and then after clearing the doorway, he twisted his face in disgust while picking up the nasty pot full of nasties.

"I sure hope that bear is long gone so we never have to do this again," he grumbled.

"Amen to that," I agreed.

He set the pot back down by the door, and then slowly turned the handle. He peeked out first, and waited a few moments, before turning to grab the pot.

"I don't see it. Be ready just in case."

I nodded once, and out we went.

"Wait! Don't let…. Jake out," Edward said as the pup ran past him.

"Why not? I'm sure he needs to go poop too. The poor dog hasn't gone at all since we've been stuck inside."

"Yes, but if that bear is anywhere in the area, Jake is going to search him out and get himself killed."

"Oh, I didn't think of that," I said guiltily. Like a mama concerned for her baby, I scanned the direction Jake had run off to, and thankfully he was just frolicking in the snow and relieving himself.

Edward and I both exhaled a sigh of relief.

"Well, the bear isn't here right now, or he'd be going nuts," Edward concluded.

I relaxed my gun arm a bit, however I still kept a firm grasp on the trigger, just in case.

…

For the next few days, life slowly returned to some form of normalcy. We remained on red alert, and kept the flare gun with us whenever we were outside, but the bear seemed to have moved on. The one good thing about our close call with the animal was that it kept my mind busy, and I wasn't as consumed with the guilt I was feeling previously. It was still there, of course - always lingering in the background, but I tried like hell to ignore it as best as possible. I only hoped I did a good enough job to convince Edward… but somehow, I doubted it.

Every time Garrett did slip into my mind, even momentarily, I'd reflexively look up at Edward, and he'd always be staring right back at me, as if he could read my mind and was hurt by my thoughts. I hated that feeling. I hated the idea of upsetting Edward in any way, but especially about something like that. Something that didn't even matter while we were isolated up on that mountain. Garrett may as well have been on a different planet, because that's how far away he felt from where we were. Everyone, and everything, felt like a distant memory. All that mattered was Edward, and Jake, and me. I truly, sincerely, believed that.

But like the changing of seasons, my entire world was about to shift once again…

"It's actually warm out here right now," Edward commented as twilight filled the sky with colors above us. It was the best time for fishing, so we were out at the water, and had just dropped the line in. "I mean, it's warm-warm… not just cold-warm."

"It's not exactly Hawaii, but yeah, I know what you mean," I said while taking off my groves and scarf. It was still too cold to go without jackets, but the season was definitely changing.

Our time in the cabin was almost over. However, I certainly didn't realize just how little time we had left.

A chill ran up my spine, and then…

"No, Jake!" I shouted as I looked up just in time to see him run off into the trees.

"It was the rabbit," Edward told me. "I saw it."

"Crap. Well, I'm sure he will be back soon."

But he didn't come back soon, and night was quickly closing in.

"I'm going to go look for him," I said while standing.

"Bella, he's a dog. He can handle himself. It's almost dark. You certainly don't need to be wandering into the woods alone at night."

"Come with me then," I suggested.

"I need to get these fish cleaned, and inside on ice, before it attracts predators. Come on, Jake will be fine."

I understood what he was saying, but I couldn't shake that horrible feeling I was having. Something was wrong. Something was about to happen. I could just feel it.

"I'm just going to go look at the edge of the tree line."

Edward huffed. "Fine. Take the gun with you, and come right back. Bella, please don't actually go into the forest."

"I promise."

It was slightly terrifying walking alone towards the trees. My instincts were on high alert, and my intuition was going crazy with some kind of warning… I only wished I was able to properly decipher it.

I was concerned that Jake was in danger, little did I know he was the only one who wasn't…

A deep rumble noise made me jump, however it didn't come from the trees in front of me, it came from behind.

I automatically turned, and there, in the distance, was the bear. It appeared to be swiping its massive paw at something in front of the cabin. It wasn't until whatever it was fell to the ground, that I realized it had actually just attacked Edward.

My heart stopped….

...

 *****A/N: I'm running from all your rotten tomatoes on this one. Hold on to your hats, it's about to get real (eeek!)**

 **As always, thank you so much for reading!**


	15. Pieces

* **A/N** _ **:** Slightly early update. Take a deep breath with this one, and I'm sorry in advance…_

 _..._

 **Chapter 15 – Pieces**

My heart stopped, and the entire world seemed to freeze in place. Edward had just been attacked, and I was standing several dozen yards away, paralyzed with fear.

It wasn't until Jake whizzed passed me, and headed straight for the bear, that I actually snapped out of it enough to jump into action.

I chased after Jake as fast as my weak legs could move through the snow. I may as well have been running through glue, as it seemed to take an excruciatingly long time to get back there. By the time I approached the cabin, Jake had already jumped in to try to defend Edward's limp form. He would undoubtedly fight until death for Edward, and in that moment, I immediately knew I would do the same. That bear was going to have to go through Jake, and me, if he wanted to even sniff Edward again.

The bear growled at Jake, but did not attack him. He seemed to have a one track mind, and his focus was on Edward. He swiped his huge paw at his body one more time, but then Jake latched on to that same paw with all the strength in his jaw.

In the panic and chaos, I almost forgot I had the flare gun, _almost_. I took aim, and as soon as Jake moved the slightest bit out of the way, I fired.

A perfect shot. It hit the bear right between the eyes.

The bear let out a deafening growl, and I feared it only pissed him off. But between the blow to his face, the blaze from the flare, and Jake continuing to bite the hell out of him, the bear finally retreated. I prayed to god, and all things holy, that it was truly leaving for good.

"Edward!" I screamed in horror as I sunk down to my knees beside him. Without even taking a moment to assess his injuries, I just scooped him into my arms, and tried like hell to hold him together.

Thankfully, he was still breathing. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not, but he was awake, and fully aware of everything happening…

"Bella," he murmured, surprisingly calm.

"Oh, Edward. Thank god," I said through my tears, releasing him just enough so I could look into his perfect face. There was some blood in his beard, but other than that there wasn't any visible injuries that I could see. I wasn't stupid enough to think he escaped unscathed, but at that point, I was just grateful he was able to talk at all.

"I'm okay. We need to get inside before it comes back," he said, forcing the words out as if they were painful.

"Where are you hurt?" I asked him worriedly while stroking his beard. Somehow, when I did so, I ended up putting more blood into his beard, which just confused me. I looked at my hands, and to my horror, they were covered in blood.

My heart dropped. _Where was it all coming from?_

"I… I'm not sure. I think…" He reached down to his stomach, and that's when I noticed just how ripped his clothing was.

I slowly peeled back the shreds of fabric, and gasped.

There was so much blood, and it was pouring out of his abdomen in waves.

"Is it bad?" he asked, clearly trying to stay calm for my benefit.

I wanted to freak out, and inside I was, but as I looked into his stressed eyes, I knew I had to be calm for him.

Somehow, by the grace of god, I managed to keep my emotions under control. "You're going to be fine. We just need to get inside so I can take a better look at it," I told him as steadily as possible.

He nodded. "Yeah. That's…" His eyes rolled, and my heart stopped.

"No, no, no, no! Babe, you need to try to stay awake, okay?" I said desperately, but somehow that desperation still sounded stern enough for him to focus his sight on me. "Hey," I cooed into his beautiful green irises. "I need your help, okay. I can't carry you inside. I need you to try to move a little."

Deep down I knew we were in serious trouble. If Edward couldn't move, I would never be able to get him inside on my own. Even with the warming temperatures, we would both end up freezing to death that night on the porch - That is, if that damn bear didn't come back first.

I looked around in a panic, but then Edward astounded me by trying to get up. His effort was all I needed. He just had to help move a little of his weight, and I was going to bear the rest.

It took every last ounce of strength I had, but somehow, together, we were able to get him inside.

"We need to secure the door again. That bear is going to come back," Edward mumbled. I had laid him down on the bed, but he was already trying to get back up. I knew then he had to have been in shock. I was no doctor, but even a moron could see that wasn't a good thing. His face was so pale.

"I got it. Just… stay there," I said, desperately trying to barricade the door as quickly as possible so I could figure out a way to stop his bleeding. After throwing a few pots in front of it, I ran to Edward, and peeled back his clothing again.

"Oh my god," I whispered, no louder than a breath.

"Is it still bleeding?" he questioned.

I reflexively covered my mouth with my hand, thus wiping his blood all over my face. I wouldn't have cared, but that's when he realized just how grave the situation was.

"Shit," he grumbled.

"Edward… what do I do?" I cried, with tears flowing down my cheeks. I truly meant to keep my emotions under control, I just wasn't strong enough to hold it all in.

"All you can do is try to stitch it up. Do you know where the sutures are?" he asked, showing no fear whatsoever.

I nodded, and then raced to where I had seen the medical bag last. I grabbed the needle and sutures, and then hurried back to him.

"Bella… I need you to do it. At this angle I won't be able to see it properly. I'll walk you through it, okay?"

I nodded again. Of course he couldn't stitch up himself. I wasn't that stupid, but at the same time, it was certainly a daunting and terrifying prospect.

I pulled out the thread, but then…

"There's not enough!" I cried. Between the stitches to my leg, and the stitches to Jake's torso, there just wasn't much left.

"It's okay. Go find the fishing line," Edward instructed.

I quickly found it, and followed his directions on how to thread it, but then I was stuck.

"There's so much blood. I don't even see where I need to stitch," I said, feeling completely overwhelmed.

"Get some water. Wash it off," he directed. "It needs to be as clean as possible anyway."

"Right," I said in a rush. We kept a fresh pot of melted snow by the fireplace at all times, so luckily I had enough that I didn't have to take the time to melt more right then.

I dipped some fabric into the water, and carefully started cleaning him. There was blood, and tissue, and pieces of fabric all matted into one big mess. If I had time to fully process it all, I knew I wouldn't have been able to get through it. However, I must have put myself on autopilot, because after a few minutes, I got the area clean enough to start trying to stitch it back together.

"There's just no clear way to close this up," I said, feeling like my heart was in my throat.

"Start with wherever you see blood coming out of," he instructed. "Just sew the skin together like you're sewing fabric."

I nodded, took a deep breath, and then got to work.

Edward was definitely in shock, or numbed by adrenaline, because he hardly even flinched when I began poking the needle through his flesh. I knew exactly how badly stitches hurt without pain meds, so he should have been screaming, or at the very least, his features stressed with pain, but he remained completely calm. It wasn't a good sign.

"Edward… can you… wiggle your toes?" I asked, worried he had a spinal cord injury or something.

"Yeah… Are they moving?" he asked unsure. Thankfully, his toes, were in fact, wiggling.

"Do you not feel this?" I asked as I grimaced through another stitch.

"I feel… something," he said, but then his eyes rolled again, and I knew he was going in and out of consciousness. He was losing too much blood.

"Edward!" I cried. "You need to try to stay awake, okay. Please, just try to keep your eyes open for me. I know it's hard, baby."

His eyes reopened, but the words that came out of his mouth next were gut-wrenching…

"Bella… I'm not going to survive this," he said so quietly that I almost didn't hear him. "Please… please, when you get out of here… please tell my parents that I'm sorry. For… not being better, just… for everything."

I wiped the tears from my face. "You can tell your parents anything you want yourself. You're not dying here."

"I can feel it," he disagreed. "Bella… I want you to know… I'm glad I had this time with you. Even now… even after this, I wouldn't change any of it. I love you."

"Stop!" I cried harder, making it nearly impossible to see what I was doing. We had never confessed our love for each other before, and I wasn't going to allow him to do it as a way of saying goodbye. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let my emotions get in the way of saving him, and I would save him. There was no way in hell I was letting him go right then. "No goodbyes. We are going to make it out of here together. That's what we promised, remember? Together."

"I can't…"

"Yes, you can!" I shouted at him. "You better not give up on me, Edward Cullen. You stay with me!"

I refused to slow or pause again. I continued to work until his wound was closed. I was no doctor, so I knew the chance of internal bleeding was severe, but I did everything I possibly could, and there was nothing left to do but wait.

I kept him talking as long as possible, but then he passed out, and somehow, I just knew he wasn't going to wake up again. I was sitting beside him, waiting for him to die… The problem was, I had never been a _"wait and die"_ kind of person.

"Jake… I'm going to find help," I said with conviction.

It was pitch black outside, but in a way, that almost made my decision easier. I couldn't be afraid of a forest I couldn't see.

So I got myself dressed, grabbed the flashlight, and stoked the fire to make sure Edward was going to be as warm as possible.

"You need to stay here with him, okay," I told Jake. "Protect him if that bear comes back."

Jake cocked his head to the side, and then barked once. I took that as his understanding.

"Good boy," I told him, as I patted his head, then returned to Edward.

"I'm getting help. I promise, I'm going to be back. You just need to hold on for me. Please, just hold on."

His eyes remained closed, but he did let out a small moan. I kissed his temple, and whispered I loved him, before grabbing a few more supplies, and then heading out. I pushed the chair in front of the outside of the door, hoping to help keep them secure inside, and then I immediately headed towards the trees as quickly as I could.

We had somewhat guessed which way the road was, and that's the way I was heading. There was a clear break between the trees, so I continued that way for what felt like hours.

Walking in the dark wilderness with only a flashlight, and a few things in my backpack, was terrifying, but my drive to save Edward overcame any and all my other fears. There was no greater fear than Edward dying. If I couldn't find help, I was slightly comforted by the fact that we would probably both be dead soon. For the first time since we crashed - _probably for the first time in my entire life_ \- I wasn't afraid to die. No matter what, we would find our way back to each other eventually. I knew that for a fact, and with every fiber of my being.

Even with my leg healed, that walk was excruciating. My heart pounded, my muscles ached, and my lungs burned like I was breathing in fire….but I just kept going. There was no giving up, no taking a break. I would walk until I found someone, or I would die trying. Those were my only options.

As dawn began lighting up the sky, I felt as though my body was going completely numb. I no longer felt my legs or my arms. Still, they kept moving forward… until they couldn't anymore. Exhaustion was beating me down into the snow, so I crawled. My legs could no longer support my weight, but I continued to push forward. It wasn't until I couldn't even crawl anymore that I started to accept that I had been defeated. However, that was the moment I got my miracle….

At first I thought it was a dream, but real or not, seeing the lights in the distance gave me enough motivation to somehow find just a little more energy.

"Help!" I screamed. But my voice was so raspy, even I could hardly hear it.

I gave it everything I had left inside of me, and I pushed my legs forward a few dozen more yards. When I got to a clearing, I felt like I was seeing and hearing everything from under water. It was all a blur, but I knew one thing for sure – I found people.

Of course, finding people meant nothing unless I could get their attention.

My vision was distorted, probably due to extreme exhaustion, but I could vaguely determine that I had stumbled upon, what I assumed, was a lumber company, clearing out a particular area of forest. We were probably still miles and miles away from any town, but all that mattered was that people were there, and even at that early hour, I could hear voices.

"Help!" I yelled again.

My eyes were too glossed over to see exactly what was happening, but there was definitely movement and sounds approaching me. People were yelling, and there was suddenly so much commotion around me that I was overwhelmed with bewilderment. So many voices I didn't understand. Too many faces I didn't recognize. I was so lost by everything that I may as well have been abducted by aliens.

"Please…" I tried communicating with the men as they began pulling me somewhere against my will.

 _Was I being carried?_ \- I couldn't feel my legs, so I could have still been walking and not even realized it.

"No… please…. My friend is in the cabin. He was attacked by a bear. He needs help. He's dying!" I cried, but they continued as if I hadn't said a word. _I did tell them all that out loud, right?_

When they refused to listen to me, I tried to scream louder, and when they tried to put me in the back of a transport of some sort, I began thrashing around.

"No! I can't leave without Edward. Please help him," I begged desperately.

As best as I could tell, there were two or three people surrounding me, and none of them were listening. They worked together to fight me into the transport, and once inside, they somehow strapped me to some kind of table. I was so confused, but after a sudden unexpected poke to my hip, everything went black...

…

 *****A/N: I know, I know, another evil clifie. I already apologized at the beginning of this chapter, but I'll say it again, I'm sorry!**

 **Thanks for reading. I'm off to hide from more of your rotten tomatoes being thrown my way. Lol.**

 **I really like the Wednesday and Sunday updates, so chapter 16 will be posted this coming Sunday!**


	16. Overwhelmed

**Chapter 16 – Overwhelmed**

I remembered feeling like I was fighting against the darkness. I remembered feeling as if we were running out of time. But that was all I remembered. That was the perplexing entirety of my memories until I finally defeated that darkness, and was able to open my eyes.

It was bright.

Too bright.

The smell of bleach burned my nasal passages.

There was cool air blowing on my face, or perhaps, that cool air was also isolated to my nose. I reflexively swatted away at whatever was causing it.

"Hey, hey, hey. Easy now," I heard a familiar voice say. It was warm and comforting, and suddenly I felt like I was waking up from some horrible nightmare… and yet, when my eyes finally opened, I felt like I was still stuck in that baffling dream.

"She's awake. I'm going to go get the nurse," I heard another familiar voice say.

I watched the direction of her departure, and then I looked back at the only other face left in the room.

"Hey, baby," he cooed while tenderly caressing my hair. Then tears started flowing down his cheeks. "I didn't think I was ever going to see you again."

Before I could even attempt to speak, a tear ran down my own cheek. _Was I crying from happiness, or was it something else entirely?_ I couldn't be sure.

"Garrett?" I finally managed to force out.

"Oh, babe… I can't even tell you how grateful I am that you're okay," he said emotionally, before bending over and kissing my lips. It was only a quick peck, but it took me by surprise enough to make me jerk backwards. "What's wrong?" he questioned concerned.

I looked around the room in a panic as my mind started clearing. I was obviously in a hospital, but at that moment, I only had one concern.

"We have to go back. Edward was attacked by a bear. He's dying. We need to help him," I said in a rush while yanking out my IV, intending to go save him myself.

Suddenly the room was crowded as a bunch of people came pouring in. It was chaos once more, and I was back to being scared and confused. Everyone was talking at once, and I felt like the walls were caving in on me.

"We need to go save Edward!" I finally screamed over the commotion.

"Bella, they got him," Garrett told me gently.

My vision blurred again, but this time, it was due to the buildup of tears. "He's here? How did he get here?"

"He's not in this hospital, but they found him, and he's doing okay," Garrett assured me softly.

"He's not in this hospital?" I repeated his words in confusion. "He's severely injured. How could he be anywhere else besides the hospital?"

"He is severely injured… too severe for this small hospital to handle. So once he was stable enough, he was moved."

"Yeah, that makes sense," I sighed slowly, knowing small town mountain hospitals usually weren't equipped to handle major trauma. I hated being away from him at all, but at least he was getting the help he needed.

"So, how did they find Edward in the cabin?" I questioned. "I never got the chance to tell anyone. They wouldn't listen to me."

"The loggers that found you said you were covered in blood and speaking nonsense, so they assumed you were injured…"

"Speaking nonsense?" I interrupted him. "I told them that my friend was hurt and needed help."

Garrett shrugged. "That's what the loggers said."

"Hypothermia can cause slurred speech and hallucinations. It's possible that what you thought you were saying, isn't what actually came out," a man, standing behind Garrett, interjected. He was wearing a white lab coat, so it was safe to assume he was a doctor.

"I was trying so hard," I said, feeling horribly guilty that I wasn't clearer. Had Edward not been found, I knew I would have never forgiven myself.

"Once the emergency crew got there," Garrett continued, "they checked you over and didn't find a source for all that blood. No major gashes, or any other explanation for it, so they quickly got a crew together on some snowmobiles, and followed your tracks back to the cabin you were staying in. They found him, and airlifted him out. He was barely holding on, but he's safe now."

"I need to see him," I said, trying to get up again, but the doctor intervened.

"I'm sorry, you aren't ready to be discharged just yet. Miss Swan, I'm Doctor Amun. I have been taking care of you for these last few days. We met already, but you were in and out of consciousness so I figured you wouldn't remember."

"Few days?" I spat. "I've been here for a few days?"

The doctor nodded. "Three, to be exact. You had severe dehydration, and your were hypothermic, with frostbite to both of your feet. The frostbite is nowhere near as extensive as I was anticipating, given your situation, and it has been responding very well to treatment. I'm expecting you to make a full recovery, and you should be back home in no time."

My stomach dropped from his words. Home. I had a sinking feeling that I would never feel quite at home again.

"I need to know how Edward is doing," I said, losing the battle with my emotions and letting the tears escape once more. "He… he didn't look very good the last time I saw him."

"I just spoke with Kate on the phone a bit ago," Garrett told me. "She said he's in a coma. The surgery to his abdomen went well, but he's in critical condition."

"He hasn't woken up at all?" I asked concerned. "What are his doctors saying?"

Garrett raised his shoulders. "Kate just said he has a pretty bad infection. They cut away a lot of infected tissue, and he had to have a skin graft, which I suppose all turned out okay. But they can't seem to get control of his fever, which is the most dangerous part for him. They're doing everything they can right now."

As horrifying as all that sounded, I knew deep down Edward was going to be okay. He had to be. We didn't survive everything we already had, just for him to die in a hospital. I hated not being able to see him, but knowing he was still alive, and off that mountain, was such a huge relief.

Knowing Edward was getting all the help he possibly could at the moment, I was able to worry about the next most important thing.

"Where's Jake?" I asked Garrett. When he scrunched his face in confusion, I started to panic. "My dog. Where is he?"

"Your dog? Honey, we don't have a dog."

"No, but I do. Where is he? I left him with Edward, but that was over three days ago now, so where is he?"

"Did any of the rescuers say anything about a dog?" Garrett asked someone over his shoulder, and it was only then that I realized my best friend had been sitting in the room the entire time.

"Alice!" I shouted at her – well, my voice wouldn't go louder than a raspy croak, but it felt loud to me.

"Hi BB," she said with tears streaming down her face, and then I was crying again too. She hugged me, and that was the first familiar feeling of my old self I had since I first crashed. Alice was my oldest friend, and since I lost my parents, she had become more like a sister. I was so incredibly grateful she was there. "I thought I was never going to see you again."

"I thought I was never going to be seen again too," I replied while trying to dry my face.

"I will have you know, we didn't get word of your crash until the next morning, and I was probably having the best hair up-do of my life for your wedding, girl. And you know I don't do up-dos."

I giggled. "I apologize for messing up your day."

She smiled, and then hugged me again. "I'm so glad you're safe. I've been lost without you. Promise me we will talk later when you're less overwhelmed."

I nodded. She knew me so well - I was overwhelmed, and all I wanted to hear or talk about right then was Edward recovering, and someone finding out what happened to Jake.

"Have you heard anything about my dog?" I asked her hopefully.

"No, but I will find out. Where did you get a dog up there in the vast wilderness anyway?"

"He was the pilot's."

"Mister Clearwater!" Alice shouted, making me jump. "Sorry. His family has been here wanting to speak to you as soon as you're up to it. Since he wasn't found in the cabin with Doctor Cullen, they're hoping you have some information about what happened to him."

My stomach twisted. I really didn't want to be the one to let his family know he didn't make it, but I suppose I owed him that.

"I'll talk to them. I'm sure they're anxious. But please find out about Jake."

"Of course." Alice kissed me on the cheek, and then hurried out of the room.

"A dog, huh?" Garrett asked quietly. The doctors had finally left, so it was just the two of us, and I was struck by a wave of awkward tension.

"He saved my life… more than once. I have to bring him home with me," I told him.

"Well… I guess I can up my allergy medicine… We will have to confine the cats to the bedroom and balcony for a while, until they get used to each other, but… I don't know. Mittens is getting up there in age. He's not going to adapt to living with a dog very easily."

"How are the cats?" I asked, having no idea what else to say. I honestly loved those cats, and I missed them, so it was the easiest path for the conversation to take.

"Good. They miss you like crazy."

I snorted. "They probably didn't even notice I was gone. Mittens only cares when he's hungry."

"Aw, but we love him though," Garrett said with a warm chuckle. The sound of his laugh was actually a little comforting, and I was reminded just how much I always enjoyed it in the past.

"So… everyone has been okay?" I asked after a few heavy moments of silence.

"As okay as can be expected. I feel like life has sort of been stuck in limbo since you disappeared. No one wanted to accept that you were… gone for good, but it's been so long…We started to give up," he admitted, getting unexpectedly emotional.

"Bells, losing you was the hardest thing I've ever been through, and that's even considering everything that happened overseas," he continued as tears poured down his cheeks. "These past ten weeks have been torture. I couldn't sleep for days. I felt like I was missing right along with you. I would have rather run over ten roadside bombs then ever have you missing like that. You know I would have spent every last cent we had to keep looking, but there was just no sign of you anywhere. It's been….excruciating."

Seeing him cry in that way, brought tears to my eyes as well. I had gone so long without thinking about him, that I had almost forgotten just how sweet he actually was. Garrett was probably the kindest, most compassionate human being I had ever known. I didn't deserve him.

"I knew you couldn't look forever," I told him sincerely, hoping to give him a little peace. "Even though we never saw any rescue planes overhead, we knew you were doing everything you could."

He dried his face with his hand. "You never saw the planes or helicopters because we never looked anywhere close to that cabin. Your plane must have veered way off course. They still haven't found the wreckage, so they were hoping you could help clue them into exactly what happened."

"Harry…."

Just then, Alice tentatively walked back into the room, with two people trailing closely behind her. I knew immediately who they were.

"Bella, this is Leah and Seth Clearwater, Mister Clearwater's kids," Alice introduced us.

"Hi…. I… uh… didn't spend long with your father… but he seemed like a very kind person," I said carefully.

Seth nodded. "So… he didn't survive," he assumed.

"I'm sorry, no. He had a heart attack… or something, in the air. That's why we went down."

"It wasn't the weather?" Leah asked, breaking down into harder sobs.

"The media blasted him, saying he should have known not to fly in storms like that," Seth explained while shaking his head with incredulity.

"Oh, no…. He seemed like an amazing pilot. He knew what he was doing. He just… couldn't have anticipated his health condition," I assured them gently.

They both cried for a few minutes, and when they calmed, they had the same concern I did.

"Did we hear Alice say something about Jake?" Seth asked hopefully. "That dog was such a huge member of our family. It would mean the world to us to get him back. It would be like having a piece of our dad again."

My heart sank.

"I left him behind to watch over Edward while I went to find help… I'm still trying to find out what happened to him," I said, trying to contain my sorrow from their words. I loved Jake like a member of my own family, but I could see just how much they loved him as well. The idea of not bringing him home with me was heartbreaking, but at that moment all that really mattered was finding him.

"I just left messages for the rescue teams about him," Alice said. "I'm waiting to hear back."

"Thank you, Alice," I said sincerely.

I said goodbye to the Clearwater's and promised to keep in touch, and then Alice and Garrett decided to head to the cafeteria for a while so I could rest. It was all so overwhelming, and even after sleeping for almost three days straight, I was exhausted. There was so much left to worry and stress about, but my mind was too drained to focus on any of it.

…

Over the next few days, I slowly began to get my strength back. The doctors insisted that I do some physical therapy for my frostbite, and still healing leg. The exercises they had me do were annoying more than anything, but Garrett was there every step of the way.

"Gosh, who would have thought we would ever be back here, huh?" he said encouragingly during one of my sessions. "I'll never forget how much you helped me after I was injured overseas, and I'm going to make damn sure I do the same for you. We won't stop until you feel exactly like your old self again."

I forced out a smile in response. I knew I had a lot of important things to discuss with him about our relationship, but every time I set my mind to do it, I lost the nerve.

Garrett and I had been together for so long. He saw me through the death of my father, and I saw him through the death of half his unit and his injury from the roadside bomb overseas. He was more than my partner, he truly was my family. He and our friends were the only family I had left. Up on the mountain it was easy to forget all that. Edward was literally my entire world, but being back in civilization without him, I was left feeling confused and overwhelmingly lost. Still, I owed Garrett the truth, so when everything slowed down, and we weren't constantly surrounded by doctors and nurses, I swore to myself I would confess everything.

…

On the third day of my physical therapy, the doctor surprised me by saying I would be released soon. That was also the day I received two devastating blows...

"So… I finally heard back from the rescue team… Apparently they saw Jake there, but left him after he bit three of them as they were trying to extract Edward," Alice told me.

"What?" I cried. "No! We have to go back…"

"The Clearwater's are funding a team to go up there and look for him. They aren't giving up."

I nodded, but it didn't make me feel much better. What if they couldn't find him? What if the bear came back and attacked him? He could be hurt, or worse… I just couldn't even imagine never seeing him again. We wouldn't have survived without him, and I was beyond devastated.

That devastation only grew when I received my second gutting blow later that same day.

"So, Kate finally got back to me with an update on Edward's condition," Garett said as the nurse brought me my dinner.

"Okay…" The look on his face made my heart sink to the depths of my stomach. "Garrett, please just tell me what's wrong with Edward."

"Oh, no… it's not bad. It's good actually. He woke up yesterday, and the doctors said he should make a full recovery."

Just like that, I felt like the elephant that had been sitting on my chest since Edward first got attacked, finally got up and left me the fuck alone.

"Thank god!" I said, with my first easy breath since the bear. I knew he was going to be okay, but knowing it in my heart, and being told it for a fact, were two entirely different things. It was such a monumental relief.

And then Garrett dropped the bomb.

"Yeah, and I guess he and Kate were having some issues before all of this, but she told me they were able to talk, and they've decided to give their marriage another shot."

My breath caught, and suddenly the room felt like it was spinning. It was such a ridiculous feeling since I should have been nothing but grateful he was going to pull through. He was so close to death that it was a miracle he had survived at all. It was amazing, and I was so incredibly grateful, but I was also gutted, and truly heartbroken. I was honestly just waiting for the right time, and trying to think of the right way to tell Garrett it was over between us, but all that fizzled away, and I was left feeling stuck.

Perhaps it was wrong and selfish of me. Perhaps I should have still told Garrett right away that I didn't love him the way that I should have, but I was a coward, and I was so incredibly lost. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. Nothing made sense anymore, and when I finally made it back to our apartment in Seattle, I felt like I was entering someone else's home. I didn't live there anymore. I didn't live anywhere. I was just a shallow shell of who I used to be.

I was just… no one.


	17. The Gift

****** _ ***A/N** : To everyone who saw the teaser image for this chapter on Facebook, I just want to say in advance, I'm sorry…._

 _…_

 **Chapter 17 – The Gift**

"Sorry for the mess," Garrett said awkwardly as we walked through the apartment. He kept grabbing laundry as we went, and trying to hide it.

"Don't bother, I know you're a slob," I said with a forced laugh.

"I would have cleaned up better if I knew you were coming home. As soon as I got word you were found, I basically dropped everything and raced to the airport. I barely had enough thought to throw some of my own clothes into a suitcase to take with me…. But yeah," he gestured to the clothes in his hands. "You know I'm a mess without you, baby. I guess it's a good thing Alice thought ahead enough to grab some clothes for you to wear home."

I smiled at him, but it quickly faded. "Everything looks… exactly the same," I commented. It should have made me feel better to be back in my normal, familiar, surroundings, but somehow it just made me feel even more despondent.

"Yeah well, this is your home. I'd never change it without you. Even when they stopped searching for you… I just couldn't bear the idea of moving any of your stuff."

I continued to scan the room, and then I spotted one of our cats.

"Milo!… Hi, baby," I cooed while approaching him. I nuzzled him, and smiled as he purred, but it wasn't long before he got bored of me and ran off. I knew that's how he was, but it still stung a bit. I would always love my cats, however their indifference towards my arrival back home only made me miss the bubbly happy Jake even more.

"Uh… Mittens should be around here somewhere. Jessica has been feeding them for us while I was gone."

"That's nice of her. I know she's not a big fan of cats."

"My sister just isn't an animal person, but she sure loves you. She probably wouldn't have done it if they were just my cats. But because she knows how much you love them, she was willing to do whatever she thought would make you happy."

"I'll be sure to call her later to thank her," I said, sincerely hoping I sounded happier than I felt at the moment.

"Oh hey, I almost forgot. Here are your things from the hospital," he said while handing me a plastic bag he pulled out of his suitcase. "They had to cut away your clothes, so basically it's just your boots and jewelry."

"Oh… Thanks," I said slowly while peeking into the bag. The boots were filthy and stunk, but then I found the necklace I never took off…and my engagement ring - _my engagement ring stained red with Edward's blood._

"Oh here, let me clean that off for you," Garrett said, attempting to swoop in and take the ring out of my hands.

"No, it's fine… I'll have it cleaned later," I told him, refusing to let him take it from me.

It may have been gross, and a bit psychotic, but the idea of washing Edward's blood off that ring was painful. In a perverse way, that was all I had left of him.

I ignored Garrett's slightly disturbed look of confusion, as I slipped the ring back onto my finger, without even attempting to wash it first.

I stared at my hands for a moment, lost in the vivid memory of seeing them covered in blood. It was traumatic, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to look at my hands without picturing the them soaked red again.

"Hey, it's okay, sweetheart," Garrett murmured, wrapping me in his arms far tighter than I was comfortable with. "God, you're shaking."

"No, I'm fine. I'm sorry," I said, pulling away from him, and immediately trying to busy myself with straightening up the living room.

"Bells, you don't have to do that," Garrett said, taking the couch cushion out of my hands. "I will clean up. Just… take a few minutes to decompress."

"I just…." Suddenly I started feeling dizzy, as if the walls were caving in on me once again. "I need to just… get some fresh air," I said before racing out to the balcony.

The Seattle skyline was beautiful, and I always used to love sitting on that balcony and just watching the city move below me, however, looking down at it now, made me feel almost claustrophobic some how. It was so artificial with far too many people, and vastly different than the Alaskan mountains that I had grown accustomed to. At this moment, being "home" for the first time in months, the feeling of homesickness was the absolute worst that I had ever felt before in my entire life.

I missed the mountains. Hell, I even missed the damn snow. Mostly, I missed Jake…and Edward - even though he shredded my heart into a million pieces. I just didn't understand it; he seemed so set on his divorce. I suppose near-death experiences can cause one to reevaluate their life. Even still, I truly wished Edward nothing but the best. I loved him enough to just want him safe and happy. If Kate Cullen is where his heart belonged, then I was grateful he found his way back to her…regardless of how badly it hurt me.

I did my best to bury my emotions and put on a brave face, but Garrett knew me better than that…

"I want you to know… I'm here for you, whenever you're ready to talk about everything you went through… If it takes weeks, I'll wait. If it takes years, I'll still be waiting. I know firsthand how difficult overcoming traumatic events can be. I have friends that still aren't over their time in Iraq."

"I didn't go to war," I said, not quite understanding the comparison.

"In a way, you did," he disagreed. "It was a battle to survive. I'm sure you fought that battle every single minute of every day. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and shell-shocked being back here. It doesn't make you weak… I know that's how you see yourself. You're not weak, Bella. You never have been."

His words were like a kick to the gut. He had no idea just how weak I actually was.

"Garrett… being in that cabin for so long… I started feeling… different. My feelings about everything and everyone… changed…"

"Bella, I don't want you forcing yourself to talk about anything before you're ready. There's no rush. Let's just focus on getting you readjusted back to normalcy," he encouraged.

I stared at him for a long moment, and even with the words right there on the tip of my tongue, I just couldn't force them out. I didn't want to hurt him, but I also didn't want to lose him. Not because I loved him the way I should and was so incredibly sorry for my betrayal…but because I was a selfish coward who didn't want to be alone. I never felt worse about myself than I did right then. I had an opening to confide in him and confess my true feelings. I had already started it even, but I let the words fizzle away like a hot summer rain. I was utterly disgusted with myself, which only dragged me further and further into the pits of desolation.

Garrett wanted me to come to our bed that night, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't even bring myself to go into the bedroom at all. I just slept on the couch, where I remained for the next several days. I got up to use the bathroom, and I even cooked dinner for Garrett while he was at work, but other than that I spent over a week just staring blankly at the walls in the living room, trying to make sense of the senseless world.

By the beginning of the second week of my return, Garrett must have let his worry get the better of him, because he called in reinforcements.

"You look horrible!" Alice said bluntly the moment she entered the apartment without even knocking.

"It's good to see you too," I said, hoping to sound funny but knowing I didn't.

"Look, no one knows what you went through up there on the mountain, but it's time to try to pick up the pieces and move on with your life," she said gently.

"I know," I replied while wiping the sweat off my oily face. I had only showered once since being in the apartment, but it pissed me off that I was already so greasy. I had gone weeks without cleaning myself on the mountain, and it didn't seem like I was anywhere close to being that stinky.

"Bella… maybe you should just call him," Alice suggested carefully.

"Call who?" I asked, genuinely clueless.

"Doctor Cullen. If anyone knows what you went through up there, it's him. I heard he was discharged from the hospital a few days ago. Call him. Maybe it would be comforting to hear his voice. I know you've been worried about him."

I shook my head. "No, I don't want to get in the way of his… adjustment back into his life. It's best if we both just… try to let it go and move on."

She nodded absently. "Yeah, I get it. A little over two months with the guy and you could probably use some space… maybe after a while, you can communicate on some level."

I nodded absently, but had no intentions on following through. Communicating with Edward on any level would have just been torture. I was grateful he was okay, and that's all that mattered.

"I do have some good news for you," she said with a smile.

I returned her smile despite myself. "I could always use some good news."

"Especially this particular good news. They had to abandon their search for the dog."

"What?" I cried.

"No, no, no, it's okay, because the guy who owns the cabin went out there and found him. He's back home with the Clearwater's."

"Are you serious?" I asked emotionally. "He's okay?"

"Yeah. He was checked out by a vet. He was underweight, and they had to dig some thorns out of his paws, but he's good. Seth said his sister is cooking for him to help fatten him back up."

"Thank god," I said, wiping away my tears. I still missed him like crazy, but he was okay and back with his family, and that was what truly mattered.

Alice hung out for half the day. We gossiped about our other friends, and caught up with all the latest happenings. It felt really good to hang out with her, and at times, I almost felt like my old self again…almost. When she left for the day, I was back to feeling empty.

…

"Hey, I have a surprise for you," Garrett said as I came out of the bathroom later that same week.

I scrunched my eyes in confusion, and even a little fear. I hated surprises, but I especially didn't want anything from Garrett, considering the state our relationship was in. I didn't deserve anything.

He smiled at my lack of enthusiasm. "Come on. You'll like this surprise," he insisted while grabbing my hand and leading me out to the balcony.

The moment I got outside, my heart jumped. "Jake!" I shouted with tears immediately building in my eyes.

The dog excitedly jumped on me, but my heart quickly sank.

"This isn't Jake," I said while petting the yellow lab that looked a lot like my friend, but simply wasn't.

"No, this is Buster. My buddy, Larry, and his wife fosters dogs, and when they got this fella, I thought he may make you miss Jake a little less."

I smiled at him, and pet the seemingly happy pup, but I knew it just wasn't going to work.

"This is sweet, really… but you can't replace one dog with another. Jake is more than a dog…he is like… a person, in a way. Seeing this guy just makes me miss him more," I said honestly as the tears flowed down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. Listen, why don't you just spend a little time with him, and if you can't connect, I'll take him back to Larry. He said they were actually planning to adopt him themselves, so I'm sure they will love having him back."

I nodded. "He seems very sweet, but… I think he would be better with Larry," I said, trying to dry my face and calm down.

It was just one more thing to make me feel even worse about myself. It was very sweet of Garrett to try to cheer me up with a dog, but I just couldn't break through that funk I was feeling.

The dog stayed with us for a few hours, and then Larry came and picked him up. He and his wife were excited to see him, so I knew it was the right decision.

My depression was hitting an all time low, and I wondered how I was ever going to dig myself out of it.

…

It wasn't until I received a peculiar box in the mail a few days later, that things finally started turning around again…

"What's this?" I asked Garrett as he was heading out the door for work.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I found it outside the door when I went to take out the trash. It's addressed to you, but there's no return address. I just hope it's not a bomb," he said with wiggling brows, before waving goodbye, and leaving me alone with the potential bomb.

"Hmm," I mumbled to myself while examining the box.

It wasn't really heavy for its large size, but it definitely had some weight to it. I grabbed the kitchen shears, and cut the tape.

Obviously, I didn't really think it was a bomb, but something made me open the box slowly anyway, and the first thing I noticed was what looked like a guitar case.

"What the heck?"

I took the case out of the box, and popped it open. Sure enough, there was an extremely nice, spanking new, electric guitar inside. It was a beautiful instrument, but it only made me that much more confused. Inside the strings, I found a small piece of paper that read – _'Acoustic is too slow for you. This seems more your style.'_

I shook my head in befuddlement, but then I noticed a few more items in the box. Under some familiar old sweaters, there was a smaller rectangular leather box, and I gasped.

"My camera!" I shouted as I pulled it out and looked inside. The batteries were dead, so I quickly replaced them and turned it on. Sure enough, the memory card held every last one of my precious shots from Alaska.

Not only were there pictures of the humpback migration, but also the last shot I took of the plane wreckage, along with the cave we slept in, the white fox, the moose, and a ton of Jake playing in the snow. But the ones that stood out the most were the few I took of Edward. He never wanted me taking his picture, but I managed to snap a few when he wasn't looking.

I must have spent over an hour just staring at Edward's perfect face in my camera. It hurt like hell, and I missed him more than ever, but I just couldn't look away. It wasn't until one of my cats jumped on my lap that I even remembered there were more items left inside the box.

"Dad," I said emotionally as I found his glasses amongst the packing peanuts. Those glasses meant the world to me, and I was so grateful to get them back.

Last, I found a manila envelope with a folded letter taped to the front. I was still confused as to who sent it all to me, which was stupid - The guitar should have clued me in right away. However, it wasn't until I read the letter, that it all became clear…

…

 _Dear Bella,_

 _I've wanted to call you so many times, but every time I tried, somehow it just felt wrong. I'm sorry for that. Perhaps some things are better left unsaid. Or maybe I'm just a coward. I suppose all that really matters is that we manage to move on with our lives, and I don't have a doubt you have already done so. You will always be the strongest person I have ever known. I owe you my life, and so much more that I could never repay you for._

 _In addition to my gratitude, I needed to send you a few things. As soon as I was able, I mailed a check to the owner of the cabin, as a way to pay for the food we used, and any damages the bear incident caused. In return, Mr. Waylon shipped me the items we left behind. Clothing from your backpack, but more importantly, your camera and your father's glasses. I know how much they mean to you, so I'm so very glad he was able to return them._

 _I also got you a little gift. Never let that fire burn out, Bella. Keep moving forward. Keep learning. Keep playing. Keep being the amazing person you are… because "I want it that way!"_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _Edward_

...

I was in tears from his words, and from getting my camera and glasses back, however the last line in his letter baffled me a little - that is, until I opened the manila envelope.

"Oh my god," I said with an emotional giggle. It was Backstreet Boys sheet music, with the song _'I Want It That Way'_ right on top. I was crying and laughing, and even though I absolutely loved everything he sent, it just made me miss him that much more. It re-opened that gaping wound in my heart, but at the same time, it was almost cathartic in a way.

I had started thinking our time together wasn't real and I had made it all up, but that couldn't be further from the truth. What we had, however brief, was very real, and I knew I would carry those memories with me wherever I went, for the rest of my life. Even if he didn't return my feelings, I had truly experienced what it felt like to love someone intensely. I would have died for Edward, and I wanted to die without him. It was a pain greater than any other, emotionally or physically, but it was worth it. I'd take a moment of that level of passion, over a lifetime of lackluster love. Even knowing the agonizing outcome, I wouldn't have changed a moment of it. With that realization, I knew it was finally time to tell Garrett the truth….

…

 *****A/N: Well, there you have it. The picture of the dog with Bella on FB was not Jake. I know, I know, cheap shot. I'm sorry. I'll go hide now... Just kidding. I'll be on FB if you want to yell at me. Lol. Believe it or not, we are getting closer to some happiness. Just have a little faith.**


	18. Letting Go

**Chapter 18 – Letting Go**

"Hey BB," Alice said as she walked into the apartment without knocking. "Whoa, what's all of that?"

I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Garrett to come home, and I was fiddling with my new guitar. The contents of Edward's package was surrounding me, so I sighed.

"Edward sent me my things that I left in the cabin," I explained, trying like hell to keep my tone casual.

"That's cool…but why do you have a guitar?"

I shrugged. "We had a lot of time on our hands, so he started teaching me how to play. He must have known how much I enjoyed it, so…he sent me one as a gift…I guess."

"That's some gift!" she said excitedly. "That's a limited addition 2018 Fender. Super expensive. Daum gurl! Why wasn't I the one stranded with Doctor McDreamy? You already have a great boyfriend. If he wasn't married, I would definitely be asking for the hook-up. Did you see his picture on TV when they were reporting you were found? He looked a little grumpy, but hot as hell."

I laughed once. "No, I guess I missed it… Alice, you don't play guitar, how do you know this was expensive?"

"Uh, my brother plays, and he drives my entire family nuts with it. That jerk actually asked us to all pitch in to buy him one. The nerve of him! My mom and I checked them out. Super, super expensive… like, super."

I looked down at the guitar in my hands, and grimaced. If I wasn't already in love with it, I might have been tempted to send it back to him - not that I had an address to send it to. Perhaps he just felt guilty for the way he ditched me. I was usually uncomfortable with extravagant gifts, but in this case, I wasn't about to give it up. If that guitar helped ease his conscience, then I was glad. I honestly, sincerely, wished him no ill will.

"Hey, is that your camera?" Alice then asked.

I looked at it lying on the couch beside me, and then nodded.

"Can I see?" she asked, but before I could answer her, she was already going through my pictures. "Wow, these are really good. You know, funny coincidence, I just so happened to intercept a letter from Nat Geo when I was picking up your mail while you were still in the hospital. I started a correspondence with one of the editors, just keeping them updated about your recovery, and they said that if you have any pics from your ordeal, they'd love to see them. That competition you wanted to enter is long over, but they are very interested in any shots you may have taken in the Alaskan wilderness."

"Are you kidding?" I asked, ambivalent. On one hand it was a dream come true, but I just couldn't imagine publishing any of those pictures. They all just felt so private. "I'll need to think about it for a while," I told her quietly.

"What is there to think about? These are amazing – Oh wow!" she said strangely. I peeked over her shoulder to see what she was seeing, and there Edward was, looking back at me once more. His eyes were so deep, and even in a digital image, I could almost feel him looking right through me. His words echoed in my mind – 'Never let that fire burn out' – and somehow, I found myself agreeing to meet with the magazine editor.

"You won't be sorry about this!" Alice said excitedly. "Now… can we please get back to Doctor McDreamy here? What's up with him? Any hot brothers or doctor friends he could set me up with?"

I smiled at her. "What happened to that guy, Ben? The last time we talked about boys you were smitten with him."

"Eh, you know how that goes. So… tell me what's up with the doc? Any brothers?"

I shook my head. "Sorry. His only sibling passed away when they were kids."

I had spoken casually, but the subject matter immediately sent me spiraling down into a deeper funk, and unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Alice noticed.

"Okay, now I see it," she said gently.

"See what?" I asked, confused about what she was even referring to.

"The depression. Garrett told me you've been super down since you got back, so I decided to come over here and figure out why. What's going on, BB? This seems like something bigger than just a slow readjustment. Garrett said you've hardly spoken to him, and the couple times he tried to embrace you, you pulled away and got weird. Talk to me, hon."

I didn't realize that I was doing such a shitty job at hiding my emotions, but I suppose it was for the best. I planned to talk to Garrett that evening anyway, so perhaps it was good to discuss it with Alice first. Saying it all out loud was going to hurt like hell, but it may very well be exactly what I needed.

"I… I have been… down. Being back here… it really doesn't feel like my home anymore. I feel weird and off all the time… like I'm in someone else's space, or something. Garrett… he's been so great, and patient, and understanding, but… I know I can't keep stringing him along anymore. It's not fair to him."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're thinking about ending things with Garrett?" she asked incredulously. "Bella… whatever you're going through, I'm sure if you give it time, you will start feeling more yourself again. You love Garrett, I know you do. You two have been through so much together for so long…"

I nodded with agreement. "I do love Garrett… I always will, but…" I shook my head as tears flooded my vision.

"Hey. It's okay," Alice cooed while hugging me. "Whatever it is, it's going to be okay."

"No, it's not," I disagreed. "Being in that cabin for so long… it was hard to think about everything we left behind. I went days… probably weeks without Garrett ever even entering my mind. Edward was… he was my entire world for… ten weeks. Gosh, that doesn't even sound like a long time. This is so stupid! Garrett was deployed for so much longer than I was gone for, and yet… I never missed him as much as I miss Edward now."

"This is about Edward?" Alice asked softly.

I reluctantly nodded, but then I shook my head. "It's more than him. It's everything. I feel like a different person now. I was really happy with Garrett before. We had a good life, you know? We spent a lot of time apart, and we were both okay with that. It was so…comfortable, and easy. We hardly fought. Garrett is just the sweetest guy, and I feel so stupid for feeling this way. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm going to walk away from an amazing man because I'm pathetically in love with someone who doesn't love me in return… someone who is married!"

"Did you two… sleep together?" Alice asked gently.

I nodded shamefully as the tears just kept flowing down my cheeks. "A lot actually. How horrible is that? He said he and his wife were going to divorce, and I foolishly believed him. I knew it was wrong, but… God, I loved him so much… I still do. I can't turn it off, and I've tried so hard."

"No one can help how they feel, or control who they love, Bella," Alice said supportively.

"I know… I really don't want to hurt Garrett, but… he deserves to be truly loved by someone… Damn it!" I shouted. "I loved him, I really did. If I never went on that stupid trip, I would have married Garrett already, and we would have been fine. I didn't even realize that I didn't love him enough. I would have never known there was bigger love if… if I never met Edward. It just really sucks."

"Tell me about him," Alice requested.

I shrugged. "Edward is… a mess, really. He's stubborn, and closed off, and so frustrating! He's moody as all hell too. I don't get it! I don't understand why I love him so much, except to say that under all those maddening traits, he honestly has the most beautiful, deep, passionate soul I have ever encountered. He has so much love inside of him, but he hides from it. He keeps it buried under so much pain that he carries around with him everywhere he goes. Even now, I just… I just want to hold him. God, I'm so pathetic!"

"No, you're not," she insisted softly. "Bella, you're not pathetic at all. Loving someone, and being in love, are two different things. You can't help how you feel, and you certainly can't spend your life in a relationship that you aren't passionate about."

"I know… it's not fair to him. I've been such a jerk, and that was never my intention."

"It's not fair to him, but it's not fair to you either. You deserve more than to settle for lackluster love too. Even if it feels impossible now, you will get over this heartache, and then you will be free to search out that passionate love again. Now that you know what it feels like, never settle for less, Bella. I know being alone seems scary, but once you find you again, maybe you'll be ready to open your heart again too."

"You know… some people will never know what that type of all-encompassing love feels like… Even if it never happens for me again, I'm… grateful for it. I hope Edward is happy… I really do. And I hope Garrett can forgive me and move on too."

"He will. I'm sure in the long run he will see it was for the best," she said confidently. "Listen, why don't I help you pack your things, and when Garrett gets home, I'll go down to the corner coffee shop so you can talk. As soon as you're done, I'll take you to my place."

I sighed. "Alice, you only have a small studio. I don't want to impose and crowd your place."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Nonsense! You are my very best friend. We're practically sisters. I know you'd do the same for me, and you have in the past. Come on. You can stay with me until you get back on your feet, and then we will both work on finding our Mister Right."

"Thank you, Alice," I said emotionally.

She nodded. "It's going to be rough and painful. You guys have been together for a long time, but… you can't make a square peg fit into a round hole."

I scrunched my brows, unsure I understood her analogy, but then I just went with it a nodded. Alice often said odd things, but I certainly loved her for it.

We got right to work packing all my belongings, but then I took a break to do something that was also long overdue – I washed the blood off my engagement ring. I cried as I watched the pristine color of the diamond return, but after a minute, I took a deep breath, and set the ring on the counter so that Garrett could have it back. In a way, that little act was my first step of letting go of both Garrett and Edward. I had to. I couldn't keep existing in that state.

We were just finishing up with the packing, when Garrett walked through the door.

"Hey… what's going on?" he asked slowly.

"I'll be right down at the coffee shop. Text when you want me to come back," Alice said, and then gave Garrett a parting sympathetic smile, before grabbing the two boxes and leaving us alone to talk.

"So… are you going on another trip so soon?" Garrett asked awkwardly. "You sure are packing a lot."

I took a deep breath. "Garrett… you are the last person I ever wanted to hurt… but…"

"Bella, just wait… okay? Whatever you're about to say, just wait. You've only been off that mountain for a few weeks. Just give it some more time. I'm sure you will start feeling like your old self soon."

I shook my head with more tears streaming down my face. "I tried to… give it time, but… Garrett, when I was in that cabin with Edward… we turned to each other. Not just as survivors, but for everything. We kept each other sane and alive. We…"

"You slept with him?" he cut me off, clearly knowing where I was going with my admission.

I nodded. "He was my entire world…for what felt like much longer than the actual ten weeks we were together. We didn't know if we would ever see anyone else again. I'm so sorry… that I betrayed you. It would have never happened under normal circumstances."

"I know," he said gently. He was quiet as he let it all sink in, and then he sighed. "You were existing in an extenuating circumstance. I've been in life threatening situations before, but I still can't pretend to know what you went through. I understand why you haven't wanted to talk about it before, but I still think that what you're feeling right now could be temporary…"

"Garrett," I tried interrupting him.

"Look, you were in a horrible, life threatening, situation. You probably thought you were going to die multiple times. I understand why you turned to him, and I don't blame you. But you're not on the mountain anymore. You both have your own lives. He returned to his, and even if you feel like you're not ready to return to yours, that doesn't mean you won't in the future. You just need more time."

"Garrett, it's just… I love him," I murmured painfully. "You should be with someone who…can give you their whole heart, and I can't anymore."

It was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to tell anyone, and by the look on his face I knew just how badly it hurt him. It killed me to do it, but I didn't regret it. I only wished he could accept it...

"If you need to leave, then go. Take whatever time you need, and when you're ready…"

"I'm not going to change my mind," I told him.

"I can see you believe that right now, so I'm not going to argue with you. I… I hope you find something to make you happy again, Bells, but please, just call me or even just text if you ever change your mind. Or if you just need a friendly ear, just don't hesitate to call me. I'll be here."

"I'm sorry," I told him sincerely, and then I grabbed the last bag I had left in the apartment, kissed the cats goodbye, and then walked out the door. I felt horrible for leaving the cats there, but the truth was, they were his, and they could care less if I was there or not.

"Is he okay?" Alice asked me as I met her down by her car.

I shrugged, but then had to wipe my tears. "That really sucked."

"I know, sweetie," she said while pulling me into a hug.

"Are you okay?"

I pulled back and looked at her in the face. "I will be… eventually."

"No regrets?" she questioned.

I shook my head. "It's for the best."

"Okay, let's go home."

 _Home_ – still a word that seemed to hold no meaning to me, and I sincerely believed it never would again.


	19. Saying Goodbye

**Chapter 19 – Saying Goodbye**

"I can't believe that actually just happened," I said in a daze as we walked out of the meeting with National Geographic.

"I told you they'd love it!" Alice squealed excitedly. "Sky's the limit for you now, girlie."

I couldn't wipe the big dumb smile off my face. Not only was the magazine going to publish all my Alaskan pictures in a five page spread and write up, but they also gave me the entire cover. The only real hesitation I had was when they said they wanted the picture of the plane wreckage for said cover. I was so close to not agreeing. It was an incredibly personal image that I never planned to publish, but in the end, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity.

"So, what are you going to wear?" Alice asked excitedly as she flagged a cab.

I moaned. "Do I really have to show up to that?"

"Bella!" she scolded me. "It's the release party for your cover and spread. Of course you have to go. It's a big freaking deal!"

"Does Nat Geo really throw a big party for every magazine they publish?" I questioned, thinking it was odd.

"I don't know. But your story made national headlines, so it makes sense they're making a big deal about it. It's not like you've talked to any other magazine. You haven't even given any interviews to news programs. This is going to be a big seller for them."

I curled my lip. "You know I hate all the attention. This party is going to be so overwhelming."

"I will be there with you, and so will all our other friends. I think it's awesome they're allowing you to invite so many people."

I moaned again, but she just smiled and told me to quit complaining.

"So… its lunch time, and I'm starving. Where are we going to eat? We have to celebrate," she said excitedly as we scooted into the back of the cab.

"I think I just want to head home," I told her apologetically.

"Oh no! Please tell me you aren't rushing back to watch more 'Game of Thrones' episodes," she whined. "Bella, you are obsessed with that show. You have watched nothing else since you moved in with me."

I laughed. "No, it's not about 'Game of Thrones'… although, I probably will watch a few more episodes today. Really, I've just not been feeling great. I know I've been stressing about this meeting, so hopefully now that it's done, I'll start feeling better."

"My birthday is coming soon. You better be up to going out with me then," she said, playfully stern.

"I promise I will take you out for your birthday," I told her evenly with a smile.

"I'm going to hold you to that."

…

I absolutely hated wearing heels. Not only were they super uncomfortable, but I had no idea how to walk gracefully in them. I would be sincerely surprised if my evening's battle against gravity ended with a victory.

"Stop. You look amazing!" Alice hissed at me when I readjusted my neckline for the umpteenth time. "Of course, not as amazing as you would look without that coat over your dress, but still hot."

I laughed once. "This dress is far too low cut to wear without a coat," I grumbled.

"Miss Swan, I just wanted to congratulate you on your first cover. The pictures are beautiful," one of the magazine editors said to me. "I'm excited to see what else you have in store for us in the future," he added.

My smile spread across my face. "Thank you for giving me this opportunity, Sir. I'm excited for our future collaborations as well."

He shook my hand, and then left me there to cheer silently with Alice. It took all my restraint to refrain from jumping up and down to celebrate right there in the middle of the party.

A few other bigwigs approached me as well, and had similar sentiments. They were basically telling me I would have a job there in the future, and I couldn't have been more excited. Between the greetings and congratulations from the business folk, my friends all came up to give me their well wishes. Some of them I hadn't seen since before my accident, so it was really great reconnecting. Alice had sent out all the invites, so I wasn't sure who was going to end up coming. Each and every one of our friends ended up showing, and I couldn't help but feel grateful that I had such amazing people in my life.

The party was surprisingly hopping for a magazine release, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Despite not usually enjoying scenes like that, I found myself genuinely smiling more than I had in weeks. Even when a certain someone came over to say hello…

"Congratulations are in order," Garrett said as he surprised me from behind. "And you look gorgeous, by the way."

I smiled at him. "I'm glad you came," I said sincerely.

Alice had asked me before inviting him, and after some consideration, I happily agreed. Despite our romantic relationship ending for good, I still cared for him, and we shared all the same friends, so it just felt right having him there.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," he replied. "They're incredible pictures," he added while looking up at the screen displaying the magazine cover. "Now, that man standing in front of the wreckage, is that Mister Clearwater?" he asked curiously.

"Um… no. It's…"

"Hey," a woman's voice timidly interrupted us from behind.

I turned around and was completely shocked to see Seattle's own prized weathergirl, Kate Cullen. She was drop dead gorgeous and all smiles. She radiated bubbly friendliness, and it took everything I had inside of me not to display the hatred towards her that I felt on the inside.

Of course, all of that animosity fizzled away when I noticed the man standing awkwardly behind her - The man that still owned both my heart and soul. I had worked so hard to move on, but seeing him again, I was reminded just how much I still loved him, and probably always would. At the same time, however, seeing him was also surreal. Gone was the bushy beard I had grown to love on the mountain. I had actually forgotten just how perfect his jawline actually was. Everything about him was perfect, and it ripped me to shreds all over again.

"Miss Swan," Edward greeted me stiffly.

My stomach dropped even further than I ever thought possible.

"Doctor Cullen," I replied numbly.

"I'm sorry we haven't met before now, I'm Kate Cullen," Miss Perfect said, interrupting my internal wallowing.

I ripped my eyes away from Edward to look back at her and her outstretched hand. Somehow, I forced my hand to shake hers. "Bella Swan," I replied with a faux smile.

"Of course I know who you are," she replied in a sickly sweet tone. "You've been all over the news… and…" She gestured to Garrett. "Gar and I spent a lot of time together when we were looking for you two. He never stopped talking about you. I feel like I know you personally already."

She turned to Garrett. "Hey… How have you been?" she asked while reaching over to embrace him.

While they were casually catching up, I turned back to Edward. Neither of us spoke to each other at first, we just stared for a heavy long minute. I wanted nothing more than to scream at him and tell him how badly he hurt me, and at the same time, I wanted to jump into his arms and beg him to leave his wife for me and never let go. It was painful, and maddening. Both my anger and love were so strong that I worried I would lose the battle to keep my composure. So before I could embarrass myself any further, I forced out some small talk…

"I wasn't expecting to see you tonight…or ever."

"Uh… I recieved an invitation… You didn't send it?" he questioned, getting clearly uncomfortable.

"Um… no. My friend, Alice, sent out all the invites… But I'm glad you're here."

"Well, I am in the picture," he said, gesturing to the monitor. "Never really had an aspiration to be on a Nat Geo cover before," he said with forced humor.

"I'm sorry. I asked them if I should get your permission first, but they said that since your face isn't shown, it's not necessary… I suppose I should have asked anyway."

He shrugged dismissively. "It's not a big deal."

"Well, how are you? You look so much better than the last time I saw you," I told him, hoping to god I sounded as casual as I intended. "Uh, Thank you, by the way, for the guitar and the rest of my things. I would have thanked you sooner, but I didn't have your phone number or a home address."

He subtly shook his head no. "It was my thank you to you," he murmured.

"I think the four of us should go out together some time, don't you?" Kate said enthusiastically as she and Garrett returned to our conversation.

Several more people joined us as well, and everyone shifted their positions so that somehow Edward was standing right beside me. There were multiple conversations happening at once, so it got a little overwhelming, but then I felt that old familiar feeling of Edward's pinky as it intertwined with mine. My heart jumped from his touch, and my stomach honestly heaved into my throat. It was such a comforting feeling, and yet, I found myself wanting to vomit.

"Excuse me for a moment," I said to everyone as I raced to the bathroom.

I had been having a hard time readjusting to more than just the people and places - my body was still far from normal. My doctor said it was part of my depression, but I felt physically achy and queasy all the time. However, this was the first time I actually vomited. Why my body picked that moment, during a fancy gathering, to release all its wrath into the world, I had no idea. I was just grateful I made it to the bathroom on time.

After I expelled all the contents of my stomach, I washed out my mouth, and slowly exited the lady's room.

"Hey, there you are," Alice said as she approached me from wherever she was coming from. She paused when she reached me, and then gently took my arm and led me back to the bathroom. "Honey, what's wrong?" she questioned concerned.

"Nothing. I just…must have eaten something that didn't sit well. My stomach is still weak."

"Bella, you've been back for almost three months now. Your stomach should be finished adjusting already. What happened to make you so upset?"

"Nothing," I repeated.

"Bella, you may have changed while you were away, but I still know when you're lying. You were doing better up until a few minutes ago. What happened?"

I sighed. "It's just hard seeing Edward again," I admitted quietly.

"Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry!" Alice apologized. "I shouldn't have invited him. I thought… I don't know what I thought. I stuck my big fat nose where it didn't belong again, and now…"

"Alice, stop!" I interrupted her. "I'm glad you invited him. He should definitely be here. He's in the cover photo, for crying out loud. I just wish it didn't still hurt like this. It's ridiculous. We've been apart longer than we were together. I should be over him by now."

"Bella, there's no time frame for getting over a heartbreak," Alice said gently.

I nodded. "What do I do?" I asked, while looking in the mirror at my blotchy face. "I can't go back out there looking like this."

"All you need is a little more powder and you'll be fine," Alice assured me as she took out her compact and quickly got to work. "There. As beautiful as ever. Now, hold your head up high, and let's get this night over with."

"Thanks Alice. I don't know what I would have done without you tonight," I said sincerely.

She hugged me one more time, and then I swallowed my emotions, and we braved the party again.

I tentatively looked around, not sure if I was hoping to see Edward, or if I wanted to avoid him like the plague. Unfortunately, or fortunately, he seemed to have disappeared into the crowd.

Everyone took their seats as the presentation began. It was a lot of embarrassing speeches about how great of a photographer I was, and then it was my turn to speak.

I stood at the podium feeling horribly stage fright and lost. What the hell was I doing there? I scanned the room and saw some familiar faces, but even my friends looked and felt like strangers from where I was standing.

And then my eyes found Edward's.

My heart jumped, and I wanted nothing more than to run away and hide in some dark hole somewhere, but before I had a chance to unlock my eyes from his, Edward subtly nodded, and somehow, someway, I found myself talking…

"I just wanted to say thank you to everyone at National Geographic for this amazing opportunity. It might sound odd, but getting lost in the Alaskan wilderness has brought me closer to… finding my true self, than I ever would have thought possible. Sometimes we have to crash, before we can get back up and build ourselves into the person we were always meant to be. I know my skills in photography would have never been where it is today without Alaska. I am excited to see where else this life adventure will take me in the future, and I can't wait to further collaborate with such a wonderful publication as National Geographic. Thank you."

Everyone clapped for me as I exited the stage, and I was approached by even more executives and magazine higher ups. I felt like I was suddenly thrown into a whirlwind of one business meeting after another, all while wearing high heels and a fancy dress, none the less. The hours whizzed by incredibly fast, and before I knew it, Alice had cut in to tell me she was heading home.

"I can wait for you if you want. I really don't mind," she offered.

"No, I'm sure you're tired. I will probably be home not long after you. Don't watch the next episode of Game of Thrones without me," I warned her playfully.

She giggled. "I might. Damn you for getting me hooked!"

I laughed and then waved to her, but as I turned around to get to my next micro meeting, I was shocked to see Edward standing there.

"I-uh… just wanted to say goodbye," he said awkwardly. "I didn't want to interrupt, but… we didn't get a chance to say goodbye before, and I couldn't leave without telling you… how proud I am of everything you've accomplished. I'm in awe of you, Bella. Truly."

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from crying. In a way, not getting the chance to say goodbye before was easier. This made it feel final, and so painfully real. I suppose it was an important part of fully moving on, but it certainly didn't feel good.

"Thank you for coming," I mumbled, unable to talk any louder than that.

And then he did the last thing I ever expected – he leaned in to me, and kissed my forehead. It wasn't a quick peck either. It was slow, and tender. It seemed to last forever, and yet, it ended far too soon. It took everything I had inside of me to not confess my love, and reach up to grab ahold of him and never let go… but my arms stayed locked to my sides, and the words stayed locked in my heart.

He pulled back and whispered goodbye, before disappearing into the crowd, taking my heart right along with him. I was left feeling raw and numb at the same time. My chest was tight, and if I wasn't already being approached by more people, I was sure I would have collapsed from the pain.

Somehow I managed to keep it together through the next few conversations, and then I called it a night, and silently cried to myself the entire cab ride home.

Saying goodbye to Edward that evening was probably the most difficult thing I ever had to do, second only to leaving him unconscious on the mountain. The pain was unbearable, but after crying myself to sleep that night, I woke up the following day feeling like everything was about to change again. I only hoped this next life altering event would be for the better….


	20. The Mountain

**Chapter 20 – The Mountain**

"Were you just in there vomiting?" Alice asked me concerned, as I came out of the bathroom. It had been a long night of restlessness, and crying, and intense heartache. Seeing Edward, only to say goodbye, was excruciating. I cried myself to sleep a few times that night, and woke up that morning feeling like I was falling apart all over again. It wasn't even just an emotional feeling, I physically felt terrible.

"I must have eaten something bad at the party last night," I said dismissively.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me, but otherwise gave me some Tums and let it go. However when the morning vomiting episodes lasted through the week, Alice was done letting it go.

"Here," she said, plopping a small brown paper bag onto the table in front of me as I was picking at a toasted waffle.

"What's this?" I asked warily.

"You're about to find out," she replied, and she was right. The moment I looked at the contents of the bag, I looked up at her confused. "Oh, you can't tell me you haven't suspected this too," she added gently.

"Suspected what? That you have a thing for buying people awkward gag gifts?" I questioned while pulling out the pregnancy test.

"Bella, you have been feeling unwell, and mopey as shit for weeks. Now you're having morning sickness. What do you think, Sunshine?"

"No, no, no. I'm just in a funk. I've been better, haven't I?" I asked, honestly thinking that I was getting better. If it wasn't for seeing Edward again, I would have been on cloud nine from my National Geographic career opportunity. A couple days after the big party, I was offered an official position with the magazine. It was truly a dream come true.

"You have been doing better with your outlook, but you haven't been better physically," she argued. "In fact, I think you're getting worse. You can't possibly still think you're body is in an adjustment period from all the stress of being stranded. Three months, Bella. Well, it's been more than three months now. Three months and a week."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, maybe I need to see my doctor again, but a pregnancy test? Come on, Alice. You know I'm on the Depo-shot. We go together to get them."

"Uh… yeah, we went together to get them before your crash. I've been going alone ever since. When was the last time you got one?"

"Uh… not since that last one I got with you."

"Well, that was over six months ago now," she said shockingly. "I'd say you're not protected anymore. You really need to take the test."

"Has it really been six months since my last shot?" I asked myself as I considered it. "No, it has to have only been five months ago," I concluded. "I've been back for three months, and I was on the mountain for two. We got the shot right before I left for Alaska, which means I would have been protected the entire time I was gone, and I certainly haven't had sex since I've been back. See? Not pregnant," I said, feeling relieved.

"Yeah… except there's one little problem with your timing… We got that last shot almost a month before you left on your trip to Alaska. That would make it expired a good two weeks before you were rescued. How much sex did you have in that cabin anyway? Because if it was within two weeks of your departure, you could very well be pregnant…. Three freaking months pregnant, Bella."

My mouth fell agape. I was utterly shocked by Alice's words, and in complete denial.

"No, I remember getting that shot as I was preparing for my trip to Alaska. It had to have been only a week before I left…right?"

Alice shook her head, and then pulled out her phone. "I mark my calendar every time I get a shot. See? That was the last one I got before your trip, and that was the last one we got together. Almost exactly a month before you left. Dude, your body was so excited to be fucking Doctor McDreamy that you freaking released an egg."

I scrunched my face at her.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't a good joke. But Bella, you better get in to the doctor. You could be heading into your second trimester here…. Unless, that is, you have been getting your period regularly. When was your last one?"

I tried to think, but the surreal daze I found myself in was hard to navigate through.

"I got one when we first made it to the cabin… It was really light, and thankfully I had enough pads with me in my backpack… And then…." I shook my head, still in denial. "The doctors did blood tests while in was in the hospital. There, if I was pregnant, surely they would have told me."

"Not if you were barely pregnant at the time. You seriously haven't gotten a period since you've been back, and you never once thought anything of it?"

I shrugged. "The doctor did say my system would be out of whack for a while and I should expect late or missed periods. I only had light ones since I started getting those shots anyway, and some women don't get their periods at all on them, so I just figured… This can not be happening," I said feeling as if I was sinking once again. I didn't even think I could get any lower than I already had been, I guess I was just proven wrong.

"Okay, before you get all upset, go in there and take the test," Alice said encouragingly. "We could be way off here."

I nodded, and then numbly took the box into the bathroom. I followed the directions, but before I even had a chance to set the test down to wait the three minutes, a big bright plus sign showed up in the little window.

"Oh my god," I cried as I sunk down to my knees. Alice rushed in, and just held me as I sobbed right there on the bathroom floor.

It was a devastating, terrifying blow. I had just started thinking my life was back on track, and now I was left feeling lost and broken again.

"What am I going to do now?" I asked after finally calming down.

"You're going to make a doctor's appointment, and then you're going to consider you next step. If you don't want to have it…"

"I can't get an abortion," I cut her off. "I'm probably too far along for that anyway."

"Well, then you're going to pull yourself together, and handle this like the strong independent woman you are."

"I don't feel like a strong woman at all," I disagreed. "I'm a mess, Alice. Just look at my life right now, I don't even have a home of my own. I'm invading your small studio, and…"

"Well, it's a good thing you made a small fortune on your Nat Geo cover and you have a real job with them now," she reminded me. "We can get a three bedroom apartment together. We can afford it now."

"Alice," I huffed. "I can't do that to you. You love this apartment."

"I do… But I love you more."

I shook my head. "I'm not going to let you move with me." I took a deep breath. "I'm just… going to have to figure it out on my own."

"Well, not on your own. You do have a very rich baby daddy," she pointed out.

I laughed once humorlessly. "A very married baby daddy, who probably never even told his wife that we were together on that mountain. God, I'm like… disgusted with myself right now. Not only did I sleep with a married man, but now I have to tell him that I'm pregnant, and probably mess up his marriage in the process. I feel like I should have a scarlet A tattooed on my forehead."

"Well, that's a good thing, right? Of course I don't mean your dramatics about the scarlet A, but I mean, you love him, and maybe he would consider leaving her for you. You guys can be a family," she said with gentle enthusiasm.

I shook my head no, and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "I don't want to be anyone's consolation prize, or to be his default relationship. He chose her. He loves her." I shook my head again. "Even if he left her for me out of guilt, how would I ever be happy knowing he really loves someone else?"

"No, I hear you," Alice said understandingly. "So, you'll share custody, or if he doesn't want it, he will pay child support. Either way, you will have some help with it."

"But if Kate doesn't know we were ever together, this is going to be a major blow to their marriage."

"That's his problem, Bella, not yours," Alice replied strongly. "He should have been honest with his wife if he loves her so much. Or maybe he was honest, for all you know. Maybe she knows what happened between you, but she forgave him the way Garrett did. Regardless of any of that, it's not your concern. Your concern is taking care of yourself and your baby, and that includes telling its father."

I sighed, and then nodded. "I know I have to tell him, I'm just... it's going to be so hard. Seeing him at the party last week was hard enough, now I need to share a child with him. If Kate forgives him for this, then she is going to be raising this baby with me. The three of us are going to raise a baby jointly. I just…"

"You will do whatever you have to do," Alice said doubtlessly. "I will help you with whatever you need."

I nodded, and then she hugged me while I continued to cry. I cried for most of the day, and when the sun came up the following day, I decided it was time to suck it up. I couldn't wallow in my misery for a moment longer. It was time to grow the hell up.

After seeing my doctor that afternoon, and confirming that I was, indeed, three and a half months pregnant, I found the strength I needed to talk to Edward.

"I don't have his number," I said, realizing I wasn't sure how to contact him.

"Hmm, that is an issue. What about contacting the hospital where he works?" Alice suggested. "That's where I sent his invitation for the Nat Geo party. Obviously he got it since he showed up."

"How did you even find out where he works?" I questioned. "There are so many hospitals in this city."

"I saw it on the news. They said he works for Seattle Mercy. Maybe you should just go there in person and ask to see him."

I nodded. "That could work."

…

The following day I worked up enough courage to drive across the city to his hospital. I was probably the most nervous than I have ever been before, but I simply didn't have any other choice. However when I asked the receptionist if I could speak to him, I was hit with a roadblock.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Cullen no longer works here," she said with a smile of indifference.

My stomach twisted. "Can you please tell me where he works now? Or is there a number I can reach him at?"

"I'm sorry, I can't give out that information."

"Okay, well can I possibly give you a message to send to him then?" I requested.

"I'm sorry, we don't do that."

"You don't forward his mail?" I asked incredulously. "I know he was getting mail here not that long ago."

"He was working here until not that long ago," she replied snootily.

I huffed in frustration. Clearly I was just wasting my time.

"Great… Now what?" I asked myself.

Luckily, Alice was on the case. She knew Garrett and Kate had become friends since they spent so much time looking for us after the crash, so she called him and asked for Kate's number. The problem with that was now I was going to have to call to ask the woman for her husband's number. It was definitely nerve-wracking.

"I can call her for you," Alice offered as I sat at the kitchen table with my phone in hand.

"No… I have to stop being a coward." I took a deep breath, and then dialed the number. My heart was pounding out of my chest, but when the call went straight to her voicemail, I decided to hang up. "I can't leave a message. I'll just call back later."

"In the meantime, we are going out tonight," Alice insisted.

"Your birthday isn't until next week," I said evenly.

"Well, we are celebrating now. We both could use a night out. You need a chance to get your mind off of everything."

I moaned. "I don't feel like going anywhere. What am I going to do anyway? Enjoy my virgin margarita while you drink?"

"It doesn't matter. We don't even have to go to a club. Let's just go to dinner and a movie. Come on. Your life is about to change big time. In just a few months you won't want to go to the movies at all anymore."

I sighed. "Fine. You're right. Let's go."

As much as I didn't want to go out, Alice was definitely right about my life changing. I really could use a break before all the stress that I was sure would ensue after I informed Edward of his impending fatherhood.

Of course, Alice was not into going to the local Applebee's. For being a bohemian chic kind of chick, she sure liked fine dining. So we got spiffy, and went to Alistair's Steakhouse. I felt an immediate discomfort as soon as we walked into the restaurant, but once again, I didn't listen to my instincts….

"Oh my god," Alice mumbled as we were shown to our table.

"What?" I asked concerned.

She was clearly looking at something behind me, so I glanced over my shoulder and my heart jumped into my throat. There, sitting a few tables back, were Kate and Edward, seemingly having a romantic date.

"I swear I didn't plan this," Alice said quickly. "Well, I do sometimes have a sixth sense about these kinds of things, but I didn't intentionally plan this," she said in a rush.

"I think we should leave. I don't want to disrupt their dinner," I said while chancing another glance at them.

"Bella, you need to talk to him. Just go over and ask to speak to him. Maybe just make plans to get lunch tomorrow or something."

My chest constricted, and then I nodded. "You're right... again."

Before I had a chance to lose my nerve, I got up from the table, and slowly made my way over to them. Edward's back was to me so I couldn't see his face, but the moment Kate's eyes spotted me, her entire face dropped in what looked like uncomfortable surprise.

"Bella," she said as I approached them.

"Hi, I'm sorry to…" I let my words trail off as I looked at Edward…except it wasn't Edward who was looking back at me. Edward wasn't even there at all.

"Garrett?" I asked, shocked and confused.

"Bella?" he replied, just as shocked and even slightly horrified. "Uh… I've been meaning to call you. Um… Kate and I…"

"Bella, can I speak to you privately for a few minutes?" Kate interrupted him. She turned to Garrett and mumbled some kind of plea, before taking my hand and leading me to the bar area. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"No… I'm here with Alice, I don't want to leave her that long… Why are you here with Garrett?" I asked, suddenly finding my courage and my voice. "I assumed he was Edward from behind, but clearly I was wrong."

"First off, I want you to know, nothing happened while you were missing. We just… became friends. We leaned on each other for emotional support. You know? We were both… devastated when they called off your search…. But we were both… hurting too bad for anything more to happen. It wasn't until very recently that we decided to take our friendship to the next level. You two already broke up, so… I just want you to know that he never cheated on you in any way. Gar is such a sweet, loyal, compassionate guy. I'm just so lucky that he…"

"You're married!" interrupted her, honestly not giving two shits about her questionable relationship with my ex.

Kate shook her head ever so subtly. "Bella… I didn't know you and Edward had any kind of romantic relationship going on," she said, taking me aback. "He was so upset when I first asked him for a divorce… and then his plane crashed, and I couldn't help but remember all the good time we had together. I saw how devastated Garrett was to lose you, and… I guess I missed that. Edward's parents came out to help with the search, and I just… love his parents so much. It made me realize that, I wasn't just divorcing him, I was divorcing his entire family, and all our friends, and I just… I hated myself for ever asking him for it. It was my fault he went to Alaska in the first place. So I found myself trying to make a deal with god. If Edward was found alive, I swore I would call it all off, and do whatever it took to make our marriage work."

"So what changed?" I asked, glancing back at a shameful looking Garrett behind me.

"Once you guys were found and brought to the hospital, Garrett was just so happy. I just wanted some of that happiness too. Looking back, I know now how wrong it was, but I texted Garrett that we were giving our marriage another shot before I even talked to Edward about anything. I just blindly assumed he still wanted to reconcile, and he would be happy, and we would end up okay. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself it was what I wanted because I made that promise to god, and because deep down, I was starting to have feelings for Garrett and it hurt how happy he was to have you back. I know how horrible that sounds. God, I hated myself for a long time for even thinking that way. I really did want to try to make it work with Edward, but…" She shook her head. "He didn't want any part of it. He told me no right away, but by then I had already told Garrett we were getting back together. I didn't know it would end up hurting you, or him, or anyone. I didn't realize. I didn't even know you and Edward had a thing until Garrett told me the other day."

I scrunched my eyes, still unsure what to think. "But… you and Edward came to my Nat Geo party together?"

She shook her head. "No, I went with one of my colleagues at the news station. They were covering the event, and I just really wanted to go and meet you, and… maybe see Garrett again. God, that sounds so bad. I swear, I wasn't going to try to steal him from you. I just," she shrugged, "really missed him."

"You walked up to me that night with Edward?" I reiterated, still confused, and still not caring about her feelings for Garrett.

"No, we ran into each other at the entrance of the banquet hall. We just walked to you guys at the same time. That was actually the first I saw Edward since he was discharged from the hospital. All our other communication had been through our lawyers."

"So… you're divorced?" I asked with a mix of excitement and heartache. Knowing some stupid misunderstanding had kept us apart for so long was devastating, but I was beyond eager to fix it. "I need his phone number. I have to talk to him."

"Oh… I don't even have his number. He got a new phone after coming back, and like I said, all our legal issues have gone through lawyers… Um… You know what, I do still have his parent's number. I can reach out and ask them for his new number."

"Can you? That would be amazing."

"Of course. So, are you really okay with me and Garrett?" she asked carefully.

I glanced back at Garrett one more time. "You guys look cute together. Can you please call the Cullen's right away?"

"Is everything okay?" she asked concerned.

"I just really need to speak to him as soon as possible," I replied impatiently.

"Okay, let me just step outside to call them real quick," she said before heading back to her table where Garrett was still sitting, and grabbing her purse. She walked past me to go outside, and Garrett joined me at the bar table.

"Bella, I just want you to know…"

I put up me hand to stop him. "Garrett, you don't owe me any kind of explanation. You have always been…nothing but a great guy, and I truly wish nothing but the best for you."

"But… I told you I would always be waiting for you, and here I am, on a date with another woman."

"Garrett, we were never going to get back together anyway," I told him as gently as possible. "I'm glad you have moved on. Really. As long as you're happy, I'm happy for you."

"I am happy. Kate is…well, I mean, it's really only our second date, but she is incredible." He sighed, and then looked back at me. "You and I would have had a good life together, you know."

I smiled and nodded. "The people we used to be would have. The people we are now just don't belong together."

He smiled in return. "I can see that now."

"Garrett, not that it matters at this point, but were you having feelings for Kate before I was rescued? You just looked sad when you were telling me they were getting back together."

He considered my question, and then reluctantly nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't even realize how much she meant to me then, but I suppose I was feeling it. Nothing happened between us until recently though. I hope you really know that."

"I do, and I appreciate that. Even though I can't actually say the same. Edward and I ..."

"I know," he cut me off. "But Kate didn't know, so I guess they never really talked much after he was rescued. I just assumed she knew and I mentioned it in passing. Funny enough, she wasn't hurt by it. I suppose they were separated, but in a way, I wasn't hurt by it either. I guess that's just more proof that we don't belong together anymore."

I nodded in agreement.

"So I just spoke to Esme," Kate said as she returned to us. "Here is his number and address. She did say he is working a lot in the hospital he transferred to, so he rarely answers his phone."

Kate hesitantly handed me the piece of paper with Edward's information on it. I reflexively looked down, and my stomach dropped.

"210 Elk Drive, Healy, Alaska!" I shouted while reading Edward's address out loud. "He moved to Alaska?"

"Yeah, I heard about that before," Kate said sympathetically. "I know he has extended family in the Denali area, but I never thought he would actually move there. But his phone number is on there too if you need to reach him urgently."

I bit the inside of my cheek as I considered my next move. "Thank you, Kate," I said sincerely. I said goodbye to the both of them, and rejoined Alice at our table.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

"He moved to Alaska," I said absently as I was still lost in deep thought.

She laughed, but quickly fell serious. "You're not joking, are you?"

I shook my head no. "Alice, I need to go out there."

"You hardly made the plane trip home after being rescued from Alaska, and you want to go back?" she asked incredulously. "You have to fly over those snow peaks again. You realize that, don't you?"

"It was hard getting back on a plane after crashing, but it doesn't matter. I have to go see Edward. I can't tell him everything over the phone. I need to go see him."

"You're not going to come back are you?" Alice assumed quietly.

I looked at her, and then shook my head no. "Alice, I still loved him even when I thought he didn't love me anymore and was married to someone else. Well he's not married, and I'm pregnant with his baby. I love him more than anything in the world, so why would I not go to him? And once I'm there, if he wants me to stay, why would I ever leave?"

"What about Nat Geo?" she questioned.

"I can work for them from anywhere. It's not like it's a desk job. I'll just base myself out of Alaska. God, I never thought I'd ever go back there."

"Do you think you can be happy there in the long run? I mean, won't it bring back all those horrible memories of being lost in the wilderness?"

I considered it, and then I shook my head. "Honestly, I don't care where I am… as long as he's there. I need to go. I need to go now," I said, feeling the first real hope and excitement I could remember since before that bear came to the cabin and ripped us apart.

Edward never abandoned me. He never meant to break my heart. I could only assume he kept his distance because he thought it was what I wanted. It was one huge misunderstanding, and I needed to rectify it immediately.

Somehow I managed to finish the dinner with Alice, and we discussed every aspect of what it would take for me to make such a monumental move. Going back to Alaska wasn't going to be easy, but I would do anything for Edward. I risked my life for him, and I would do it all again. There was no way in hell I was going to let a stupid mountain stand between us – metaphorically or literally. I would find my way back to him, just like I promised in the cabin the last time I saw him there. We would be together again. We would become a family. I didn't have a doubt.

...


	21. Finally

**Chapter 21 – Finally**

I didn't hesitate. There was nothing left standing in the way of us being together – nothing except my current fears.

"Are you okay, Miss?" the lady in the seat next to me on the plane asked full of concern. My knuckles were turning white from how tightly I was clutching my seat armrest.

"Yeah, of course," I lied horribly. "I'm sorry, it's just I was on a plane that crashed in the Alaskan mountains not that long ago, so this just isn't fun for me," I added, probably a little too honestly. The woman looked horrified by my words. "Sorry," I mumbled, but otherwise ignored her.

The takeoff was terrifying, and as we flew over the snow covered peaks, I had to breathe into a paper bag to keep myself from hyperventilating. If I had been sitting in the window seat, it would have been total collapse.

I had never been afraid to fly before - I wasn't even that scared during the flight back to Seattle after my rescue. Then again, I was shell-shocked and numb during that passage. This flight was different. Not only was I fully awake and feeling a million different emotions, but I was heading towards Edward instead of away from him. What if something happened to stop me from getting there? I was getting closer by the minute, but my fear was growing by the minute as well.

What if he didn't love me anymore? What if he never wanted to see me again? What if I just stopped with the _'what ifs'_? I couldn't continue being a coward. No matter his current feelings towards me, I had to confront him. He needed to be told in person that he was going to be a father.

"Just breathe, Bella," I told myself.

When the plane finally touched down safely, I wasn't sure if I was relieved, or even more nervous. I was taking a huge risk not warning him that I was coming, but I felt like it was the only way to deliver news of this importance. Calling him on the phone, after so long apart, would just feel awkward and strained. I just sincerely hoped he was happy to see me…

Once I picked up my things from the baggage claim, I hired a driver to take me to the address I got from Kate, however when I arrived I was confused.

"Um… Are you sure this is the right place?" I asked the driver.

"This is the address you gave me," the man said while taking my stuff out of his trunk.

I looked back up at the building before me, and bit my bottom lip. "Crap," I mumbled.

Perhaps Kate got the wrong address from his parents. Perhaps this was his work place instead. It certainly didn't look like any house I had ever seen. Then again, it was seemingly out in the middle of nowhere. There were no other structures within miles, so it being a small hospital or doctor's office didn't make sense.

I looked back at the car as it pulled away, and I realized I didn't have any choice but to go knock on the door. It wasn't necessarily cold outside, but experience taught me that the temperatures in Alaska could drop drastically in the evenings, even during summer. I certainly didn't want to be stuck outside for too long, especially if I was at the wrong location.

"Come on, Bella. Don't be a coward. Just breathe," I reminded myself yet again.

I approached the front steps slowly, but then, like a beacon of light through a dark storm, I was suddenly met by the best sight I had seen in months.

I gasped just as two large paws jumped up to my chest.

"Jake!" I cried. Many yellow labs looked the same, but I would know my best friend anywhere. There was absolutely no mistaking his deep soulful eyes and cheerful grin. "Jake, oh my god. What are you doing here, buddy?" I asked with my eyes stinging from salty tears.

I couldn't stop crying as he licked my face and I hugged him tightly. He looked so good, and strong, and healthy, and I was just so beyond grateful to see him again.

I wasn't sure how long I embraced him for, but the sun kept sinking towards the horizon, so I knew it was time to go in. After seeing Jake, I was sure Edward had to be there somewhere as well. I didn't understand how or why they were together, but they were, and it just made me that much more eager to see Edward too.

"Where is he, boy?" I asked him, fully confident that Jake the Wonder Dog understood.

He barked once at me quietly, and then turned and clawed at the door.

"Oh, right." I rang the doorbell, and my heart raced as I waited… and waited… and waited. There was no answer.

"Well?" I said to Jake, who tilted his head to the side in bewilderment. I was slightly concerned that Edward possibly wasn't home, and wouldn't be anytime soon. Since I had nowhere else to go, and no way to get there, and zero cell service in that area, I would probably be forced to spend the night outside, on the porch, in the cold. It would be horribly ironic if I ended up freezing to death on his front porch after everything we survived in the wilderness.

Jake barked at me again, and then clawed the door one more time, so I shrugged and hesitantly tried opening the door. To my surprise it was unlocked, so I tentatively let myself in.

"Hello?" I called, hoping he would hear me. "Edward?"

As I stepped inside his foyer, I was at a complete loss for words. I had never even been inside a residence with a foyer before. The place was huge, and beautiful, and shockingly bare. As I found my way into the living room area, I was in awe of the tall ceilings and complete lack of any decorations whatsoever. There was a couch, and a TV above a massive fireplace, but other than that, nothing. No pictures on the wall, or anything at all to make the very large house resemble anything close to a home. It was definitely not warm and inviting in any way. It was actually a little sad to look at.

I continued to wander around the cold house, and wound up in the kitchen. It was a big beautiful gourmet kitchen, but it looked like it had never been used. I honestly felt like if I touched anything I was going to leave fingerprints, so I kept my hands full of my things, not wanting to put them down and cause a mess anywhere.

Something made me look out one of the kitchen windows, and then my heart jumped. There, chopping wood just outside the back porch steps, was Edward. The sight of him dressed casually and moving about with an axe, was something I knew I would never forget. I found myself frozen in place, unable to pry my eyes away from him.

Even from that distance, I could see that he had put on weight since our time in the cabin. Healthy weight in the form of muscles in all the right places. Weight that I wouldn't allow myself to notice when I saw him at the magazine party. He was truly an astoundingly beautiful sight to see.

I must have stood there and watched him chopping wood for over twenty minutes. It wasn't until he finished, and made his way back inside, that I was able to even move from that spot I had been locked in.

He walked in with his head down, but the moment he looked up and noticed me there, he froze.

"Hey," I said awkwardly, unsure what else to say at the moment. "I…uh, knocked, but you didn't answer, so… I just came in," I said, feeling really stupid as he continued to just stare at me. "I can go back out and knock again if you want," I said like a moron.

He cracked a slight smile. "Bella, what are you doing here?"

"I… uh…was just in the area. You know… work stuff," I joked.

Jake didn't think it was funny, so he whimpered as a response.

"You didn't tell me you were moving," I said, trying to break the ice a bit.

He shrugged. "It's not like we've really talked since we left the cabin."

Jake whimpered again, and then licked my hand, so I bent down and ruffled his scruff. "How did you get Jake here? Is he just visiting? Last I heard the Clearwater's loved having him home with them in Washington."

Edward sighed. "They did, but… I stopped by their house in La Push before I moved out here. I always make sure to do a post-op appointment with my patients," he said with his adorable smirk. I smiled back at him, but he fell serious again. "He was his usual happy self, but Seth said that was the most active he had been since they brought him home. Apparently he was happy to see me. I'm not sure why, we've never been that fond of each other," he scowled at Jake.

I could have sworn Jake smiled at him in response.

"Anyway, Seth said his father was living here in Alaska before the accident, and since Jake was happy to see me, and I was moving here, he thought I should bring him with me. They live in a suburb anyway, and Jake just didn't have any room there. So…" He shrugged again. "They keep in touch. They video chat, and plan to come visit him."

I smiled. "Who would have ever thought you would end up with Jake. You've come a long way from wanting to eat him."

"Well, the power tends to go out a lot in this area during bad storms. I have back up generators, but Jake knows that if it ever comes down to them failing, and we're locked in for a long period of time, I still wouldn't hesitate to eat him. He understands. He agreed to take the risk."

I giggled. "So, Doctor Cullen is now a dog lover, huh?"

"No," he said without hesitation. "I'm not into dogs. Jake is more like a roommate. He comes and goes when he pleases. I do buy him food though, and he has yet to pay rent."

I smiled again, but then I was shocked when someone else entered the room - someone else of the canine variety. A beautiful chocolate lab timidly sidled up to Jake.

I looked to Edward for explanation. "If you're not a dog person, why do you have a second dog?"

"That's Foxy. She is not my dog, she's Jake's. He brought her home one day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him no. He's pretty much in love, but she doesn't really let me near her. She's not a people dog - which is more than fine by me since I'm not a dog person."

"Oh," I giggled again as I attempted to pet the dark colored beauty. "Foxy?" I questioned.

"Eh, he missed his mountain tail," Edward joked.

"What if she is someone's lost pet?" I questioned. The dog was definitely skittish, but she did let me pet her briefly.

"I caught her long enough to wrestle her to the vet last week, and they scanned her for a chip. She actually has one. Apparently she's been missing in the wilderness and presumed dead for over a year. I don't know where Jake found her. Luckily her previous owners didn't want her back, so she's all his."

"Well… I suppose they have the whole 'lost in the wilderness' thing in common, don't they?" I said, feeling like she definitely fit there with Jake.

"Yeah, but she's pretty much a bitch and cramps our bachelor pad style," he joked, but fell serious once again while changing the subject. "What is all that stuff anyway?" he questioned, gesturing to my mound of belongings at my feet. "Is that the guitar I sent you? I'm not taking it back if that's why you're here."

I laughed once. "I do think it was far too extravagant of a gift, but I'm not about to give it back. I love that thing. I almost have 'I Want It That Way' down by heart. I'm not very good at it, but it's getting better."

"Maybe you should go back to Johnny Cash. Challenge yourself a little more."

"I might eventually, but I have a long way to go before I need to be challenged."

We stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments, and it was actually painful. I felt like we were so close to where we needed to be, but there was just this wall of uncertainty keeping us apart. I wanted to pour my heart out to him, but I found myself scared and stalling.

"This house is… something," I said while looking up at the vaulted ceilings.

He looked up as well, and the nodded. "Built by a rich oil tycoon. He went crazy thinking his family wanted to steal from him, so he moved up here to be away from everyone and everything."

"So what made you want to buy it?" I questioned softly. "Your family and friends are mostly in Seattle, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but I guess I just got tired of everyone asking me if I was okay all the time…and then having to lie."

"So… you're not okay?" I asked concerned.

"Is there even such a thing as being okay anymore?" he asked despondently.

I realized in that moment that Edward had been experiencing the exact same emotions I had since being away from the cabin. I could only hope his reason for being down was the same as mine as well.

"Why are you here, Bella?" he asked after another beat of silence passed between us. His tone was strained, almost pained, and I knew he was over all the forced casual chatter.

"I… uh… was hoping that…um…" I huffed. "Gosh, why is this so hard?" I said with a frustrated smile.

"I don't know, but it is going to get dark soon, and you really don't want to be driving these rural streets at night."

"I miss you," I admitted quickly. It was like ripping off a band aid, and it felt so good to finally get it out. "I've missed you every moment since I left that cabin. We were everything to each other, and then… nothing."

"Yeah well, it's pretty impossible to go from lovers to friends - at least it is for me."

"I'm not here to be your friend, Edward," I murmured.

He glanced down at my hand. "You're not wearing your ring."

"Taking it off was long overdue," I told him, echoing the words he had said to me when I noticed he removed his in the cabin.

"You and Garrett broke up?" he asked quietly.

"We were never really back together. I went home with him because…."

"You know, when I woke up in the hospital, I was pretty freaking confused," he said, cutting me off. "The last thing I remembered was telling you how to thread a suture." He paused, clearly lost in the memory of that horrible day. "So when I realized you had found help, and we were in the hospital, I just wanted to see you. After I learned you were in a different hospital, I asked the doctors if I could call you on the phone. They wouldn't let me of course. But after I was finally released, I… went looking for you. I had a buddy who worked at the DMV, and he traced down your home address for me."

My heart sank. Suddenly I knew where he was going with his story, and it made me absolutely nauseous.

"So I bought some flowers - because I didn't want to show up at your place empty handed," he continued. "But as I was driving to your apartment, I had second thoughts. Flowers seemed so stupid and cliché after everything we had been through, so I pulled over and threw them in the trash. Then I looked up and was surprised to see a music shop right there. I saw that guitar in the window, and I thought it was perfect for you. So I bought it, and brought it right to your place… except you weren't alone."

"Edward, I thought…"

"So, I took the guitar and went back home," he said, unwilling to even let me speak. "I was going to just return it to the store, but what I really wanted to do was bust it against the fucking wall. It's how I was feeling - Like everything was shattering on the inside. I don't know what stopped me from doing it. Instead, I just kept it in my room at my parent's place where I was staying. I would just spend hours staring blankly at it. Everyone around me just kept talking. Talking all the time about how I needed help, or therapy, or some shit like that. They were probably right. But then one day my friend, Emmett, made a joke about how we ate that poor cabin owner out of house and home, and I realized I needed to reimburse him. Mister Waylon was thankful, of course, he didn't have a lot of money. To show his gratitude, he sent all our things back to me. It wasn't until I saw your camera, and dad's glasses, that I realized…" He shook his head. "I realized it didn't matter who you were with, as long as you were happy. I mean, I knew the entire time that you still loved him. You never said anything to make me think otherwise, so really, me stupidly thinking we would stay together… that's on me. I'm not mad… anymore. I really just want you to be happy. So I sent you your things, and the guitar, because in the end, you are still the most incredible person I have ever known, and I wanted you to have it… I want you to have everything you could ever want."

"All I want is you," I told him quickly, before he had a chance to say anything else. "You're all I've wanted since… since we first made it to the cabin. There is a big part of me that didn't even want to leave there. I just wanted to stay with you. After I got word you had woken from your coma, I wanted to contact you, but Garrett said you and Kate were giving your marriage another try, and…"

"Why would he know anything about my marriage to tell you something like that?" he asked confused.

"He and Kate became friends while looking for us. It's what she told him. She thought…"

"I know what she thought," he said evenly. "But I never even considered it for a minute, and I certainly didn't run back to her when I found out you were with Garrett. I'd rather be alone forever than go back to the life I had with her. I was so stupid to be upset when she first asked for a divorce. When I was with her, I had no idea what love really felt like."

"Edward... I was scared of being alone," I tried explaining myself, but he shook his head at me and looked like he was closing himself off. Maybe it was too late. Maybe the damage that was done was too great to overcome. Maybe I lost him the moment I stupidly made the horrible mistake of returning to the apartment I shared with Garrett.

My heart felt like it was shattering all over again. Edward was stubborn, almost as stubborn as I was, and I unknowingly hurt him. His pain was added to my pain, and the weight of it was crushing me. Tears fell down my cheeks, and I became pathetically desperate. Desperate for relief that only he could give me, and I wasn't past begging.

"Edward, I was scared of being alone," I repeated through my tears. "I don't have any real family left to turn to. But alone is exactly what I was without you. I was staying at my old apartment with Garrett, but I wasn't with him - not really. I slept on the couch. I hardly spoke to him, and the couple times he tried to hug me, I pulled away. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have gone home with him at all. I was scared and heartbroken. I thought you were back with Kate. It was all one big horrible misunderstanding. I missed you so much, and it killed me. I knew it couldn't go on like that, so after a couple weeks I left and stayed with my friend. Garrett and I broke up for good over two months ago, and all I wanted was to be with you, but I thought you were married. I should have just found a way to call you. I should have just tried harder. Edward, I'm so sorry, I never…"

"Hey…" he interrupted me once more, but this time he did it while closing the distance between us, and he shockingly cradled my face in his hands. "Stop," he murmured as he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "You don't have to keep trying to convince me. You're here. I'm convinced."

"But I went back with Garrett when I should have talked to you first," I mumbled, still feeling like I was in some huge battle to get him back.

"Shh, it's okay," he cooed while pulling me into him for what had to be, the best feeling I had ever experienced. He held me tightly, yet tenderly, without any empty space left between us. I couldn't help but close my eyes and just breathe him in. "I should have fought harder for you," he added quietly. "I should have knocked on your door and demanded to talk to you that day. This is on me too. I'm so sorry, Bella."

"I love you so much," I mumbled into his chest.

I felt his lips press to my forehead. "I love you too," he said emotionally. "More than you could ever imagine."

He had no idea just how wrong his statement was, because I could do more than just imagine his immense love, I felt it in every fiber of by being. As he held me in that way, I was floating in his love, his smell, his warmth, his essence. It all surrounded me, and consumed me, and I was finally whole again.

There had been a mountain between us – a figurative mountain of misunderstandings, and heartache, and loneliness, but we finally crossed it, and we were finally right where we belonged. In each other's arms, we were finally home.

...

*** **A/N: Aww, what a great ending, right? Except she still hasn't told him about the baby, so there's that. Lol. This is NOT the ending. A few more chapters still to go ;)**


	22. Staying

**Chapter 22 – Staying**

It was easy to forget everything else when I was in Edward's arms. I hardly even knew which way was up at the moment. When he kissed me on the forehead again, he then continued kissing down my face until he reached my lips, and I knew I was a goner. His lips were honestly like a cool drink of water in a blistering desert. If there was a heaven, I was sure it would feel just like this kiss.

As his trail of kisses left my lips and moved to my chin, and then my neck, I wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and let him carry me wherever the hell he wanted, but I absolutely had to put on the brakes.

"Wait," I hissed, forcing the word out as if it was painful – and it was, very painful. It was so incredibly hard to pull away from him.

"What's wrong?" he murmured concerned.

"Nothing is wrong - well, at least I hope you won't think it's wrong," I said nervously, and then I began to ramble. "It's just, I need to tell you something before we go any further, because it's sort of a big deal – well, it's not _sort of_ a big deal, it's definitely a big deal. I just don't want you to feel cornered or stuck or anything."

"Bella, just tell me what's going on," he encouraged gently.

I took a deep breath. "Remember when we talked about STDs while we were fishing?"

He raised a brow. "You have an STD?"

"No… but I do have an STF," I said slowly, knowing he would understand exactly what I was talking about since he had previously made up that abbreviation.

I could see the moment understanding hit him, but he didn't respond immediately, so I started rambling again.

"I know I told you I was on the birth control shot, and I was, but I guess it ran out right before we were rescued. My doctor in Seattle estimated my date of conception was during that week right before the bear attack. But I want you to know, this isn't why I finally left Garrett. We officially broke up months ago, and we haven't been together physically since weeks before I left for my trip to the humpbacks, so I don't want you to think…"

"You're pregnant?" he interrupted me, as if he hadn't heard a word I just said.

I couldn't read his features, so I hesitantly nodded. "And I know you had said you didn't want kids, but…"

"I never wanted kids," he confirmed softly. "Because my marriage was shitty and I spent my days with sick children, but after I told you that at the cabin, I remember thinking that it would actually be nice to have a family with you…if we were ever off that mountain, of course."

My chest tightened. "Really?"

He nodded, and then a smile swept across his beautiful face. "We're really going to have a baby?"

I smiled back at him. "Yeah, we really are."

I didn't even see him move, but suddenly I was back in his arms, and I knew there was nothing left to stand in our way. There were no more secrets or uncertainties. All we had left to do was live.

His sweet embrace morphed back into passionate kissing, and then I was flying - quite literally actually. He had swooped me into his arms, and he was carrying me to where I could only assume was his bedroom, all while never breaking his lips from mine. I didn't even have a moment to look around the room before we crashed to the bed, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I immediately got to work on his pants, however when I tried to pull his shirt off, he put on the breaks.

"Hold on," he mumbled.

I was just about to question him on it, but it quickly became clear what his issue was.

"I know she was your first love and all, but go mess around with Foxy. That's what she's here for," he grumbled while kicking Jake out of the room, and closing the door so he couldn't get back in. "I swear, I thought his crush on you was alleviated by now. He's constantly humping Foxy. I even gave them a room of their own, but they still do it all over the house."

I giggled. "Well, I'm sure it's only fair considering how often he had to watch us do it in the cabin."

He scowled playfully, but then crawled onto the bed back to where I was sitting. "I'm fairly sure he enjoyed watching us. He's pretty perverted, which is exactly why he followed us in here now."

"Somehow I doubt that," I disagreed with a grin.

"Just wait, now that you're here, I bet he completely ignores me. No more begging for belly rubs, or asking me to throw his ball for him."

"Aww, are you jealous and worried I'm going to steal your best friend?" I teased him.

"Best friend?" he scoffed. "No. I'm grateful you're here. Now you'll be the one constantly covered in dog drool."

"Oh, well if that's the reason you're grateful I'm here, I'll just go out there with him," I said, playfully offended as I pretended to get off the bed.

He quickly caught me by my waist, and gently pulled me back into him. He looked at me with so much love, and then tenderly brushed the hair off of my neck so he could kiss me softly there. "I'm grateful you're here… because Jake clearly needs a demonstration on how doggie style is really supposed to be done. Maybe I should let him back in after all."

I let my mouth fall in humorous offense, and I reflexively smacked him in the gut.

"Ow, I'm still healing there!" he whined.

He kept his playful tone, but my mood abruptly shifted.

"Oh my god, Edward I'm so sorry," I said, feeling terrible.

The idea of hurting him at all was horrifying to me, but thankfully he made it clear he was still only joking.

"Hey, I'm fine," he cooed while pulling me in for another embrace. "I was just kidding, I'm all good. See?" he tried assuring me while pulling off his shirt. "It's just ugly, but there's no pain anymore."

My chest tightened as I ran my hand over his still healing wound. The image of him almost bleeding to death as I tried to sew him up was ingrained into my mind. Every time I had closed my eyes, I saw it. Anything that I would come across that was red in color, I'd think of it. It was always there, from the moment it happened…until now. Seeing him just about healed, with nothing left but a fresh developing scar, was so much more cathartic than years of therapy could ever bring me.

"Is it weird that this kind of turns me on?" I asked, surprising the both of us.

He smirked at me. "You're into scars, huh? I wish I could say that I'm surprised by that, but I'm not."

I giggled as he attacked my lips, thus pushing me backwards on the bed so he was hovering over me. Then he sat back on his knees so he could remove my pants.

"Is it weird that nothing surprises me when it comes to you?" he questioned with a mix of humor and arousal heavy in his voice. "Then again…" With my legs free from my pants, he slowly crept his hand up my bare thigh. "Everything surprises me about you."

He leaned down and kissed the spot on my upper thigh where my wound was, and even the sensation of having his lips there shot a tidal wave of aching desire right to my core. But then he pulled back.

"Damn. There is hardly a scar left," he said as he examined my thigh. "I'm too freaking good with my stitching. I should be a plastic surgeon."

I giggled, but my arousal was getting the better of me. "I think it had less to do with your stitches, and more to do with all those massages you gave me. Come to think of it, I could really use another massage on my wound right about now - and by ' _wound_ ', I actually mean vagina."

A smile spread across his face, but he fought it off, and then got all doctor-y. "To be exact, your vagina is here," he said while pushing his fingers under the elastic of my underwear, and right to my opening. He didn't hesitate to slide his finger inside, and I gasped as a response. "But you're not actually talking about your vagina when you say you want a massage," he said as he pulled his fingers out of me, and moved them upwards. "You want a massage here. This is your clitoris, not your vaginal."

He commenced in giving me one of best massages I could possibly experience, and every inch of my body tensed as a result. But as the feeling escalated, he got frustrated by the thin fabric covering his hand, so he withdrew his hand long enough to pull my underwear off my hips.

I couldn't think clear enough to decide if I wanted more of his amazing massage, or if I was ready for him to be completely inside of me. Thankfully I didn't have to make that decision. He removed my top, and then kissed his way down my body, right back to that most sensitive spot between my thighs. It wasn't long until I was just hanging on by a thread, and he knew my body well enough to know it was time.

I wasn't sure when the rest of his clothes came off, but the feeling of his skin as I wrapped my arms around his body, was pure bliss. His flesh was pressed tightly against mine while he entered me, and I had an overwhelming urge to cry. I honestly never thought I'd get the chance to make love to him again, so it was emotional, and the most incredible moment I had ever experienced before. Not only did it feel amazing, but we were finally in a place where we were safe, and healthy, and we had nothing ahead of us except time. There were no more fears, only pure untainted love.

We made love until our strength failed us, and then I fought off sleep as I continued to stare at the marvelous sight of his perfect features.

"You look exhausted," he murmured after some time.

I smiled lazily at him. "I am. It's been a long day…and an even longer three and a half months without you."

"It's been a terrible three and a half months," he agreed softly. "But we're together now, so stop fighting it and go to sleep."

I shook my head stubbornly. "I don't want to miss you yet."

"You won't miss me. I'm right here, and I'll be right here when you wake up."

"What if I wake up and find out this was all just a dream?" I questioned, honestly believing it was a possibility. With my luck, it was more likely than not. I was terrified to take that risk. If I woke up back in Seattle, it would be a devastation I wouldn't be able to ever fully overcome.

"This isn't a dream," he tried convincing me. "I'm never letting you go again."

I smiled. "Promise?"

"Oh, baby, not knocking on your door that day is the worst mistake of my life. I may not be the smartest person, but I do learn from my mistakes."

"You didn't promise."

"I promise," he said with the utmost sincerity. "I love you more than anything. I never want to be away from you again, and I'll do everything possible to make sure you won't ever want to be away from me as well. The last thing I ever want to do is… suffocate you, or drain you, in anyway, so if I ever do something that makes you feel like that, please just tell me, and I will change it. I can't ever lose you again. I barely survived it the first time."

My heart sank from his words. I knew his previous relationship really ended with him feeling like it was all his fault. It made an impact on him, and I needed him to be sure that I was not like that, and never would be.

"Edward, I know you. I know your faults, and I love you for them."

"You know what I'm like in survival mode. I just hope you still love me when everything is calm and steady. I can be a bit boring…and I don't always put the toilet seat down."

I laughed. "Well, I'll just have to break you of that habit." I leaned in to kiss his chest, before looking back at him. "There is nothing in this world that you could do to make me stop loving you. My heart and soul are irrevocably yours."

"Are you sure? Because I'm going to want to marry you, and I don't believe in divorce."

I laughed once. "Says the divorcee."

He nodded in concession. "Let me rephrase. I don't believe in divorcing you."

"Good, because I'll never let you. If we're going to get married though, we should do it before I get any fatter," I semi-joked.

He smiled and then rubbed my stomach tenderly. "I hear the courthouse is beautiful this time of year."

"My friend Alice would kill me if I did that. What if we just do something small in a few weeks? Just family and close friends… We should probably meet each others family and friends."

He moaned. "I just remembered. My parents are actually coming to visit."

I raised my brows. "When?"

"In three days. They haven't seen the house yet, so my mom insisted. She's been calling me five times a day since I got here. I swear she thinks I don't know how to take care of myself."

"Maybe she's right," I said playfully as I looked around his bare bedroom for the first time. "From what I've seen so far, you have zero decorating sense."

"I'm not into all that. I'll tell you what, I'll give you my credit card, and you can pick out whatever you want."

"Nope," I said without hesitation. "If we're going to get married and live here together, we need to split it all, or at least combine bank accounts. I don't want you paying for everything. I made good money off that Nat Geo cover, and I have a job with them moving forward."

"Well, when you put it that way, can I quit my job and just become a kept man?"

"If that's what you want to do," I said seriously, despite knowing he was only kidding.

He fell serious as well. "Bella, I want you to know, we don't have to stay here. I bought this place because I wanted to be away from everyone…and somehow, I felt closer to you here. But I don't care where we are, as long as we are together. If you want to go back to Seattle, we'll go. If you want to go to Timbuktu, I'm game. I'd follow you anywhere."

His room had an amazing view of the mountains, and I couldn't help but glance out as I considered what he was saying.

"I never thought I'd say this, but… I love Alaska. This feels like home to me – Well, you feel like home to me, but I really do love it here. We may rethink it when our kid gets older, but right now I think I really want to stay here... If we can occasionally escape the mountains on vacation that is."

"I-uh, may own a cottage on a private beach in Hawaii," he said unexpectedly.

"You do? How did Kate let that one go in the divorce?"

"No, I just bought it at the same time I bought this place. I figured I may go mad someday from all these frozen peaks around here. I've never actually been there, but I do own it outright."

"You bought it sight unseen?" I questioned.

"Yeah. Well, I do know a guy that lives out there, so he checked it out for me."

"Hawaii huh," I said while letting that one sink in. "I could definitely take pictures there."

"Yeah… but I bought it before Jake moved in with me."

"I bet he'd love the ocean."

"He would. Harry made sure he was well traveled, but Foxy isn't. I need to work on getting her crate trained if she's going to be able to go on an airplane."

"We need to work on getting her crate trained," I corrected him.

"How about you need to work on getting her crate trained. I'm not into dogs."

I laughed. "Okay, I'll take on that responsibility. I'm sure I'll have better luck than you."

"I'm sure you're right about that."

"Speaking of flying, I thought you were terrified of heights and small spaces? Maybe we need to work on getting you crate trained if we are going to be traveling a lot."

He chuckled. "I bet being locked in a crate would be better than looking out a window that high up. But, to be honest, I'm not afraid of that stuff anymore."

"No?"

"No. I suppose it's true what they say about facing your fears. It's easy to overcome them when you've experienced something infinitely more terrifying."

"Which is?"

"Losing you. There is nothing worse than that. I've already experienced it, so everything else seems inconsequential."

"And you'll never experience that again. So there's nothing left you're scared of?" I questioned.

"Well, maybe one thing."

"What?" I asked with a smile.

"Bears."

I didn't know if I should laugh at that one, or huddle into a ball and cry. Bears were probably my last tangible fear as well, and with us being back in Alaska, that fear was escalated. "Maybe we should move then. I'm sure the chances of seeing another bear in this area are pretty good."

"Actually, I've seen a few in the yard since being here. They aren't as scary when they're not starving. I think the bear that got me at the cabin was just waking up from hibernation. The ones around here seem pretty docile. Jake has even gone nose to nose with a couple and nothing came of it. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to go out there to befriend them or anything, and I do own a gun if one ever turns aggressive."

"These walls seem a little more bear proof than the cabin did too," I added, feeling better about the situation.

"If it ever becomes a bigger issue, we can leave. We can leave anytime," he reiterated. But the truth was I didn't want to leave. Not then, not ever – at least, I wouldn't want to ever leave permanently. I could see us making this house our home long term, even if we ever decided to live somewhere else part time. We would always return there, I didn't have a doubt. Alaska was ingrained into our very foundation. We built our love in this environment, and regardless of the way we were almost ripped apart by it, I also knew we were stronger for it as well.

For the time being, we were staying. We would begin our life together here – starting with a trip to the closest home decorating store. There was no point in putting any of it off, or taking time to settle in. With his parents visiting soon, and our wedding to plan, and a baby to prepare for, there was no time to waste. For the first time that I could remember, I was beyond excited to experience every aspect of my immediate future, with the incredible man that I loved more than I ever thought possible...

...

*** **A/N: Still not quite complete just yet. No more drama, just a little fluff to give them their HEA :)**


	23. Perfect

**Chapter 23 – Perfect**

After finally managing to fall asleep that night, I awoke early the next morning and just stared at Edward's beautiful face. He really was perfect in every way.

I was still staring at him when his eyes peeked open, which made him smile.

"You're still here," he mumbled.

"Hey, I thought I was the one who dreamed all of this?" I said lovingly back to him.

"I haven't stopped dreaming of you since the first time I saw you," he told me. "You're practically in every one of my thoughts. It's kind of scary actually. You should probably be creeped out."

I giggled. "It's not scary if you're in all my thoughts too. I'm thoroughly obsessed with you. Are you creeped out?" I asked while tracing his perfect nose with my finger.

"I wasn't before, but now I'm starting to be. What on earth are you doing?" he asked when my tracing moved to his ear.

"I just realized there are places on you that I haven't touched yet. I can't just allow it to continue that way." My finger moved up his cheek, right to that spot between his eyebrows. "I really like your face."

"Well, I really like your face," he replied while reaching up to caress my cheek.

"No, but I really, _really_ like your face. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's the most beautiful face I have ever seen."

"Bella, haven't you been told that it's not safe to drink while pregnant?"

"I'm not drinking. You're just…perfect."

He growled at my words, and then rolled us over so he was back on top. "You're perfect," he murmured before kissing my neck, and letting his hand move up my body to my breasts. "Your boobs are bigger."

"No they're not," I said in disbelief.

"Yes, they are. Look at them," he said while kneading the sensitive tissue.

"Well, don't get too use to it. I'm sure it's only a temporary side effect of my body being invaded by your offspring."

"Baby, I love your breasts no matter what size they are," he said before kissing my nipple. He left kisses all over my body until I was begging for him to come inside me once more. We must have spent half the morning making love, but all too soon our empty stomachs forced us out of bed.

"I can see you need help shopping for food," I said while looking into his mostly empty fridge.

"I had food in there, I just used it. I planned to go shopping yesterday, but then you showed up and distracted me."

"Well, we better get dressed and go shopping then. Your offspring demands regular nourishment."

He chuckled, and then wrapped his arms around me from behind, while rubbing my stomach tenderly. "Of course my baby needs to eat. Both of you do." He kissed my neck, but quickly pulled back and glanced out the window. "At least if we go now we should make it home well before twilight."

"What happens at twilight? You turn into a vampire?" I joked.

"No, however there are a few thousand bats that live close by. But they aren't our only fury neighbors that tend to come out during that time."

"Bears?" I assumed.

"Moose," he informed me. "They like to lie in the streets at night, and they don't care to move until morning, not even for honking cars."

"Oh, I'll bring my camera then," I said with a wink.

He smiled and just shook his head at me. "Is that really all you brought?" he asked while pointing to my small mound of belongings that I had left in the middle of the kitchen floor the day before.

"Yeah. It was hard enough to travel with this amount of stuff. I actually don't have much more, but I left some money with Alice to send it all to me when she gets a chance."

"There are five bedrooms in this house if you want your friends to come visit," he offered.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

He huffed. "Bella, I want this to be your home. You don't have to even ask about that stuff. If you want people to come, invite them. If you want to paint the walls black, hire a painter. I don't care."

I turned and reached my arms around his waist. "You know, it's kind of weird only ever seeing three areas in your own home. Maybe before shopping, you should show me around the house real quick."

"Good idea."

He took my hand, and we walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"I think we should get a big comfy sofa for this room," I told him excitedly.

"Whatever you want," he said carelessly.

He then showed me into a second living room, and it too was just as bare, but with one exception.

"Where did you get that?" I asked, pointing to the huge framed picture of our plane wreckage hanging on the wall. It was the very same image that Nat Geo had used for their cover, which was baffling because the magazine hadn't even hit shelves yet, so I had no idea how he could have gotten a print.

"Uh… I may have cornered the magazine CEO at that party, and paid a shit ton of money for it. Plus I had to sign a contract stating I could never sell it for profit," he explained nonchalantly. "I like it in here actually. Nothing says 'home' better than a picture of a plane crash… and I'm in it, so of course it should be hanging here," he joked.

I laughed once, and then shook my head at him. As we continued to tour the house, I quickly realized that wasn't the only print he bought from Nat Geo. Every single one of my Alaskan shots were framed and hanging in various locations in the house. They were literally the only decorations he had whatsoever.

"You really did miss me, didn't you?" I said emotionally as I found yet another of my prints.

"I really, _really_ did," he confirmed, before kissing me tenderly.

It was extremely difficult to not let that kiss deepen into the extreme passion I was feeling, but at the moment we had other things to do, and I knew there would be plenty of time to make love to him again later.

Next we made our way to Jake and Foxy's room, and I couldn't help but snort when I saw it. They literally had a queen sized bed to themselves, and a ton of blankets and toys in there. Not to mention a TV.

"Do they watch a lot of television?" I questioned.

"Eh. I got them hooked on Game of Thrones, and now they want to watch it far more often than I do, so," he shrugged. "I think Jake just likes the dire wolves. Every time he sees them he licks his lips. I just know he's thinking about how delicious they probably are."

"Ugh. If I never eat wolf meat again, it'll be too soon."

Edward chuckled.

"But, I might have to come in here to watch the show with them. I'm currently on season six," I told him enthusiastically.

"What?" he said, surprised. "What happened to you not watching TV? I go to museums and spend time outside," he playfully mocked me.

"Well, after your wonderful snowman reenactment, I just had to check it out… and you were right. It's awesome. But now I'm dying to know what happens next. Will you watch it with me, or do I need to crash Jake and Foxy's room?"

"Lucky for you, season six is when it starts getting crazy good. I'd gladly watch it again with you. Well, actually I'd probably be willing to watch anything with you – or at least sit next to you and grope you as you're watching it."

We giggled some more, and then finished the tour. In addition to our bedroom, and the room for the dogs, we also had two designated guest rooms - one of which would eventually become the baby's room, and the fifth bedroom Edward sweetly offered as my photography studio and office. The house had so much potential, and I was beyond excited to get the chance to fill it up to become the home it was truly meant to be.

After he showed me everything there was to see in the house, we finally made it to the car so we could drive into town to get something to eat. We held hands the entire way, and I was in awe of the amazing scenery that surrounded us. It was magnificent, and incredible, and I honestly couldn't picture myself ever living anywhere else again.

The small town of Healy actually sits inside the borough of Denali. It had a grand total of six restaurants to eat at, so we selected Rose's Café. It was a casual diner type place, where the locals convened and greeted each other like friends. They all seemed to know Edward already, and were more than excited to welcome me as well. The food was actually pretty good too.

The town didn't offer any stores for home decorating, but they recently had added the Three Bear grocery store, which did have a few cute little things that I picked up, along with all the food we would need for the next couple weeks.

When we finally arrived home, I was eager to start making the soup I planned for dinner, since I knew it would take a few hours to cook. Edward offered to help, but after I saw the way he struggled to cut onions, I told him it was best if he just watched or busied himself with something else.

"How is it you can cut open people, but you have trouble with onions?" I teased him.

"Cutting open people doesn't make me cry," he replied, but then he considered his words. "Wow, that didn't sound good, did it?"

I giggled. "I understand what you mean."

Just as I was about to throw the veggies into the boiling broth, Edward's phone went off. For whatever reason, I stopped what I was doing, and just waited until he was done with his call.

"Babe, I hate to do this, but…"

"You have to go into work?" I figured.

"Yeah. Someone brought a kid into the E.R. who's suffering with unexplained seizures. They need me to examine her."

I sighed. I hated the idea of being separated from him, even for only a couple hours, but I would never be upset about him leaving in that manner. He was a doctor, and if someone needed help, then I was so proud that he could be the one to help them.

"Okay. I'll – uh, put the soup on the backburner, and just start working with Foxy while you're gone," I said, genuinely happy to have the chance to get to know her better.

"You know what – why don't you come with me to the hospital?" he suggested unexpectedly.

"Really? But I don't want to get in the way, or anything."

"It's a small hospital, everyone is friendly. That's where you'll need to go for your prenatal appointments anyway, so it's probably a good idea for you to come and get all that set up."

My smile widened. It was always a little nerve-racking to start care with a new doctor, but I was ecstatic to go see Edward's workplace, and to meet the doctor who would ultimately deliver our baby. It was just another aspect of normal life that I was eager to experience with Edward.

The drive took about forty five minutes, but once we got there, I was weirdly excited to see that there was a Target superstore adjacent to the hospital. It was a little piece of familiarity that helped me feel even more at home in that area.

"We may need to go there after you're done working today," I told Edward.

"Whatever you say, my love," he replied as he parked the car.

We both got out, and then held hands as we headed into the hospital.

Edward wasn't kidding when he said everyone was friendly. Every single one of the people working there stopped to say hello as we passed.

Edward was in a rush to see his patient, so after showing me where the maternity area of the hospital was, he hurried on his way. The staff there was also beyond friendly, and treated me like an extended member of their family. I set up an appointment with the resident OB, and I was excited that she was young and seemed easy to talk to. Doctor Carmen Eleazar was everything I could want in the doctor who would be delivering my baby.

After my appointment was set for the following week, one of the nurses took it upon herself to lead me to where Edward was working on the pediatric floor.

I sat on a bench near that floor's nurse's station to wait for him, and thankfully, for the first time since I left the airport, I finally had cell service. So I took a minute to pull up my text conversation with Alice, and let her know everything was going amazingly. Of course, before she even had time to respond, I was being greeted by another friendly stranger.

"Hey there. Can I help you with something?" a man asked me. I looked up from my phone and was surprised to see a very handsome doctor flashing his big dimples at me.

"Uh, no thanks. I'm just waiting for someone," I replied politely. A ding from my phone let me know Alice had responded, so I glanced down at her message.

 **A –** _It's a good thing you finally let me know you're alive. I was about five minutes from calling another search party for you. Any hot single men out there?_

I giggled at her question, and like some weird coincidence, that's when the handsome doctor made his move.

"So, are you waiting for a family member, or like a platonic friend?" he asked awkwardly.

I looked up at him somewhat amused. "Do you normally pick up visitors to this floor?"

"No, it's just not everyday that a beautiful woman shows up here without a ring on her left hand."

I nodded. "I see. I guess I should tell my fiancé it's time to get me a ring. Then again, it won't be long until my baby bump is big enough to be noticed. That should detour any unwanted attention," I told him while rubbing my still flat stomach.

"Fiancé, with a baby on the way, huh? Crap! I'm always too late," he said as he sulked off.

"Don't hold a grudge against poor Doctor Whitlock," one of the nurses told me as she hung up the phone. "He's been single a long time. The man to woman ratio out here is like four to one. A lot of desperate men in these parts. He probably hasn't seen a young attractive single woman in years."

"And he still hasn't seen one. I'm nowhere close to single," I told her.

She leaned in as if she was going to tell me a secret. "If I was young and single, I probably would have gone after Doctor Cullen too. That man is fine with a capital F. You are a lucky girl."

I giggled. "I sure am."

I thought the entire thing was so funny that I just had to tell Alice.

 **B –** _Dude, you want a man, you should come out here. There is a cute single doctor so desperate for a woman he isn't even smooth about it._

 **A –** _How cute?_

I smirked.

 **B** – _Pretty cute. Wavy sandy colored hair. Dimples. Definitely your type._

 **A –** _I'm on my way_.

I laughed.

"So, I hear it's time to get you a ring?" Edward said as he walked over to me. I looked up from my phone, and was surprised to see Dr. Whitlock standing there with him, looking fairly guilty.

"I believe I owe you an apology, ma'am," Dr. Whitlock said to me.

I laughed. "That's okay, no offense taken. I'm sure the lack of ladies in this area can make men a little desperate."

"Yeah… I mean no... I mean I think you're very pretty. I mean, I would love to date you, but - uh," he fumbled over his words.

Edward placed his hand on his shoulder. "Jasper, you should probably quite while you're not ahead."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Edward took my hand as I stood, and leaned in for a sweet kiss hello. "This is Jasper. He's the local pediatrician in these parts."

"I transferred here from Texas three years ago," Jasper explained. "Longest three years of my life."

I laughed. "I thought I detected a little southern accent in your voice," I said to him. "Very cool. I'm sure as soon as a single lady comes around, you would be at the top of her list of prospects."

"Should I give you guys some time alone?" Edward asked, playfully jealous.

I laughed and then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "I only have eyes for you, baby."

"Gah, I want that," I heard Jasper whine to himself. "I really need to go into Anchorage and visit some single's bars."

"You don't have to worry about finding someone single. Bella wasn't when I knocked her up," Edward joked.

"Yeah, I wouldn't brag about that," I told him.

"Wait, did you just make a joke?" Jasper asked him surprised. "Damn, Cullen! I never knew you had it in you."

"It wasn't a joke. She was engaged to someone else when we were stranded together," Edward replied evenly.

"Yeah, but you said it in a funny way," Jasper laughed, and then he turned to me. "I swear, I've talked to him more in the last hour than I have the entire time he's worked here so far. He must have been really missing you. Now I'm actually glad you're here for him instead of being single. I think Cullen might end up being cool after all."

"I wouldn't count on it," Edward deadpanned.

"Bye, Doctor Cullen," a little voice said from behind me. I reflexively turned around and saw a little girl smiling and waving at Edward.

Edward smiled at her in return, and then he squatted down so he was closer to her level. "I'm so glad I got to meet you today, Claire. With that new medicine you should be feeling much better soon."

Her smile widened. "And I can go fishing with my daddy?"

"You certainly can," he assured her.

"Thank you, Doctor Cullen," the girl's mother said. "We are so grateful to have a specialist like you so close to home."

"Well, I'm happy to be here," he told her.

"Bye, Doctor Cullen," the little girl said again, before unexpectedly wrapping her arms around Edward's neck.

Edward looked surprised by the sudden embrace, but he hugged her back, and then little girl and her mother were on their way.

The entire exchange was so heartwarming, and I knew if I wasn't already in love with him, I certainly would have been after witnessing that.

"Whatever happened to calling your patients by their last name?" I questioned with a big dumb love-struck grin on my face. Everything I thought I knew about his bedside manner as a doctor was completely wrong, or perhaps he really has changed.

Edward shrugged. "Eh, I figured it couldn't hurt to be a little more personable."

I hugged him again, and I swear, if he wasn't holding me up I would have melted into a big gooey puddle at his feet.

"You ready to go?" he asked me.

"Are you done already?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I only had that one patient I needed to see today. Unless…" He looked at Jasper. "Do you need extra help right now?"

"Nah. We're pretty slow today," Jasper told him. "Go enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thanks."

Edward and I said goodbye to everyone, and then we left for home, choosing to shop at Target another time.

"So, if you're a pediatric neurosurgeon, are there really enough patients here to keep you busy?" I asked curiously on the car ride home.

"I have patients that come from all over the area, and since I've been here, I have treated adults with neurological disorders as well. But, I am qualified to help in other areas of medicine, so most of the time I'm backing up the ER staff, or Jasper on the pediatric floor."

"Oh, that makes sense."

Although we didn't stop at Target on our way home, we did find a cute little antique shop on the side of the highway that was full of little gems. We filled up the back of Edward's SUV, and I was probably the most excited I had ever been about decorating anything. We arrived home just before twilight, and after putting my soup back on the stove, we got to work placing all our new items around the house.

Even with those few decorative additions, I could see the cold barren house morphing into a warm beautiful home that truly felt like mine just as much as his. I could see it coming together so perfectly in my mind, and I was already so in love with everything about the place.

We shared another beautiful serene evening together, however the following morning I strangely woke up alone.

"Edward?" I asked groggily when I realized he wasn't in bed with me. Still half asleep, I stumbled my way into the master bathroom, and that was where I found his note...

 _My Love,_

 _I had to run into town for a bit. Hopefully I'll return before you wake up to even know I was gone. I love you. See you soon._

..

"Run into town, huh?" I grumbled, wondering why he didn't just wake me up before he left. To bide my time, I decided to work with Foxy for awhile with the crate, but she wasn't having it at all. I tried treats, and toys, and I even convinced Jake to go in first in the hope of convincing her, but she wanted nothing to do with it.

"I see you're not going to make this easy on me," I said to her. The crate was definitely going to be difficult, however I nearly cried when she let me pet her, and she even licked my arm. It was a monumental first step, and what can I say, I was a hormonal mess – a happy hormonal mess, but still a mess.

I spent most of the morning getting better acquainted with Foxy, as well as making up for lost time with Jake. I could have spent all day with them, but I was anxiously curious where Edward went.

I pulled out my phone to see if I had any texts from him, and when I saw the 'no service' sign, I realized I needed to get a satellite phone again. The only time the damn thing worked was in the hospital.

So basically I had no way to contact Edward. I certainly hoped there were no emergencies while he was away.

As lunch time approached, I got even more anxious, so I did what any self-respecting pregnant woman would do in that situation – I looked for food. I had never been a stress eater, but apparently I was while pregnant, and despite munching on some toast to alleviate my morning sickness, I was suddenly starving.

"We just bought a bunch of groceries yesterday, and I'm still looking in here like there's nothing to eat," I said to Jake as I scanned the refrigerator.

I just happened to glance out the kitchen window, and my stomach nearly jumped into my throat. Playing just outside the porch steps, were two medium sized brown bears.

My first thought was terror, but as I stood in the kitchen and watched them, I soon found myself relaxing and actually smiling at the sweet looking creatures. To see them in that light surely helped ease my fear of them.

The bears didn't stay long. They disappeared just as quickly as they had come, so I returned to my blank staring into the fridge. Of course, the moment I let my guard down there was a sudden thump at the front door, and I screamed.

"Whoa, babe. Are you okay?" Edward asked concerned as he rushed inside.

I put my hand on my chest as I tried to calm my breathing. "Gosh, you startled me. There were bears out there, so…"

"Everything is okay," he said gently as he embraced me. "Bella, if you're worried about the bears…"

"I'm not," I cut him off. "I actually enjoyed watching them. You just caught me by surprise. Where did you go? Your note said you were hoping to be back before I woke up, but it's lunch time – Do I smell pizza?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. "I left it in the living room when I heard you scream. I remember you telling me in the cabin how much you love pepperoni pizza, so I brought one home as an apology for being late."

"Pizza is definitely a good apology," I said while walking around him to go attack the pizza. "What's all of this?" I asked of the bag of stuff sitting besides the pizza on the couch.

"I got you some things. Satellite phone," he said, pulling a new phone out of the box. "And a new car, and a few things for your office."

"W-w-wait. Back up. Did you just say you got me a new car?" I asked with raised brows. "That's not something you just go pick up? Or run out to get at the crack of dawn."

He nodded. "I know, I apologize. I figured you would be upset by that one, but just hear me out. I have to work tomorrow morning for a bit before my parents get here, and I really don't want to leave you stranded without a car. I actually didn't even buy it yet, it's more like a test drive where we keep the car for the weekend and return it if we don't like it."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Something is up."

He smirked at me. "I don't know what could possibly be up."

"I don't know either, but you're acting funny. And you know I would want to pick out and buy my own car, so…what's up?"

He chuckled. "Let's go check it out."

I grabbed a slice of pizza as I followed him out front, but I paused when I saw the bright yellow Hummer sitting in the driveway.

"Wow. That's…practical. I can't wait until I have to get a car seat in there," I grumbled.

"It may just be slightly over the top," Edward agreed. "But come look inside. It's really awesome."

I took two steps closer to the monstrous vehicle, but then I realized something.

"How did you drive your car back here and this thing?" I questioned when I noticed his red SUV parked next to the yellow beast.

"Stop asking so many questions, and just look inside the Hummer. You're going to ruin it."

"Ruin what?" I asked confused. I grudgingly complied, but the moment I opened the driver's side door, I jumped, nearly having a heart attack while dropping my slice of pizza on the ground.

"God, you are so stubborn!" Alice scolded me as she practically jumped out of the car to give me a hug.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in shock.

"I told you I was coming," she said with a smile.

"I thought you were joking. Who comes this far just for a date?"

She giggled. "I didn't come here for sexy Doctor Dimples. I came here for you, silly."

"Sexy Doctor Dimples?" Edward questioned as he popped open his trunk to pull out Alice's suitcase.

"I told her about Jasper," I explained.

"Sexy Doctor Dimples, huh?" he repeated. "I think I should be worried."

"Oh, no need for you to worry, McDreamy," Alice told him dismissively. "Bella has never had a wandering eye… except when it came to you, I guess."

Alice was right, my eyes never wandered until Edward came into my life. And now I had Edward and Alice both in the same place at the same time. This was turning out to be a truly perfect day.


	24. Yes

**Chapter 24 – Yes**

"So what are you doing here, really?" I asked Alice as she walked around the Hummer to get something out of the back.

"You were supposed to call me the moment you arrived here, remember?" she scolded me. "When I didn't hear from you, I panicked a bit. Do you have any idea how common it is for planes to crash in this area?"

I shrugged.

"Well, it's a lot more common than it is in the lower forty eight. Anyway, so I got worried, and I decided that if I didn't hear from you by the next morning I was going to come out here…and I didn't hear from you."

"Alice, I texted you yesterday afternoon. I told you that the service out here is horrible," I argued.

"Yes, but I had already bought my ticket. Anyway, here I am. And I have something for you."

"What?"

She smirked, and then pulled out a big white garment bag.

"Doc McDreamy said you guys talked about getting married in the next few weeks, so hopefully you won't be too mad at me for this one."

I narrowed my eyes at her, and then hesitantly opened the bag. I could do nothing but stare flabbergasted at the gown inside.

"Don't even be grumpy about this, B," she warned me. "This is your dream dress, and the only reason why you didn't buy it for the last wedding you had planned was because it's hella expensive."

I nodded. "Yeah, way too expensive." I turned to Edward who was just walking back out from the house to grab more things out of the car. "Did you send her money for this?"

"Nope," he said without hesitation. "She said you would never allow me to buy you a wedding dress. We actually had a great conversation after I picked her up from the airport. She gave me a lot of insight about you," he said with a wink.

"By the way," Alice cut back in. "This yellow beauty is only a rental until you can buy your own car. He wanted to buy it, and I told him it would just piss you off."

"Thank god for that," I said with a laugh. The Hummer was beyond gaudy, and not something I would ever pick to buy. "Okay, so back to the dress. If he didn't buy it, where did you get the money for it?" I asked her.

"I maxed out my credit cards. Bella, you love this dress. You couldn't afford it when you were planning your other wedding, but you can now. I didn't want you to have to wait to have it shipped, and I didn't want you talking yourself out of it. So if you don't buy it from me, I'm going to be totally broke," she said with a poor attempt to look sad.

I sighed. "Alice, you suck."

"Or I'm the bestest best friend ever!" she said enthusiastically while holding her hand out for Edward to slap.

When he didn't give her the high five she wanted, she huffed. "You really don't understand the concept of a high five, do you?" She shook her head. "Bella, forget the dog training, you need to work with Doc on how to be less up tight."

I smirked. "Edward is very funny."

"No, I'm not," he denied.

"Well, to me you are," I said lovingly, before kissing him on the lips.

"You guys are so cute," Alice squealed. "I am so excited to watch you get married in your perfect dress."

I wanted to scowl at her, but it was impossible because I was so overjoyed to get to marry Edward too. I was even willing to put up with my sneaky best friend and her sweet con-job to get me the dress of my dreams.

As much as I hated the idea of spending a small fortune on a dress I would only wear once, it was absolutely beautiful. Alice knew me far too well, and whether I was willing to admit it or not, I was so happy she forced the dress on me in that way.

"Well, I'm not sure why you couldn't tell me you were coming, but having you here is definitely a wonderful surprise," I told Alice as the three of us sat down to eat the pizza.

"It wasn't meant to be a big surprise like this. I bought the plane ticket when I didn't hear from you, and the first flight I could get was a redeye. I arrived super early this morning, and your phone wasn't working, but I did keep a copy of Edward's satellite number when Kate gave it to you. So I got a hold of him, and because of the hour, he decided to let you keep sleeping. I guess he's been wearing you out these past couple days, huh?" she said with a wink and an elbow to my side.

"So what's up with the rental car then?" I questioned, choosing to ignore her last comment.

"That was also my idea," Alice informed me. "With him only having that one car, I figured we may want to go into town to do some shopping, or venue hunting, or something, and not be forced to take his only means of transportation. I picked out the Hummer, by the way. I can't believe they had something like that to rent," she giggled. "But it all took way longer than we were expecting. I think he really thought he could pick me up from the airport and be back here quickly."

"Obviously he never met you before," I said with a laugh, and then I turned to Edward. "Nothing done with Alice is ever quick."

"I've gathered that," he grimaced playfully.

"Actually, none of it took very long," Alice corrected me. "We were making good time until we went to the phone store to get you the satellite phone. I got one too. The place wasn't even crowded, but it took forever."

"Yeah, phone places usually take a while. I'm glad to have a satellite phone though, so thank you," I said while leaning in to kiss Edward.

"You guys are so cute," Alice repeated. "So when are you inviting Doctor Dimples over so I can meet him?"

"We're not exactly close friends," Edward told her.

"No better way to become friends than to invite him over," Alice replied.

"How about the next time I'm at work, I just ask him if he wants to meet you, and we can go from there?" Edward suggested.

"Perfect. Thank you!" Alice squealed. "But tell him I'm cute. No beautiful! Tell him I'm really good looking… oh, but then his hopes might get too high. How about you just tell him I'm cute?"

Edward shrugged, and then looked at me like she was crazy, so I just smiled and shook my head. Alice had a tendency to grow on people, and I was sure he would eventually learn to love her like I do.

Our conversation soon morphed into wedding planning, and I was certainly grateful Alice was there for that. If anyone could pull together a wedding in just a couple weeks, it was her. She refused to let Edward just be a bystander in the planning either. She kept asking him his opinion on things, and surprisingly, I could tell when he actually became more comfortable with her. He visibly relaxed into the funny sweet guy I knew him to be.

When he left us alone for a few minutes to go grab some firewood for the evening, Alice couldn't sing his praises enough.

"I know I was giving him a hard time about being so rigid, but I really like him, Bella. I can see how much he loves you, and it's clear how happy he makes you. This whole thing is like three months overdue. You really should have forced yourself to talk to him the moment you were out of the hospital."

"I know. It's three months we can't ever get back," I said sadly, however I wasn't about to waste another minute with regret. Edward and I were finally right where we were meant to be, and I was nothing but ecstatic. "It has been fun making up for lost time though," I told her with a meaningful smile.

"And the last thing I want to do is get in the way of your little love nest here," she said unexpectedly. "So I'm only going to stay overnight, and tomorrow I will go get a hotel or something."

"I wasn't trying to imply that I don't want you here," I tried assuring her. "I'm truly happy you're here."

"I know, but still. You guys need your space to fuck around the house, so…"

"Well, how long were you planning to be here?" I interrupted her.

"Alaska is way too far to fly back and forth to, so I figured I'd have to stay until the wedding. You're planning it for a couple weeks from now, right? I'm sure we will be super busy until then."

"Alice, what about your job?" I questioned her.

She shrugged. "I took leave. I'm not too worried about it. I never liked that job much anyway, and my family has been driving me nuts lately. I'm so glad to use your wedding as an excuse to get away from all that."

"A couple weeks is a long time to stay in a hotel," I told her. "His parents are coming tomorrow, but we have two guest rooms."

"I don't want to be in the way of you getting to know your future in-laws either," she insisted.

"Hey, I just remembered," Edward said as he walked back into the house and only caught the tail end of our conversation. "I have a little rental house here."

"You do?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, it's not far from here. I rented it when I first came out here to look for a house since there aren't any hotels nearby. It was a year lease, so I'm still paying on it."

"It's empty?" I asked him.

"Yeah. It came fully furnished, so it has a bed, and a couch, and stuff. It's not fancy at all, but it's decent…and free to you."

"Sounds like home for the next few weeks," Alice said excitedly. "See? It's all working out," she sang. "I'll go there tomorrow so you guys can visit with your parents."

The three of us – well five including the dogs, hung out and chitchatted most of the afternoon. Edward grilled up some steaks for dinner, and then we settled in to watch more Game of Thrones episodes by the fire. Everything about that day was awesome. Edward and Alice bonded over their mutual love for the orange bearded character in the show, and I couldn't have been more excited. Alice was the closest thing I had to family left, and it meant the world to me that she was quickly becoming like a sister to Edward too. Even the dogs seemed to love her. I was certainly going to miss her when she went back to Seattle.

Despite us all having a great time together, Alice turned in early that night, claiming she was exhausted from the trip. I knew her real reason for going to bed was to give Edward and me some time to ourselves, which was just one more reason I loved her. She was pushy without being smothering, and I was so incredibly grateful.

It was a beautiful clear night, so Edward and I grabbed a blanket, and went out to the porch. He sat on one of the reclining chairs, and even though there were several other seats to choose from, I decided to sit right on his lap, just like we often did in the cabin. I rested my head against his shoulder, and his arms wrapped around me with one of his hands coming to rest on my stomach. We spent several beautiful minutes just silently watching the bright stars twinkling above us.

"You know, this was my favorite thing about the cabin," I told him after a bit. "This, right here. Just sitting outside with you, and enjoying the sky, and the quiet stillness of the mountains. After we left there, I never thought I'd get the chance to experience it again. But look, here we are."

"Here we are," Edward agreed. "It is really beautiful. I actually haven't looked up at the sky at all since the last time we did it at the cabin."

"Me either," I realized. "I guess that was our thing. It wouldn't have been the same without each other."

"It wouldn't have been the same at all. Thank you, Bella."

I smiled confused, and then sat up so I could turn to look at him. "Why are you thanking me?"

"You came and found me. I didn't have the guts to do it, but you did. You came. We're together right now because you were brave enough to take a huge leap of faith. And I'm so grateful you did."

I shook my head in disagreement. "I didn't take that leap, Edward. I was a coward and was hiding within myself for far too long. If I wasn't pregnant and felt the need to tell you, I would probably still be hiding."

"We would have found our way back to each other eventually," he said confidently.

"I like to think we would have."

"But even if it took you finding out you were pregnant to come find me, you still did it. I know it couldn't have been easy, and I just want you to know how grateful I am to have you here."

I smiled and then cozied back into his chest. "I just needed to come home."

He rubbed my back tenderly, and kissed my head. "And I've been told, by multiple people now, that I need to get you a ring," he said unexpectedly.

I sat back up and looked at him.

"For the record," he continued, "I didn't need anyone to tell me. I've wanted you to wear my ring since that night we spent in the cave."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Do you remember how you put my hand under your shirt to warm it up?" When I nodded, a smile stretched across his face. "The moment I touched your stomach, I was such a goner. I hated that other ring you were wearing so damn much. I kept wishing it would fall off and you would lose it."

I laughed once. "I'm actually really glad I didn't lose it. That ring was the only thing that kept me going in the first couple weeks after I went back to Seattle."

Edward grimaced, so I reached up to rub out the wrinkles between his brows.

"It had nothing to do with Garrett," I assured him. "Don't be grossed out, but it was covered with your blood." I shrugged. "It was all I had left of you. I couldn't bring myself to wash it or take it off."

He nodded in what I assumed was understanding, but then he made a joke of it. "Yeah… that is gross."

I giggled. "Hey, I was in a dark place."

"Obviously," he teased me. "I can't imagine what you would have done if I actually died."

My stomach twisted. "I don't even want to think about it."

He chuckled at my sudden mood drop, and then he became bound and determined to make me laugh. He rolled himself out from under me, and went straight to my tickle spots that he knew far too well. Never in my previous eight year relationship had Garrett ever tried to tickle me, or be half as playful as Edward was. It was something I didn't even know I wanted or needed in a partner, but I loved every moment of it with Edward.

"What happened to that stiff Doctor Cullen I first met at the airport?" I asked when my laughing had slowed.

"You broke him," he replied without missing a beat, but then he brushed the hair out of my face sweetly, while looking at me with an expression of utmost love and sincerity. "Actually, the crash broke me, and then you built me up into a much better person. I don't think I've laughed…or even just genuinely smiled since my sister died. You have brought joy back into my life, Bella. I love you more than you could ever know."

"I do know, because I love you even more."

He smiled and shook his head. "That's not even possible." He then shifted his weight so he could dig something out of his pocket. "I actually had another reason to sneak out to pick up Alice this morning. Since I don't know your preferred style of jewelry, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to take your best friend shopping with me."

He handed me the small black ring box, and smiled while he waited for me to open it. I smiled back at him, despite thinking it was a little odd that he didn't open the box for me as typical proposals went. Then again, Edward was far from typical.

When I opened the box, I was shocked. The ring was beautiful, and entirely unexpected - The giant stone in the middle wasn't a diamond, it was a deep red garnet.

"Wow, it's beautiful," I said, at a loss for better words. I should have known Edward wouldn't pick a boring generic diamond as an engagement ring, or perhaps I was still wrong…

"This isn't an engagement ring," he said, confusingly.

"It's not?" I asked perplexed, and of course my confusion made me ramble. "I thought you… I mean, you said you were going to get me a ring, so I figured… I mean, we talked about.."

"The garnet," he interrupted me. "Is the baby's birthstone – or at least it will be once it's born. You said you were due in January, right?"

And of course, that started the waterworks flowing. As much as I would have loved whatever engagement ring he picked out, the fact that he got me a ring for our baby was so special, and completely unexpected in the best possible way. But after he placed the ring on my right hand, he had more to give me.

"So, before I offer you what else I have, I need to explain," he said, making me slightly nervous by the way he suddenly became nervous. "When I was a kid, I used to play with a certain ring on my mom's hand. I would just twirl it and twirl it whenever I was sitting with her. She said it was her grandmother's, and I was strangely fascinated by it. Then one day I asked her if I could have it." He shrugged. "I must have been seven or so, and I was super into pirates at the time. I thought it was treasure. Anyway, she told me that it was a very special ring, and had been in our family for many generations, but that she planned to give it to Bree." He nodded absently at the memory. "Bree never got to an age where she would have been able to properly care for it, so my mom put it away for me. When things got serious with Kate, my mother gave me the ring to give to her, but… I never did. I wasn't sure if it was because Kate wasn't into vintage sentimental jewelry, or if I just knew deep down that we didn't belong together. Either way, I've kept it all these years, and like I told you a bit ago, ever since that night in the cave, I've had vivid images in my mind of that ring being on your hand. It was weird. We weren't even together then, but I kept seeing it. So, when I picked up Alice today, I asked her if she thought you would prefer a new ring, or if maybe you would actually want my old family heirloom. She advised that I should give you an option."

He pulled the unboxed ring out of his pocket, and held it out to show me.

"Oh wow," I gasped. It was honestly the single most beautiful piece of jewelry I had ever seen.

"So," he continued. "If it's not really your style, it's truly okay. I can give it to our daughter someday, and just buy you something else."

"Our daughter?" I smiled.

He shrugged. "Or our son… but I have a pretty good feeling it's going to be a girl."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"I don't know, I just think it will be. Either way, I'm not going to be upset if you decide you'd rather have something no one else has ever worn, or a more modern style. I just want you to wear an engagement ring from me in some way, so I need to get you a new one tomorrow if that's what you choose."

I put my hand on his face, and then leaned in to kiss him tenderly. "I love you," I murmured. "And I would be honored to wear your family heirloom."

"You don't have to," he repeated, still unsure.

"I really, truly, sincerely, want to. I think it's beautiful, and I love that it means so much to you. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect," I told him emotionally.

He smiled triumphantly, and I smiled widely back at him, while holding out my hand expecting him to place the ring on my finger, but he pulled it back.

"Now hold on, I haven't even asked you anything yet," he said with a laugh.

"Sorry," I replied, trying to fight off my smile, but it was next to impossible.

He got off the chair, and pulled me up with him. Without releasing my hands, he knelt down in front of me.

"Isabella Swan, I love you more than I ever thought possible. I want to spend every moment, of every day with you, and even when life forces us to spend some hours apart, you will never be far from my thoughts. I'm so excited to experience every aspect of this amazing life with you, and I promise you, I will never take a second of it for granted. Will you do me the extraordinary honor, of being my wife?"

With my face drowning in the happiest tears I ever had, I pulled him up so I could wrap my arms around him. "I love you so much."

"Is that a yes?" he mumbled into my hair.

"Yes! Of course it's a yes," I said in a blubbering mess of happiness.

It was such a beautiful moment, and I couldn't imagine anything more perfect. If our future was even half as wonderful as that evening, I knew we had one hell of an amazing life ahead of us...


	25. Real

**Chapter 25 – Real**

Edward and I were practically engaged from the moment I arrived at his house. We had already discussed our wedding plans, but having him actually formally ask me, seemed to make it feel that much more real. Edward and I were going to be married, and our lives were rolling along full steam ahead. I couldn't possibly be any happier.

Alice must have known Edward's plan to propose that night, because the following morning she bounced right over to where I was sitting at the kitchen bar, and she squealed while looking at the rings on both my hands.

"Oh, I knew you would want the vintage heirloom," she said excitedly. "And they both fit! When Edward showed me his granny's ring, I just knew it would be perfect for you. It was already your size too. No need to adjust it at all. It's fate Bella. He never gave it to the weathergirl with big hands, because he didn't love her, and it wouldn't have fit her anyway. It was meant to be yours!"

I laughed once. "Well, I'm glad you advised him to give it to me. I do truly love it," I told her as I twisted my wrist back and forth looking at the beautiful ring.

"Of course you do, because it's perfect for you. Oh, I hope Doctor Dimples has a vintage family heirloom to give to me someday."

"Alice, you haven't even met him yet," I chided her.

"Yeah, but I'm going to marry him. I just know it. I have a sixth sense, remember?"

I could do nothing but laugh at her.

"Speaking of sexy men, where is yours? He sure made you holler last night. I was so freaking jealous."

"I did not holler," I readily denied.

"I know. Why not? I sure would be."

I huffed at her. "Alice…"

"Oh, B, I'm just teasing you. I'll stop now."

"Thank you. And to answer your question, Edward is out for a run with Jake," I told her.

"He's a runner too? Gosh, could he get anymore perfect?"

I smiled. "I know, he is perfect. I'm going to need to get my lazy ass out there running with them too. I'm just glad I could use you as an excuse to stay today."

"You're pregnant. Use that as an excuse. Let yourself get nice and plump, and worry about losing the baby weight later. With how perfect McDreamy is, he would probably love you even more if you were big. He seems like the 'there's just more of you to love' type of guys."

"I don't think he would prefer me bigger, but he wouldn't mind either. He just likes to run because he says it reduces the stress of his job. He's been running just about every morning since he started medical school… except while we were in the cabin. It was too cold up there, and I didn't want him to take the risk of getting lost and forcing us to be separated," I said, remembering the time in the cabin when he actually thought about going for a run and I practically begged him not to.

"Well, it's good he found something to help him with stress. I'm sure being a doctor would be stressful enough to drive anyone to their breaking point without some kind of release. I'll remember that when I'm with Dimples."

I laughed at her again. "Being a doctor is definitely stressful…but not as stressful as meeting your future in-laws. Alice, I could hardly sleep last night. I love my ring so much, but then I remembered what Kate had said at that restaurant when we saw her."

"What did she say?" Alice questioned.

"She must have told me three times how much she loved his parents. How they were like second parents to her."

"Okay? That's good, right?"

"Edward said he stayed with Kate so long because of his parents. Clearly they adored her."

Alice reluctantly nodded. "They did seem like they adored her."

"What?" asked confused by her comment.

"I met them after your plane crashed. I came out here with Garrett, and we met Kate, and Edward's parents. They did seem pretty close to Kate. The three of them kept hugging and crying together, and even holding hands a lot. Those first few days when we were all gathered in the rescue center hoping to hear any news about you guys, they hardly left each other's side."

"Great. Now, here I am, taking her place, and wearing Mrs. Cullen's grandmother's ring when she wanted Kate to have it. They are going to hate me."

"Oh Bella, you can't let yourself freak out about this," Alice stated with a sigh. "Edward picked you. If they don't want to stand by their son's choice, then they can go fuck themselves."

"I don't want to create a wedge between Edward and his parents, and I don't want them to go fuck themselves. I don't have parents left, so they will be my baby's only grandparents. I want them to like me."

"I get what you're saying, but you can't force anyone to like you, Bella. If they don't, then that's their problem. Besides, they live in a completely different state. Edward didn't have a problem moving away from them, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."

I knew Alice was right, but knowing it and actually believing it were two different things. Regardless of knowing it wouldn't change my relationship with Edward either way, I still couldn't help anxiously hoping they would like and accept me.

"Hey, why didn't Foxy go with the boys on the run?" Alice asked as the dark Labrador quietly snuck into the kitchen to get her breakfast.

"Edward said she usually stays home. He wasn't sure why. It's just about the only time she's not by Jake's side."

"Wait, do you think she's pregnant?" Alice asked with a theatrical gasp.

"Thankfully, no. Both dogs are fixed."

"Aww, I was hoping Dimples and I could adopt one of their puppies."

I rolled my eyes. Alice was planning a future with a man she never even met, and I wasn't sure if it was ridiculous, seriously insane, or just funny as hell.

Just then we heard the back door open, and Jake's heavy paws came thumping inside. He ran right to me, and immediately tried to jump on my lap.

"Well, hello to you too," I said while roughing his collar.

Edward walked in a minute later looking deliciously sweaty, and playfully annoyed by Jake. "Dude, we talked about this! Your chick is right there. Leave me mine."

I giggled and then gently pushed Jake off of me so I could stand to greet Edward.

"You're all sticky," I said wrapping my arms over his neck.

"Yeah, I bet I smell awesome too," he replied with a smile before leaning down to kiss my lips. "I need to go shower. I have to go to work for a bit before I pick up my parents from the airport."

"Oh, can I come?" Alice asked eagerly. "To your work, I mean. I need to meet my future husband. Maybe you can show me to the rental house after."

"Let's both get dressed and follow him there in the Hummer," I suggested. "I need to know where you're going to be staying while in town."

Surprisingly, Alice didn't take long to get ready. She even said something about how if Dimples doesn't like her in her normal state, he isn't the right guy for her. It was quite shocking.

We drove to the rental house first, and I was pleasantly surprised by how nice it was. It was a furnished log cabin that even had a two car garage. It was small, but certainly bigger than the studio apartment she was use to back in Seattle. Edward helped her take her suitcase out of the Hummer, and then the three of us continued to the hospital.

Alice and I followed Edward to the pediatric floor, and when he went to visit whatever patient he needed to see, we held back by the nurse's station.

"Oh, Bella, I'm happy to see you again so soon," the nurse there said happily.

"Hi, Kebi," I replied. "It's good to see you again too. How are you doing today?"

"Wonderful, as always. How are you adjusting to Alaska so far?"

"I love it here," I told her honestly.

"That is wonderful news. Who is your friend?"

I was about to answer her, but that was the moment I spotted Jasper walking by, so I hesitantly stopped him.

"Doctor Whitlock, do you have a minute?" I asked him.

"Well hello, Miss Bella. It's good to see you again. What can I do for you?"

"Um…" I glanced back at Alice who was looking all doe-eyed at him, even though he had yet to notice her. I was trying to think of the best way to introduce her, but then I thought – _to hell with it_. "You know, I felt so bad about your plight of finding a suitable single woman, so I sent away for one." I stepped back and grabbed Alice's arm, and pulled her forward. "This is Alice. She is beautiful, and single, and ready to mingle."

A huge grin automatically spread across Jasper's face, and then he held out his hand towards her. "Well it's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

Alice placed her hand in his, and blushed. "The pleasure is all mine."

Jasper had a few slow minutes, so he and Alice quickly started chitchatting. They were deep in flirtation when Edward finished and was ready to head to the airport.

"Are you ready?" I asked Alice.

"Hey, I'm off in an hour. Would you like to grab lunch?" Jasper asked her.

She smiled. "I just so happen to be free for the rest of the day," she told him, but then she quickly pulled me to the side. "Are you okay meeting the in-laws without me? I can come with you if you're uncomfortable."

"No, I'll be fine. Go have lunch with your future husband," I said facetiously.

"I love you," she said excitedly. "And they will love you too. Just wait and see."

I nodded, pretending I agreed with her. "Okay, well have fun with Dimples. You remember the way back to the rental house?"

"Yep. There are only like four main roads in this area. I should be good."

"Text me later," I insisted.

"You better text me too," she replied. I handed her the Hummer keys, and then Edward and I took off for the airport.

I was beyond nervous, especially after my conversation with Edward in the car on the way there…

"So… your parents have no idea about me, do they?" I figured as I started seeing signs for the airport along the highway. The closer we got, the more nervous I became.

"Uh… I haven't spoken to them since before you came, so… no."

"This will be fun," I grumbled, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious about his great grandmother's ring on my left hand.

"Bella, everything will be fine," he said, clearly sensing my nerves.

"You're the one who said you stayed with Kate for so long partly because your parents wanted you to," I pointed out. "Now, the ink is hardly dry on your divorce, and you put your mother's grandmother's ring on someone they haven't even met."

"Not to mention the fact that they're Catholic, and we are unmarried and expecting a baby," he added.

I whined as a response to his words, which just made him chuckle.

"Babe, don't worry about it. If they don't like you they can go fuck themselves," he said casually, which made me laugh.

"That is exactly what Alice said," I told him.

"Well, we're both right. I use to worry so much about what they thought and wanted, but I'm done with it all. Now I'm going to do what makes me happy, and you are what makes me happy. You are the only thing that has made me truly happy in years - actually, you're the only thing that has made me happy for as long as I can remember. I love my parents, but you are my life now, and you're the only person that I can't live without."

"I just don't want to come between you and them. They already lost one child, I just…"

"If they lose me over you, it will be their own damn fault. Listen, they aren't going to cause a big scene or anything. If they're upset, you probably won't even know. They're very reserved people."

Less than twenty minutes later, Edward's parents proved just how wrong he was about them being reserved. The moment Mrs. Cullen came into view and spotted Edward, she immediately started bawling.

"Oh. My. God," he grumbled under his breath as his mother closed in on him.

"I have missed you so much," she said through her tears. She grabbed a hold of him so tightly that I wondered how he was still breathing.

"Did you order her one too many drinks on the plane?" Edward asked his father over his mother's shoulder.

"She has had a rough time since you moved out here," Mr. Cullen told him. "I think she's developed separation anxiety since your crash."

"Wonderful," Edward grumbled.

"Oh, I just don't understand why you had to move to the place that almost killed you," Mrs. Cullen said emotionally as she pulled back to cradle Edward's face in her hands. "You could have at least moved to Anchorage so you could be close to your aunt and uncle."

"I don't like Anchorage," he told her.

"Well, perhaps if you come back to Seattle, you and Kate could…"

"Mom," he interrupted her. "As I have told you over and over when I was staying at your house, I will never reconcile with Kate. We're done for good."

"But you've been so sad, maybe if you just talk to her…"

"Anyway, so this is Bella," he said, cutting his mother off mid-sentence. "Bella, these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle."

Esme looked at me confused, however Carlisle smiled warmly. "Miss Swan. I'm so glad to finally meet you," he told me kindly. "We hoped to meet you sooner, but we just never had the opportunity. Are you here visiting Edward?"

"Um…" I looked to Edward for help, but that was when I was caught off guard by Esme embracing me.

"I just want you to know how grateful I am that you saved my son's life," she said getting emotional again. "The doctors said he would have died if it wasn't for your attempts to sew him up, and then the courageous way you sought help. I am forever indebted to you."

"Uh…" I awkwardly patted her back. "I only did what I had to do. He saved my life several times too, so I'd say we're even."

Esme pulled back but kept my hands in hers, and then smiled at me. "I'm so glad you two had each other out there. I'm sure you kept each other alive… both literally and spiritually. I can only imagine how easily it would have been for you both to just give up."

"Yeah, I can't even fathom the idea of going through any of that alone," I agreed.

Esme squeezed my hands, and seemed as if she was about to let them go, but then she must have felt a certain something on my finger, so she looked down and immediately gasped.

"So, I have some news," Edward said after noticing his mother's sudden surprise.

He didn't have time to explain, nor did he need to. Esme began bawling all over again, except this time, I was shocked to see that they were actually happy tears – at least I hoped they were happy. It was hard to be sure.

"You two are a couple?" I vaguely heard Edward's father ask him as Esme pulled me back in for another tearful embrace. She was absolutely blubbering.

I tried to hear Edward's response to his father, but it was impossible with how loud his mom was crying in my ear.

"Esme, did you hear what Edward just said?" Carlisle practically shouted at his wife.

She paused long enough to look at him.

"They're having a baby," Carlisle told her.

"What?" Esme asked in shock, and then her tears turned into screaming…and jumping. Everyone in that small airport must have turned to look at us, not that Esme seemed to care or even notice. She was overwhelmingly emotional, and as I glanced at Edward, he was clearly just as taken aback by his mother's display as I was.

"Mom, calm down," he told her after a minute.

She tried to calm herself, but her joy just turned into disbelief. "Edward Anthony Cullen, you better not be lying about any of this. I swear, if this is some big joke I'm going to get right back on that plane and go home."

"Why would I joke about that?" Edward said with a laugh. "Bella is pregnant, and we are going to get married…like soon."

"Why didn't you tell us any of this was happening?" Esme asked him with a mix of excitement and chastising. "I've been so worried about you! Here I was, thinking you were up here all alone and depressed. My goodness, you could have saved me a lot of heartache and grief."

"It was my fault," I spoke up. "He didn't know about the baby until a couple days ago when I showed up on his doorstep."

"How far along are you?" she asked curiously.

"Uh… three and a half months."

"Oh… so you two…"

"This is a cabin fever baby," Edward joked, while I punched him in the shoulder.

"So when you said your marriage to Kate was over, you weren't kidding," Carlisle said with a laugh.

"Our marriage was over long before that, dad," Edward told him, and then he turned to his mom. "I tried telling you, you just wouldn't listen."

Esme bit her bottom lip, and then nodded. "I'm sorry, honey," she said guiltily. "I didn't realize. I only ever wanted you to be happy," she said with more tears while reaching up to embrace him again.

"I am happy…now," he murmured.

"Then I couldn't be happier," she sang excitedly. "We're going to be grandparents, darling!" she said to her husband.

"Finally!" he said, matching her excitement.

"Finally?" Edward scoffed.

"I've been begging you to have kids for years," she said to him.

"I never wanted kids before," Edward argued.

"Well, I don't blame you for that. Kate wouldn't have made the best mother," she mumbled, almost incoherently.

Edward rolled his eyes, but instead of questioning her about it, he just seemed to let it go as he led us to where he parked the SUV.

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen climbed into the back seats, despite me offering to let one of them ride up front, and then we headed back home.

Edward held my hand as he drove, and when he unconsciously lifted our conjoined hands to kiss my knuckles, I heard a quiet "Aw," from Esme. It was safe to say she was happy about our relationship, which was such a huge relief for me.

Once we arrived back at the house, Edward gave his parents a quick tour, while I text Alice to make sure she was okay.

 **A _–_** _This is it, Bella. I found my husband. I just know it._

I laughed.

 **B** – _So you moving here permanently then?_

 **A** – _Do you think Edward will let me stay at this rental house until I'm ready to move in with Dimples?_

 **B** – _I don't see why not. Alice, you don't actually call him Dimples, do you?_

 **A –** _He likes it ;)_

I giggled again.

"This house is something else," Esme said as she walked into the living room where I was sitting.

"Yeah, it's a little overwhelming at first," I agreed. "I was sharing a tiny studio apartment in Seattle with my best friend before I came here. I think I could fit the entire apartment in this living room."

"But, it's beautiful."

"It is very beautiful," I agreed.

"Edward is showing Carlisle the backyard," she then told me. "I'm not much of an outdoor person. Especially in a place frequented by bears."

"Yeah, I have a little PTSD when it comes to bears, but they're fun to watch from the security of inside the kitchen."

"So, what does your family think of you moving way out here?" she questioned as she came to sit beside me. Then she smiled. "I'm just wondering if I have any allies in trying to convince you to move back to Seattle before the baby is born."

"Oh," I laughed. "Um, actually I don't really have any family. Both my parents passed, and they were both only children, and I don't have any siblings, so," I shrugged. "But Edward and I really love it out here… I mean, we may change our minds after the baby comes, but I don't think so."

Esme sighed. "Then I guess Carlisle and I will have to move out here too."

"What?" I asked, unsure if I even heard her right.

"Well, what's keeping us in Seattle anyway?" she questioned. "Edward is our only child, and I want to be close to my grandbabies… But, I promise you, I will not be one of those horrible smothering mother in-laws from hell. Speaking of which, I believe I owe you an apology."

"An apology?" I asked confused.

She nodded. "For the things I was saying at the airport before I even realized you were there."

I shook my head with bafflement. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"One of the first things I did when I saw Edward was try to convince him to work things out with Kate. I just want you to know, I'm very sorry about that. I think my insistence that their split was only temporary was one of the reasons Edward moved so far away. I honestly thought he was like a soldier coming back from war. I believed he was suffering from some PTSD and he was a bit shell shocked, and that was the only reason they were apart. I didn't realize they had issues before. He tried to tell me, but again, I thought they would get over whatever fight they had. I can see now it was more than just a fight. He never…"

"What?" I prompted softly when she let her words trail off.

She took a deep breath. "He never looked at Kate the way I've already seen him looking at you. Even in the couple hours it's been since I've met you, I don't have a doubt that you two were meant to be together. I've already apologized to him while he was showing us around the house, but I wanted to apologize to you too. Because what you have is beautiful, and if I would have had it my way, this wouldn't have happened. So I'm sorry."

She was back to crying, and back to hugging me. Esme's emotions were so big, but at the same time, how could I really blame her? She lost her daughter at a young age, and had to live through the belief that her son was forever lost as well. It would have been torture for anyone.

"Esme, you don't owe me an apology at all. You didn't know about our relationship. We didn't even do what we should have when it came to our relationship. I wasted over three months stupidly thinking he didn't love me, when I should have been out here right away. And it's understandable that you wanted Edward back with Kate. They were together for a long time, and you were close to her, so…"

Esme made a strange expression, so I paused.

"Truth be told," she said hesitantly. "I never really liked Kate on a personal level."

I raised my brows. "You didn't? My friend said you seemed close when she saw you after our plane crash."

"My mother in-law, god rest her soul, was quite possibly the most horrid woman to walk this planet," she said with a slight laugh. "I always swore I wouldn't be like that. I never wanted to insert myself into Edward and Kate's business. I never had any qualms with her. I did my best to be the mother in-law I would have wanted, but… I suppose having my attention directed at her instead of my son, I missed some things. I smothered Edward as a child, and left him to the wolves as an adult, until the time he actually wanted me to leave him alone, and I just couldn't. I haven't been the best mother. I can see that now, and it breaks my heart. Honey, I just want you to know, I will not ever be offended if you ask me to back off for whatever reason, and I'm going to do a better job at listening to Edward too. I promised him that, and now I'm promising you."

"Well, I appreciate that. To be honest, I'm just glad my kids will have loving grandparents," I told her, suddenly getting emotional myself. "And with my parents gone, I'm sure I'll be calling you all the time for advice on baby stuff."

"Oh, I would love that. Anything you need - anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask. I would love to help with everything and anything, but I'm going to wait for you to ask, because I refuse to assert myself where I'm not wanted."

"I will definitely let you know," I assured her.

"And I want you to know… if Bree couldn't," Esme paused in an attempt to regain her composure. "If Bree couldn't have my grandmother's ring, I am so incredibly glad that Edward could give it to the love of his life."

"I am so honored to wear it," I told her sincerely.

"Oh, I'm just so grateful for you," she said while pulling me into another hug. "I can already see how much Edward loves you. Thank you for loving him back."

"Well, he makes it easy to love him," I told her as she continued to hold me tightly.

"Ah, they're bonding," I heard Carlisle say as he and Edward entered the room.

"Is she scaring you?" Edward asked me, playfully serious.

"Oh, you stop that!" Esme chided him while finally letting me go.

The four of us, well, six including the dogs, enjoyed the rest of the day together. His parents were sweet, and made me feel genuinely welcomed into their family.

The following day, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen proved just how serious they were about moving to Alaska to be closer to us. They called their lawyer back in Seattle, and told him to put their house on the market. Then Edward and Carlisle spent the afternoon scoping out property nearby for sale, while Esme and I picked up Alice and went wedding shopping, which morphed into baby shopping, which then swung back around to wedding shopping again. Esme and Alice had already met previously after the crash, but I was so happy to see how well they got along. Everything truly felt perfect.

When we were finished shopping for the day, Alice went to spend the evening with Jasper, Esme went to view the houses Carlisle had found, so Edward and I had some much needed time alone.

"So, not finding much for a wedding venue?" he questioned lazily after we took advantage of the empty house to make love.

I rolled over and kissed his chest. "There are so many beautiful places around here. Just none available in our time frame," I told him.

"Get dressed, I want to show you something," he suggested.

I whined, not wanting to get out of bed, but his parents would be back anytime so I suppose it was for the best anyway.

When we were back to looking presentable, Edward led me out back, and pointed towards the yard. "Right there."

"What?" I asked confused.

"We can get married right there. With the big snowy peak for the backdrop. There is plenty of room, and the outdoor mountain-scape fits us."

I smiled widely as the entire thing suddenly became clear in my mind. He was absolutely right, it was perfect.

"You're not saying anything," Edward said after a minute. "We could also do the whole church wedding thing, and then do the reception here…"

"Shh!" I hushed him. "I'm picturing it."

He laughed. "Yes, dear."

"I think having it here would be better than perfect. Better than anything I ever imagined even."

He nodded. "I think it could be really cool."

So we made the decision, and just like with him formally proposing, having the location of our wedding set made it that much more real. Alice and Esme both loved the idea as well, so the next step was sending out the invites. But the truth was, if no one showed up to witness us get married, I would be perfectly okay with it. All that mattered was us, and nothing was going to stop us from getting our happily ever after.


	26. Life

**Chapter 26 – Life**

"Maybe we didn't properly think this through," Edward said as he looked out the kitchen window at the blanket of glowing white outside.

"It has to let up soon, right?" I asked, getting increasingly more anxious.

"I don't know, it is Alaska. It may not let up until spring," he said with a nervous chuckle. "I'll try to dig out the SUV in the morning."

"It will just be covered again by the time we need to go anywhere," I pointed out.

"On the bright side, my parents won't be over for a while to bug you," he said, jokingly serious.

"They do not bug me," I told him, wondering why he would say such a thing.

"Maybe it's me they bug," he laughed.

Edward may not have enjoyed his parent's frequent presence in our home over the past six months, but I certainly did. I absolutely loved having parental figures around after so long without my own mom and dad. Esme had been such a huge help to me ever since I entered my last trimester of pregnancy, and even more so when I was in my last few weeks.

…

 _"This baby is big like her daddy," Esme had told me while rubbing my huge stomach the last time she was able to visit. "I could hardly move when I was in my ninth month with Edward, and when I was pregnant with Bree I was even bigger."_

 _"I can't imagine getting any bigger than this," I replied with wide eyes._

 _Esme had definitely been a comfort to me that only a mother could bring, and I was grateful to have her in my life._

...

Esme had been coming over almost daily to make us dinner and help with the laundry, which was awkward at first, but she was so warm and loving that I soon let myself just enjoy it. She also kept me company while Edward was at work, and I actually truly missed her since the winter storms kept us locked in the house for the past several days.

Esme and Carlisle lived only five miles away on a ten acre property, but even five miles in a blizzard was just too far. However, they were able to keep in contact with us through satellite phone texts…

"Your mom said she would use their ATV to get here if we need her," I told Edward with a laugh after reading her latest message.

Edward groaned. "My dad said yesterday they were both going stir-crazy. I think they're driving each other insane."

"I'm actually kind of liking the isolation right now," I said while wrapping my arms around Edward's body.

"I love being isolated with you too," he agreed before kissing me tenderly. Our relationship had begun during our isolation up at the cabin, so being snowed in certainly wasn't tough on us. I would happily be stuck inside with him for weeks, or months, or even years if necessary. Of course, me being about to pop complicated matters a tad bit.

"So… what are we going to do if I go into labor, and we still can't get out of here?" I asked as we kept our arms around each other for an extended hug, just watching the snow coming down in heavy sheets of white.

"I do know a doctor that could help," he said unconcerned.

"As a neurosurgeon, do you deliver babies often?" I asked facetiously.

"No, but I have sewn a leg on a patient with a severed artery. That's not my usual forte, but I kept my cool. It was bleeding out and she almost died, but I handled it like a champ."

My mouth fell agape. Never before did he say anything about a severed artery.

He chuckled at my expression. "I handled it, babe. You're here, aren't you? If I can handle that, I can certainly handle a baby being born."

I grimaced. "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that."

"I hate to break it to you, but it may very well come down to that. I have a feeling we're going to be stuck in here for a while, and you are due."

I whined.

"In fact," he continued. "I think you should let me check your cervix to see if you're dilated."

I had to laugh at that one – I only wish it was the humorous kind of laugh instead of the terrified one I let out. "You want to check my cervix?"

"You are freaking out over nothing. Love, I'm a doctor, I can handle this."

"You're a pediatric neurosurgeon," I said slowing. "Not an obstetrician. A firefighter is more qualified to deliver a baby than you."

"That. Hurts. I told you, I backup the ER when they're busy. And, as a doctor of any kind of medicine, obstetrics was part of my training in medical school. I am a pediatric neurosurgeon because I went to additional schooling to become a specialist in that field. Additional. If you think of it that way, I'm even more qualified."

"That makes zero sense," I said to him, but at least I was genuinely smiling at his adorkableness.

"Come on. Let me examine you and I'll prove to you just how qualified I am."

I scowled at him, but when I glanced at the white nothingness outside, I realized I may not have another choice of doctor.

So there I was, lying on our bed, naked from the waist down, with my legs bent, and about to let my husband give me a vaginal exam…

Fuck. My. Life.

"You're not even wearing gloves!" I yelled at him when I saw his far too eager bare fingers reaching for my vagina.

"Yeah, but I washed the hell out of my hands. Trust me, I'm a surgeon. I know how to properly wash."

"You have gloves in your medical bag," I argued. "You want to be my OB, you should do it right."

"Babe, I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"What are you now, Darth Vader? You totally stole that line from Star Wars!"

"That is a false statement. I started the line by saying 'Babe', I doubt Vader ever called anyone babe."

"Edward," I whined in frustration.

"I know, this is serious." He then showed me just how serious he was, by sticking his face by my vagina, and saying, "Little one, I'm coming in. Don't be scared, I am your father."

"Ugh!" I groaned.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We really shouldn't have done the Star Wars marathon yesterday. Now I'm stuck on it. But it's done now. I got it out of my system."

"You sure about that?" I said doubtfully.

"Yes, I'll be good. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I whined again.

"What are you even freaking out about? I've been in this area four times in the last twenty four hours alone."

"Yeah, but you weren't pretending to be my doctor at the time… What are you doing?" I nearly spat when I felt his fingers doing something very un-doctor-y.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Force of habit," he replied sheepishly. Of course, his admittance of guilt didn't stop his action. If anything, his fingers just seemed to get more determined as they massaged and caressed my most sensitive area.

"Why are you still doing it?" I asked huskily, getting far more aroused than I wanted to be at the moment.

"I don't have any lube. I need the natural stuff so I can examine you properly."

"How could you not have any lube in your doctor's bag?" I growled through my building arousal.

"Well I do, but my bag is on the other side of the house. Fuck!"

"What?" I shouted in concern.

"Now I have a hard on. Great. I was trying to be professional."

"Oh my god. You are never allowed to help with pregnant related patients in the ER again."

"Do you honestly think I would do all of this for anyone who isn't you? Don't be gross. You are my weakness. I want to fuck you all day, every day. I intended to do this by the book, but my dick is confused. This isn't our usual workplace; this is where I let him out to play. You need to go a little easier on him. He's never seen your vagina before without being allowed inside."

"Oh my god!"

"Blame him, not me."

"How about I punish him by not letting him inside there, or any of my other orifices either," I threatened him.

Edward looked down at his erection. "Now you're getting us both in trouble."

His adorably pitiful expression broke me, and I found myself getting up and climbing on top of his lap. My lips were on his before he even had a chance to protest. He kissed me hungrily back, but then he put on the brakes.

"I really want to see if you're dilated at all. It could give us an idea of how close you are."

I huffed, and then grudgingly reclined back so he could do his thing, but that was when he took out his phone.

"You better not be taking a picture of my vagina!"

He chuckled. "No, Doctor Eleazar texted me awhile back with instructions on how to check your cervix. I just wanted to read them over one more time before I did this."

"What happened to you learning how in med school?" I teased him.

"I did learn it, but it was only one short course, and it was a long time ago. I thought a little refresher would be helpful."

With checking his doctor to doctor text conversation, Edward managed to focus and get serious for the first time since we went into the bedroom that evening.

"Okay, I got this," he said confidently.

Lucky for the both of us, his previous playfulness definitely helped with lubrication, and his fingers were able to slide inside of me easily.

"Ah, babe, I don't think you're dilated," he told me as he prodded around inside of me. "If you are, it's only like a one."

I sighed. "Well, that's good, right?" I said as he withdrew his fingers. "Maybe I'll outlast this storm…" I said, but let my words trail off. Instead of cleaning up his hand, he went back to my clitoris.

"Is this what we're doing now?" I asked as another wave of arousal hit me full force. "I have to say, I have never had an exam of any kind like this one."

"You better not have," he said with his voice thick with desire. His mouth quickly replaced his fingers, and my back immediately arched from the sudden jolt sensation shot straight through my core.

When he knew I was close, his mouth traveled up my swollen body, leaving a trail of goosebumps everywhere his lips touched. He pushed up my shirt to reach my sensitive nipples, and I nearly lost all self-control. I didn't notice him undoing his pants, but the moment he pushed himself into me, that was it. I came fast and hard, and I could do nothing but ride that intensity like a helpless passenger on some amazing rollercoaster of sensational bliss as he sought his own climax. It was so fucking amazing that I forgot why we had even gone into the room in the first place. It was the kind of orgasm that made me momentarily forget my own damn name.

"Okay, you're forgiven," I said while struggling to catch my breath as my wits finally came back to me. "But I do have to say, you're lucky you are so freaking good at distracting me from how bad of an OB you are. I might actually be scared to be stranded here with you right now if it wasn't for what you just did to me."

He chuckled. "Distraction was definitely my goal… Okay, that was a lie. I didn't intend to do any of that. I'm so damn weak. Shit! I really just wanted to examine you in a professional manner."

"Listen, you better stop doing this for awhile," I warned him.

"Doing what exactly?" he asked confused.

"This. Getting us all hot and bothered. Fucking right now is not good."

"It wasn't good?" he asked, feigning offense. "Now we have to do it again so I can give you a proper fucking."

"That's not what I meant. Sex right now in general isn't a good idea."

He laughed. "Why not? Your water hasn't broken, so it's perfectly safe."

"Because my doctor told me that semen has been known to ripen the cervix, and orgasms can bring on labor."

"I'm only hearing reasons to have even more sex."

"No! I don't want to have this baby during a blizzard. I need to hold it in there for another week at least."

"Hate to break it to you, but this storm could last that long," he said with far too much enthusiasm.

Sure enough, less than twelve hours later, my water broke, and the storm raged on...

"No, no, no! My doctor told me this rarely happens. Usually women experience a few hours of labor before their water breaks."

"Babe, when have we ever done anything normal?" Edward asked me excitedly. "We are having this baby just like it was conceived. In perfect isolation."

"You are far too happy about this," I grumbled.

"You're right, I'm stoked," he admitted. "This is exactly the way it should be. Just you, and me, and… the snow."

"And the dogs," I added.

"They are sleeping by the fire, so they don't count," he replied quickly.

"I'm going to text your mom," I said while grabbing my phone, but then I was hit with a mountain of pain in my lower back.

"How about you don't call my mom," he said, taking the phone from me. "She will just freak out, and try to find a way to come over here. We can call her when the baby is out."

His words made the entire situation feel real. We were really having a baby, stuck at home, with a blizzard going on outside. I suppose he was right, it was fitting given our isolated beginning.

"Are you sure we have everything we need?" I asked concerned.

"You know I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he said soothingly. And I did know that. Edward had always taken care of me from the first day we met, and I knew that situation wasn't going to be any different. Besides, regardless of my anxiety, I knew we were more than prepared. We had stocked up on food, water, and three months worth of every single necessity a baby could possibly need. The nursery was ready. We were ready. I just needed to keep reminding myself that.

When the pain intensified, I experienced every emotion possible. From complete faith and love for Edward, to me cursing his name for getting me into that situation. It was pure craziness, and during my brief calm moments, I wondered how the hell Edward even put up with me.

As the pain reached an all time high, and my spirits were at an all time low, something made me turn my head and my eyes locked on our wedding pictures hanging on the wall. Regardless of the pain, my mind went right back to that day…

 _…_

 _"So, now that you're about to get your happily ever after wedding, it's just about time for you to help me plan mine," Alice said to me as she helped button up the back of my dress. "Oh honey, this is barely fitting. This wedding couldn't have come soon enough."_

 _"It just fit perfectly last week," I said surprised as I tried to suck in my slightly bloated but mostly flat stomach. It was like I had a few extra pounds of swelling, but still nothing too noticeable._

 _"Well, you're only going to get bigger from here," Alice replied._

 _I groaned slightly, but then I recalled what she was saying a minute before. "So, what did you just say about me helping you plan your wedding?"_

 _She smiled sheepishly, and then held up her left hand to show me a big shiny new rock on her ring finger._

 _"Alice!" I said in a mix of disbelief and slight concern. "You just met him like two and a half weeks ago."_

 _"I know, but when you know, you know."_

 _"Your parents are going to kill you," I said with a laugh._

 _"Relax. We're going to have a long engagement, but he wanted to stake his claim on me before anyone else gets the chance," she explained, having a hard time keeping the smile off her face._

 _I smiled back at her, and just shook my head. Leave it to Alice to fall in love after one date, and get engaged after two weeks. At that rate, she will probably become Mrs. Dimples within the next month. But despite the rushed romance, I was sincerely happy that she was so happy, and selfishly I was ecstatic that my best friend was planning her future in the same town I was._

 _When it was time for the ceremony to begin, I was surprisingly calm. There were no jitters or cold feet. I was just eager to marry the love of my life, and officially start our happily ever after together._

 _With my father gone, I considered walking down the aisle alone, but after I saw the heels Alice picked out for me, I knew I would need a little support, so I nervously asked Carlisle. I hadn't known him long, but he was one of the sweetest men I had ever met, and when he immediately broke down in tears, I knew I made the right decision. Esme had pulled me aside afterwards and told me how much it meant to him. He would never get the chance to walk his daughter down the aisle, so in a way, we were both leaning on each other to fill the void that our loved ones left when they passed on. We were both happy to do it._

 _Carlisle was like a handsome older version of my soon to be husband, and when he came into the room to escort me outside, I had a vivid flash of what my future with Edward would look like - Him, handsome with salt and pepper hair. Me, all short and wrinkly. Us, holding hands as we rocked on our porch, lazily watching the sky above us. The image was so clear in my mind, and I was so excited to experience every single moment of it._

 _The music changed, and Alice skipped out first as my maid of honor, and then I wove my arm through Carlisle's, and we walked carefully towards the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Edward's smile was so wide, and so full of love, that it was hard not to let go of Carlisle and just sprint forward to reach him. I couldn't wait for the wedding to be finished so I could finally be irrevocably tied to Edward in every way._

 _The aisle seemed far too long, but when I finally reached Edward, he gave his father a hug, before taking my hands and telling me how much he loved me._

 _The rest of the wedding was a blur, but I knew I would never forget the moment I officially became Edward's wife. It truly was the best moment of my life up until that point._

 _The reception was beautiful, and fun, and everyone seemed to have a great time. We only had fifty guests, but everyone that truly mattered was there, and I couldn't imagine anything better._

 _The first time I met Edward, he was a stiff, up tight, frigid person, and I was naïvely on my way to marry the wrong man. If someone would have told me back then that this was my future, there was no way in hell that I would have believed them. We had come so far from those people. It took a mountain of experiences and personal growth to get where we were in that moment. But every pain, every torturous step, every life threatening situation, was so beyond worth it._

 _..._

It had been the best day of my life… until the day my daughter came into the world.

"Bella, you need to give it one more big push," Edward encouraged me.

"I can't!" I cried, feeling exhausted and defeated.

"Babe, you can!" he said, encouragingly stern. "You are the strongest person I know. You can do anything."

"I don't feel strong. I feel so incredibly weak," I argued.

"Bella, remember when we were in the wreckage, and I needed to sew up your leg? How did you get through it?"

"I don't know… I tried to get my mind off of it."

He nodded. "This time I want you to do the exact opposite."

"Huh?" I asked perplexed. "You want me to focus on the pain?"

"I want you to focus on the baby," he clarified. "Remember why you're doing this. If you can just find the strength deep inside, the pain will be over, and you'll be holding our baby. You can do this, Bella. I know you can."

As I considered his words, I looked deep into his eyes, and somehow, someway, I found that strength within him, and used it to push out our baby.

Ember Brienne Cullen, was conceived on an isolated mountain top, and born at home during a blizzard. We had an entirely different name picked out for her, but when she came out, screaming with an intensity of wildfire, and a slight hint of red to her hair, we knew she was our little spark burning through the snow storm. Ember just seemed to fit her, and Brienne was Edward's sister's name, which I was so overjoyed to honor.

"Hey mom, what are you guys doing right now?" Edward asked Esme over the phone. He had her on speaker so I could hear every word she said.

"Oh, you know, going crazy being stuck in this house with your father for the second week in a row," Esme replied casually.

"Put your phone on speaker so we could talk to dad too," he instructed.

"Honey, what's going on?" she asked concerned.

"Just do it," he said, slightly frustrated.

There was a beat of silence, and then she came back on the speaker. "Okay, we can both hear you."

"Hi son, hi Bella," Carlisle said cheerfully to us.

"Hey dad. So we wanted you guys to say hi to Ember," Edward told them.

"Did you get another dog?" Esme asked clueless.

"No, our dog has a person name, so we thought it was only fitting that our little person has an animal name," Edward joked, so I smacked him.

"Ember is not an animal name," I hissed.

"Wait, what are you saying?" Esme asked on the verge of understanding.

As if on cue, Ember made a little noise, followed by a soft cry….which made Esme scream and then start audibly bawling.

"She's here? Is she okay? How's Bella?" Esme finally asked after she was able to get ahold of herself.

"Mama and baby are both perfect. I would make an excellent OB," Edward replied pompously.

"Oh, I want to come see her," Esme whined.

"You said her name is Ember?" Carlisle asked over the sound of his wife's blubbering. "I thought you were going to name her Charlotte, after Bella's father?"

"We were, but wait until you see her. Ember just fits," Edward replied.

"Does she have red in her hair?" Esme asked knowingly.

"Yeah. How'd you guess?" Edward questioned.

"You had so much red in your hair when you were little. I'm still surprised you're not a ginger now."

"He still has some hints of red in the sun," I told her.

"I am not a ginger," Edward denied.

"Oh, Ember just sounds so perfect!" Esme squealed.

"It is, but we do still like Charlotte though," I told them. "Maybe for our next baby."

"Well, it must have gone smoothly if she is already thinking about baby number two," Carlisle said with a chuckle that was almost identical to Edward's.

"She already wants to be pregnant again," Edward teased me.

"No, I can wait… a few months," I joked back.

"What's her full name?" Esme then asked us.

"Ember Brienne Cullen," I told them, and of course we could hear them both crying after hearing her middle name.

"Oh, thank you so much for thinking of Bree," Esme said emotionally.

"Well, it fits, because Bella is the first person I really talked about Bree with, and we seemed to get much closer after that first time we talked about her, so it just makes sense," Edward explained.

"It's a beautiful and fitting name," Carlisle agreed.

"Oh, I can't wait to meet her!" Esme squealed again.

Baby Ember gave her grandparents a parting squeak, and then we said goodbye. I called Alice next, and she was almost as excited as the Cullens had been. We made a few more calls, and then we took the time to just rest and enjoy the peace with our new little life.

…

Raising Ember, who we lovingly nicknamed Em, in the awe-inspiring serenity of Alaska, was absolute perfection. She loved being outside as we went on long hikes in the mountains, and playing in the snow with her canine best friends.

Foxy became a different dog when Em was born as well. She was practically a second mommy. She had to always be by whoever was holding her, and when Em became mobile, there was Foxy, following her everywhere she went. Jake, of course, loved her too, but he loved her the way he loved all of us. Foxy basically just loved Em.

By the time she was two, Ember was already a traveling pro. From going back and forth to our Hawaiian bungalow, to visiting Africa and Asia on Edward's work missions - Em came with us for it all, and rarely ever complained. She loved to travel, and she thrived while getting to know all sorts of different people. With her own little toddler proof camera, she also loved taking pictures as much as I did. Edward treated patients in rural areas of the world, and Em and I found beauty to shoot everywhere we went.

We managed to get Foxy acclimated to travel as well, but we only took the dogs with us when we traveled within the US. There were too many laws with out of country traveling with pets, so they stayed with Edward's parents during those trips. Not that they minded, they adored his parents, and his parents treated them like grandchildren.

Originally I had wanted to have our kids close together, but with all our traveling, and being so busy, we decided to take the time to just enjoy Em for a while. And we certainly enjoyed every minute with her.

….

Four years after we first found our way to that isolated Alaskan cabin, we got news that the owner passed away. The family didn't want such a remote property, so of course Edward couldn't let it go. He bought it without hesitation, and we packed up a couple ATVs, and went back to the place we fell in love.

Em loved the cabin, of course, and after she fell asleep in her own little cot that we brought for her, Edward and I finally conceived our second child. It was only fitting that I got pregnant there once again, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Our son, Charles Anthony Cullen, came into the world exactly forty weeks after our trip to the cabin, and he too was born at home during a blizzard. It was surprising just how much that coincidence wasn't surprising.

The following spring, Alice and Jasper welcomed their first child, which was awesome because we knew our kids would always be the best of friends.

Life was crazy, and beautiful, and a non-stop adventure. I couldn't even imagine living any other way, and it was all made possible because of a fateful plane crash. We started out with a mountain of differences between us, but the only mountain left was the mountain we climbed every day together. The mountain of this incredible life…

...

 *****A/N:** And with that, I mark this story as _complete_! It's such a bittersweet feeling. I'm going to miss these characters like crazy, but I'm happy they got their HEA.

To anyone who read _Twilight on the Blue Lagoon -_ yes, their baby's name, "Em", and the fact that they were able to return to the cabin to conceive their children, were sort of an homage to that fic. Without _Blue Lagoon_ being so well received, I probably wouldn't have ever written this one. The stranded plot has been so fun for me to tackle twice now, and I want to thank everyone who supported both stories.

I also need to give a very special shout-out to two ladies, for all their help with this story. First and foremost, **CoppertopJ** , who saved my butt with pre-reading, editing, and making some killer collages. I know you don't like a lot of recognition, but I can't end this without thanking you here. This story would have sucked without you. Lol. And second, thank you to **JA Mash** for making some beautiful manips for me to post on Facebook. You are so good at what you do!

Last, but certainly not least, I want to thank each and every one of you who has taken the time to read and review this story. You made it so much fun to write, and I was always anxious to read all of your thoughts and opinions for each chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

~KC


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